Pregnancy Depression

murphyame · July 2014

Is anyone else dealing with pregnancy blues?? I feel like a horrible person. I have no excitement or joy and I don't understand why. This was planned, I had been wanting this for 3 years. I fake my excitement with my hubby and daughter because I don't want to ruin it for them, but is so exhausting... I

I cry all the time, like, ALL the time. This is not like me at all, It is such a strange feeling...

I just need to know this isn't just me...please tell me others suffer from this as well.

Cheekers2010 · July 2014

Oh girl, I'm sorry. You are not alone. Please mention this to your doctor. You don't need to go on feeling this way. ((hugs))

turkeyleg5 · July 2014

Although I am not currently dealing with this issue, I have battled with depression throughout my life, including times that I thought “should” have been times of great joy. I am terrified (terrified) of getting depression later on in this pregnancy or post-partum depression. I am terrified because I know what its like and how terrible it is - I know that I can’t simply talk my way out of it, “cheer up,” change how I feel even though I think I “should” be happy. I feel like if it happens, it happens, and I have no control over how I’m going to feel (although I can try to prepare). When I think back on when I was depressed, I can’t believe the types of thoughts and feelings I had – even having experience them, it doesn’t seem real sometimes. I guess I’m just saying this because I can relate to your comment that this is not like you, and want to emphasize that it can and will get better.

For me, it really helped to get outside help. I’m planning on getting set up with a therapist before giving birth, just in case. I talked to DH about my fears, and since he knows my history, it turns our that he has been having the same worry (about me) but didn’t know if he should say anything. And he is completely on board with me getting set up with a therapist ahead of time even though money is really tight and our insurance sucks. This is important.

I suggest talking to your doctor about this, and, if you feel that you can, your husband. I know it’s not always that easy though. Please feel free to message me any time.

turkeyleg5 · July 2014

I don’t mean to be stalking you, but as I was catching up my Bump reading for the day, I happened to noticed that you had written a very nice comment to another woman who was struggling. “Don't feel guilty for being sad … Hang in there.” If you can, try to extend the same warmth and compassion to yourself as you obviously do to others. You deserve it.

saltsandwater · July 2014

I went off my anti-depressants for my first month of pregnancy and couldn't function. My husband, psychiatrist and OB both agreed it would be better for me to be ON them. We'll be discussing weaning off medication or changing as I'd like to breast feed, if possible. When it comes to pregnancy/breast feeding, we've learned we have to look at what is best for me AND the baby. I hope that helps. You aren't alone. Remember that, and reach out. Your mental health affects your baby. xox

beachy6 · July 2014

I'm in the same boat as you. This pregnancy was very wanted and we worked with lots of IF treatments to get where we are. However, I'm not enjoying being pregnant at all. I'm terrified with all of the what-ifs and that's sucking the joy out of pregnancy.

I talked to my cousin who had the same situation and she never enjoyed her pregnancy. But, she was fine when the pregnancy was over. I have a feeling I'll be like that. My husband feels the same as I do, so we are struggling together. We are both faking our excitement to others because most people certainly wouldn't get it.

Since I'm in the same boat, I don't have any words of wisdom, but know that you aren't alone!

hellopartyof5 · July 2014

Depression sucks balls guys. I was having a really hard time connecting to the pregnancy and being happy. I'm slowly working through it and trying to amp myself up about it. I've always had trouble with depression and about a year ago I decided to go off medication. It took me weaning off them for 4 months but I'm feeling better now. It got to the point where I had to stop feeling sorry for myself and get on with life. Don't get me wrong, I still have bad days BUT I'm having much more good days because I'm making myself have good days. So get outside, hang out with friends, talk more about the pregnancy and whats developing in the baby this week. It may not solve all the sadness issues, but I think it will help. Obviously ignore this if you don't think it applies, but I know the biggest problem for me was holing up at home and feeling sorry for myself. I noticed once I got out that things weren't so bad

Keep your head up girl, everything's going to be great

yellowroseFRA · July 2014

Hi, you are definitely not alone! I felt this way throughout the first trimester. However, I have been depressed in the past and have OCD, and since the doctors here in Germany wouldn't let me continue any medication while pregnant, I was also going through withdrawal symptoms during that time. But I still feel that much of the depressed feeling was truly from the hormonal changes - suddenly my life just seemed so incredibly sad and hardly worth living, and I was convinced that having a baby would be the worst decision I'd ever made in my life. But I was seeing a psychiatrist, and having had depression at other times, I just kept pushing myself through each day knowing that phases like this do eventually go away. And as horrible as it was for three months, it magically lifted for me during the fourth month. But I do still worry about what things will be like post-partum, since if hormone shifts made that much of a difference for me so far, I'm sure it will be much more dramatic after giving birth, and for me, any kind of life change can be a trigger.

