STMs: What Did You Say?

bumpuser10199668 · July 2014

So, I was talking to my mom on the phone about labor and all of the things that she said to my dad during the most painful moments. You know, the classics of "Come here, no don't touch me. " "You're never touching me again!" etc.

I'm just wondering, did you say anything terrible funny, sweet, or awful to your H during labor? If so, share!

Barefoot84 · July 2014

I don't recall saying anything special to H specifically. However, he almost died of embarrassment when I yelled out "I want my Daddy, I want my Daddy" like a six year old girl, and later when I yelled at the nurse "It feels like a [insert explicit language here] lion is chewing on my vagina. Make it stop!!" We're in a big city hospital and I could hear different women laboring in nearby rooms. I'm sure I terrorized a few of them who were in earlier stages of labor.

BTW, from what I gathered afterwards by talking with friends, most women don't have the sensation I had in my vagina, so please don't be scared. I think it would have been much more bearable if I had been able to move and simply change the baby's position. Unfortunately, the epidural had me basically paralyzed. Aiming for a natural birth this time, because I don't think it could get more painful than it did last time, and I think it will be a much better experience.

LTMama · July 2014

I was pretty chill, according to dh. No funny stories to report, sadly. The epidural was good to me!

Jenner37 · July 2014

I don't recall saying anything specific I just know that we were just having a casual conversation, drugs are my friend

bumpuser10199668 · July 2014

Barefoot84 said:

I don't recall saying anything special to H specifically. However, he almost died of embarrassment when I yelled out "I want my Daddy, I want my Daddy" like a six year old girl, and later when I yelled at the nurse "It feels like a [insert explicit language here] lion is chewing on my vagina. Make it stop!!" We're in a big city hospital and I could hear different women laboring in nearby rooms. I'm sure I terrorized a few of them who were in earlier stages of labor.

BTW, from what I gathered afterwards by talking with friends, most women don't have the sensation I had in my vagina, so please don't be scared. I think it would have been much more bearable if I had been able to move and simply change the baby's position. Unfortunately, the epidural had me basically paralyzed. Aiming for a natural birth this time, because I don't think it could get more painful than it did last time, and I think it will be a much better experience.

This was great hahahaha. Also, thank you for the disclaimer!

suitern · July 2014

I remember yelling at him we are never doing this again after 3.5 hours of pushing...yet here we are. I was also just generally annoyed with him because he was so excited when I started pushing, but I knew it would be a while before he came out!

portentosa · July 2014

The only funny things I said were when the OB finally showed up after I was in a holding pattern at +2 for a half hour I said, "Thank God." and when they announced DS was a boy I said, "Everyone was right!" because every woman that saw me in third tri said I was carrying like I had a boy in there.

biokitty42 · July 2014

SingSoftKitty said:

The only thing I ever said while in labor was "I can't do this, I can't do this" while I was pushing. I honestly believed I could not push him out and actually almost didn't.

You are my labor twin. That is all I remember saying while pushing, over and over and over. "I can't. I can't!"

Djcieply · July 2014

I dont remember me saying anything to him. He really didnt bother me very much, but I know I gave him some crazy looks, I remember while I was pushing my Dr was telling to keep my hips down apparently I was lifting them up or something idk, but I know I gave him the "Im going to kick her in the face if she says that again" look. Oh and my Dr had to use the vacuum on DS and he had so much hair that it popped off when she started to use it, all I saw/heard was a splat of fluid fling all over DH's face and gave him another look like "OMG WTF was that!!!" I also couldnt have my glasses on because I had oxygen on so I could literally see nothing that was going on.

bumpuser10199668 · July 2014

zoeyy said:

I had no sleep in over 24hrs and apparently it was making me crazy. The room had those Anne Geddes baby pictures hanging up and I told him to take them down because they were mocking me. (?!) I do not recall any of this but was persistent so he took them off the wall. During pushing I was falling asleep and they had to keep waking me up when I had a contraction so no crazy stories there.

bardini · July 2014

I was so dehydrated but hungry just before pushing. My H gave me Ritz crackers & my mouth was so dry i couldn't get them down. I looked at H and said (ok, yelled) "what the fuck is wrong with these things" He looked me like- i don't know, i didn't make them but i'm scared.

MrsLaLaBug · July 2014

I remember very distinctly right after I delivered just sortof laying back and taking a deep breath like "wow, that was it? That wasn't so bad!" I scanned the room - nurses had DD and were weighing her, she was fine. Looked at DH, he was grinning ear to ear, he was fine. Looked down at my dr who was prepping me for stitches and it suddenly hit me. And the first thing that came out of my mouth?
"Ok so real talk - and be honest - was it a complete blowout or what?"
The nurses DIED. My dr just chuckled at me and said it would be completely fine. I think DH wanted to crawl under the bed bc the next comment I offered was that "I just want to know the truth since I plan on using it again, you know!" But it was just a great moment and nice to have a good laugh after all was said and done.

aliciak316 · July 2014

Haha I love this thread! I remember asking if she had hair, I had such bad heartburn and everyone kept telling me how much hair she would and that's all I could think of at the moment. (She was bald till about 18 monthes

) then I remember begging for a c section because I didn't think I could do it, the doctor and my husband had to calmly tell me I was past that point since her head was already out.