Like everyone said, a therapist is really key. Especially if you feel that your mood feels "not like you", like something forced on you that you can't control - this is one thing I've learned over the years that is a really good signal that what you're dealing with isn't just a normal reaction to a sad or stressful life phase but rather a real chemical imbalance. And if you see someone and they recommend medication, go for it. I would have probably remained on my antidepressant if I could have found anyone here who'd continue to prescribe it! Also, for me exercise makes a massive difference, especially any type of outdoor activity where you can get some sunlight - exercise boosts endorphins and serotonin naturally, the same thing that antidepressants do. And don't feel guilty about your emotions - they don't say anything about you as a person! If you're depressed, it's just like any other illness, and it shouldn't stigmatize you any more than having, say, asthma would. It's something you CAN manage, you just might need some professional help!

bowlwoman · July 2014

I have PCOS and had PPD after DD2, so I've been scared shitless this entire pregnancy that I'll get depression during the pregnancy. Since the PCOS causes such a hormone imbalance and moms with PCOS are twice as likely to get depression, it's a very real fear for me.

I second the PP who discussed talking to your SO and doctor. I waited several months with the PPD to get help, and I wish I had done it sooner. There are a lot of things at play with pregnancy, and depression just sucks. The hormones sometimes just make it worse. My MIL went on meds during menopause, so there really is a correlation.

Good luck, hang in there, and talk to your doctor.

littleboyermoose · July 2014

Hey girl, you're not alone. I feel like my moods have been very much like a rollercoaster, and the sadness is definitely the low point. I am enjoying the highs when they happen. If you are feeling truly depressed, which it sounds like you are, I would seek help. There is absolutely no shame in it, and you would be doing it for the good of your family. Good luck!

LovesBooks · July 2014

Like everyone is commenting, you are absolutely not alone. I've struggled with depression my whole life and it has continued into pregnancy. I'm on anti-depressants and my OB and psychiatrist felt it best I stay on them. I tried coming off months back when we were thinking about becoming pregnant but I wasn't okay. I'm in a healthier mental state on anti-depressants.

I'm happy I'm pregnant but I literally think its not real. I'm doing everything to keep this baby healthy but its as if I'm mentally preparing for it to end badly. Like I'm not allowed to have something amazing like this happen.

I'm terrified that if the baby is healthy and everything is good, I'll have postpartum depression.

Guess I cannot stop preparing myself for the worst.

freakyfast · July 2014

beachy6 said:

I'm in the same boat as you. This pregnancy was very wanted and we worked with lots of IF treatments to get where we are. However, I'm not enjoying being pregnant at all. I'm terrified with all of the what-ifs and that's sucking the joy out of pregnancy.

This is me too. I worry about every pain I have and everything I don't have. (((HUGS))) you aren't alone.

Ingle006 · July 2014

Like most others I highly recommend talking to your doctor. I had never experienced depression before my 1st pregnancy, so I thought my sadness and lack of desire to do anything was just a phase and part of the expected mood swings. I went on to develop PPD after my DS was born. If I had gotten help while I was pregnant I don't think I would have developed full on PPD. Hang in there. Don't fight this alone. Your happiness is the most important thing.

murphyame · July 2014

You all have been so sweet. You all have such kind words and great advice. I feel better knowing I am not alone (or a horrible person) and that there are options. I have my dr's appt next week and I will be talking to my OB. I suffered from PPD after my first and was/am expecting to deal with itt with this one. I just wasn't prepared for it during the pregnancy.

QueenOfSpades622 · July 2014

nauticallife said:

Depression sucks balls guys. I was having a really hard time connecting to the pregnancy and being happy. I'm slowly working through it and trying to amp myself up about it. I've always had trouble with depression and about a year ago I decided to go off medication. It took me weaning off them for 4 months but I'm feeling better now. It got to the point where I had to stop feeling sorry for myself and get on with life. Don't get me wrong, I still have bad days BUT I'm having much more good days because I'm making myself have good days. So get outside, hang out with friends, talk more about the pregnancy and whats developing in the baby this week. It may not solve all the sadness issues, but I think it will help. Obviously ignore this if you don't think it applies, but I know the biggest problem for me was holing up at home and feeling sorry for myself. I noticed once I got out that things weren't so bad Keep your head up girl, everything's going to be great

Sorry to post a couple days late but i've been MIA out of town and just catching up. I couldn't let this comment go. I'm not trying to start drama by any means as I agree with most of what you said can see where you are coming from. However that said the bold section rubbed me the wrong way, the way in which you chose to phrase this makes it seems as though a person can chose to be or not be depressed. As a person that has suffered depression if I ever hear again "just tell yourself you're fine and get over it" I think I may snap. I've tried that it is not just as simple as that for all people. I am sure this is not how you meant it I just wanted to bring to light you being more aware with your wording.

Mikesfan · July 2014

saltsandwater said:

I went off my anti-depressants for my first month of pregnancy and couldn't function. My husband, psychiatrist and OB both agreed it would be better for me to be ON them. We'll be discussing weaning off medication or changing as I'd like to breast feed, if possible. When it comes to pregnancy/breast feeding, we've learned we have to look at what is best for me AND the baby. I hope that helps. You aren't alone. Remember that, and reach out. Your mental health affects your baby. xox

THIS exactly, 100%, every bit. Please PM me if you need support. I have suffered from Antepartum Depression (PPD's ugly cousin no one talks about).

Eora3 · July 2014

Just wanted to give you big creepy Internet hugs.

Please talk to your doctor about how you are feeling. Don't hide it. You are not a horrible person. Pregnancy is rough on the body and effects brain chemicals too! It is not your fault and it is not any kind of weakness or failing on your part. Hang in there mama!

murphyame · July 2014

Although I hate to see someone else feel this way, I am glad I am not the only one. Thanks for all the sweet words and great advise.

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