Irisheyes1247 · July 2014

I had a lot of these thoughts to myself, but I tend to clam up so I wasn't saying any of them. With my first, we had called the dr and they said to come to the office and they'd check me. Well, I arrived in transition and was crowning by the time the dr checked me, so we ambulance'd it over to the ER. I was doing the "hee-hee-hoo" breathing with a nurse so my mouth was so dry, and an ER nurse brought me a glass of water and I could have open mouth kissed her at that point. If the numbing meds for stitches had taken, I probably would have made a crack about "stitching me up tight" but all I could manage was a whimper.

HOWEVER, after DD1 was born, it took all of an hour for me to say, "We could do this again." And then DH was holding her once we got to a room and then handed her back and when I asked why, he said it was because his arm was hurting. When I looked at him, he said, "Well I WAS holding your leg all that time." If looks could kill...

Bella2425 · July 2014

I pushed for over 3 hours. I mostly kept apologizing for taking so long. At one point I remember saying "I wish I would have kept working out" because I was so exhausted. Then toward the end when the nurses kept telling me "he's almost out" I accused them all of being liars!

ashaw512 · July 2014

We'll I wasn't allowed to eat and craving donuts so DH told me if I gave him a baby that day he would bring me some and I told him he better bring me some after all the 12 hours of labor and 2 epis. I also said if never eat a purple Popsicle again bc it was the first and only thing I had eaten after 16 hours when they whisked me off to emergency c-section (I had only eaten half of it and I think I threw it at the trash can on the other side of the room before they moved me) then the next morning DH said I was 20 minutes late on delivering his baby so no donuts for me, but he actually brought me one.

Jax2013 · July 2014

Lol. Omg. These stories are hilarious! I had 2 c-sections. So I was pretty doped up. I was actually falling asleep during DD1. DH still gives me grief about it.

amom2four · July 2014

I didn't say much crazy in labor, it was all during the week before. I was having contractions and went to be monitored and walk the halls before being sent home

and my amazing doc gave me an ambien seeing as how I had not slept in days and she was sure the baby was coming within 24 hrs. I was a lunatic after taking that. Really all I remember is getting home and trying to sleep but not being able to and when DH tried to help me get back in bed I tried to physically fight with him and was just talking gibberish. I ended up not sleeping but rather acting like I should have been in a mental hospital and was induced the following week sans sleep. I have been told I'm not allowed to have sleepy meds again.

kaleb87 · July 2014

My craziness came out after dd was born. I went med free but then had a third degree tear so the doctor instantly loaded me up on nubain(?) and I became so loopy. I didn't get to see dd right away because they took her away so quickly. It was a couple minutes before my DH even asked if it was a boy or girl. Anyways I could see the top of her head and my mom and DH have told me that I kept apologizing to her that I am going to be a horrible mom because I suck at doing hair. (My dd was born with a head full of hair. I wasn't expecting that.)
Then when they were stitching me up I completely lost my mind and started crying telling the doctor that January Jones ate her placenta but that I couldn't. I mean I was full hysterics begging the doctor not to make me eat it. I was convinced they weren't going to let me leave without eatting it, I was very out of it. He still brings it up when I see him.
DISCLAIMER: to moms that are planning to eat or encapsulate I support your decision but it just wasn't for me.

cmumama · July 2014

While pushing DS2 out, I swore I was never having another baby.

So much for that...

rlyttle · July 2014

I didn't have any of those crazy moments. I got an epidural at 5 cm, but even before then it was relatively calm. DH knows to give me space and to be quiet. The worst that happened was he would start to "pet" my head and I would just look at him and shake my head. He knew....

MMason12 · July 2014

I can't wait to see what "memories" I make. You ladies have me over here laughing. My poor DH -- I can really see me going either way with him during labor. It's a good thing he loves me!!!

Linz-E · July 2014

The only thing that irritated me was the nurse kept telling me to hold my own legs back and I said I thought I was doing enough work on my own. DH (surprisingly) was just the right combination of sweet and supportive and funny without making me want to punch him in the face.

BabyMayinMarch · July 2014

I honestly dont think I said more than 20 words the entire time. My body just was in go-mode and I had nothing to say.

linnsey26 · July 2014

My OB told my husband to count a little slower for the pushing. He slowed down so much though it was like he was counting in slow motion. I yelled at him "1, 2, 3, 4 you a-hole. Faster!" Then, after 3 hrs and 52 minutes of pushing out an almost 9 lbs baby, while the doc was still stitching me up, he actually said "I think we learned a lot for next time." Everyone in the room turned to stare at him. It is funny now but at the time I could have killed him.

mapchick77 · July 2014

I was so thirsty. I kept saying I wanted a Slurpee and when it was all over I wanted DH to get me a Slurpee. Of course I never actually got said Slurpee and by the next day I had forgotten about it.

bumpuser10199668 · July 2014

@mapchick77 Girl, go get you a slurpee!

haleyjane9 · July 2014

Hahaha! I'm loving these stories!

The drugs were good to me, as well, so my labor was pretty easy and care free! Between pushes, my Dr and I were talking about our hometowns! Haha! I had just a few pushes left when everyone was getting excited and yelling "Just one more push, come on, you can do it, he's almost here" which was driving me crazy and I l asked "Do y'all want to come do this?!!!" Ha! Everyone laughed and baby was here seconds later! That was it, though. Nothing too interesting to share!

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