It's a bfn this cycle :(( sorry long vent

C_Girlie · July 2014

Although AF didn't show up yet I tested with fmu and there wasn't a second line. I have 1,000 thoughts flashing through my mind right now. Of course I'm sad because financially and emotionally this cycle was a roller coaster ride & I was really hoping for a BFP. I want to try another cycle with the RE medicated, but I don't think DH will approve of it. We are in the process of buying our first home and this probably isn't the best time to spend unnecessary money. I call it unnecessary because if it doesn't work (like this cycle) I consider it a waste of money. Yesterday I still had a few symptoms but I was still uncertain. This morning I didn't have sore boobs anymore and my temps took a nose dive (still above my cover line), so AF is certainly on her way. What a nice early birthday gift a bfn, my b-day is on Thursday

. Anyway in the mean time I'm gonna strongly urged DH to see a urologist. He suffers from very low morphology 1% and when he had his s/a they said he had some white blood cells in his specimen. That can be a sign of an infection.

Now this is the part when I question what my RE doctor associate recommended. When I had my cd11 (Monday) blood work & sono I had 3 mature follies 21,21,20 & one smaller at 16. He suggested that I test using the OPK's then when I get the + the following day do the iui. I now wonder why they didn't do a trigger shot so we could determine O better? My follies were mature enough, why wait. But at the time who am I to question a doctor that specializes in fertility? I did OPK's twice a day morning/evening. I got my first + cd13 (Wednesday) evening. We bd that night. On cd15 (Friday) that's when they recommended the iui. I thought that was too late & I did question the nurse about it. But they reassured me that it would still he enough time. That Friday morning DH couldn't produce. Some of you probably can recall that story. So I had to wait a few more hours till his lunch break when he was finally able to produce . I O that day (ff confirmed it with the temps), but I'm not sure if I missed the window when I had the iui done. DH count was 6 mill. post wash (which isn't great nor awful. This is why during my 2ww I kept saying I was doubtful, I felt I didn't have the best chances. So I will be at a stand still until DH can fix his problems with his swimmers. We're still gonna TTC but with both of our issues a BFP isn't gonna happen the natural way.

Thx to all that took the time to read my novel

supersarah77 · July 2014

Crap, that's really tough. You hold your breath and get your hopes up even if you don't want to. Don't say it's a waste of money. If you knew ahead of time it would take three tries you wouldn't call the first two a waste. But I get it, you're just frustrated and hurting. ((Hugs))

hooligans4 · July 2014

Big hugs to you @C_Girlie.
I think DH seeing the urologist before you go for IUI #2 is a good idea.
When you do decide to do IUI again tell them you want the trigger shot so thete is no guessing. Make them inderstand that you have limited funds for this and need all the help you can get.
But it does stink that you got a bfn. I hate those!!!!!!

kelley72 · July 2014

C_Girlie I'm so sorry for the neg. The others have given you great suggestions. I wish you well and a big that sucks deep breath and exhale. Happy birthday and congrats on your new home- that is fun!

C_Girlie · July 2014

Thx for the support @IFinTN‌ @supersarah77‌ @hooligans4‌ & @kelley72‌. Yes I knew ahead of time most people do it several times before success. But I was looking for that home run first up at bat. I will be 38 & my RE said that he still considers that young. He said a lit of ladies come to him well into their 40's. But my amh level was 3.3. I'm not 100% what that means. He said considering my age it's in range.

lgsdesigner · July 2014

I am so sorry. Honestly— it sounds to me like a lot of the issue is the sperm and not necessarily the IUI process. If he had white blood cells present, it is definitely a sign that something is off, and he needs to get to the urologist asap. There is no reason to keep getting BFN after BFN when it seems to me it’s something that can be fixed with your DH to possibly become pregnant. I’m not putting all the blame on him, but…good health is vital for a pregnancy to occur.

Again, I am really sorry, and I wish you well the next time you two decide to try again.

(((hugs)))

C_Girlie · July 2014

@lgsdesigner‌ we knew about the low morphology. He had his first s/a in December. I'm not sure of the percentage & they never mention white blood cells in the specimen. I changed RE because I didn't like the doctor. He lacked bed-side manors and was very pushy recommending ivf and iui before he did any investigation as to why were having trouble TTC on my end. Since I changed RE's I now know what my diagnosis is. When I finally do O it's an immature egg & I suffer from a shortened LP. This cycle my body really did what the clomid was prescribed for. DH submitted another s/a when I was currently taking the clomid. Thats when i found out his numbers. So basically DH & myself have fertility issues. We're still gonna TTC the natural way. Then after he follows up with the urologist we will make the next decision. Thx for ur support

TAT2MAMI · July 2014

@C_Girlie - Soo sorry about your BFN! I hope you're able to still enjoy your birthday! My mom's birthday is also on 7/10.

.. Definitely have your DH see the urologist. I hope it's an easy fix. I wish you the very best!

Davie813 · July 2014

Oh no, I'm so sorry.

I really hope DH come around about trying again, and that you get some good answers at the urologist's.

C_Girlie · July 2014

@TAT2MAMI‌ I hope it's a quick fix too, cause I'm not getting any younger & my eggs aren't getting better. @Davie813‌ deep down inside he wants another child too. I just hope he doesn't give up cause of the costs.

marijaa333 · July 2014

Good luck, I do hope you look into his issues quickly too!

URMySunshine77 · July 2014

I'm sorry to see this, @C_Girlie. If you do get a BFN, I hope that your H is on board for an IUI in the future.

C_Girlie · July 2014

@URMySunshine77‌ thx, I think he will. He says I'm spoiled so if I'm "so spoiled" lets see if I can charm him

thirtyninetoforty · July 2014

So sorry!!! I would def do the trigger next time. Wishing you the best!!

meredithcarole · July 2014

Sorry @C_Girlie‌

happy early birthday, though.

C_Girlie · July 2014

Dh is still holding onto hope. He said "sometimes those test are wrong & if u didnt get AF yet then were still in it". That's so true, I tested yesterday at 11dpiui. My boobs are sore again and my temp went back up. Lol until/if AF finally shows up my body is going to do wicked things to me so I can remain confused, ugh

mdogan29 · July 2014

Hey @C_Girlie, sorry to hear about all the frustration! I wanted to let you know my AMH is 0.4 and doctor was still positive (I'm 37), she said it's lower than she'd like to see, but not to worry yet, so 3.3 is awesome compared to that! There is a positive piece to the puzzle! Oooh! Maybe there's still a chance, keep us updated! The 2WW is definitely maddening!

Hope you have a wonderful birthday!

Hollowvic · July 2014

@C_Girlie‌ I have so much in common with you it's not even funny. That's the reason I skipped my IUI this month. I felt that almost 48 hours after a positive OPK was just too late. Of course the chance was there but we're paying OOP and I would rather do the IUI closer to a positive OPK. We did TI but really I highly doubt it worked, I hate to be so negative but I can't help it. I'm on my poor DH's back about what he eats and what he drinks, I'm tired of listening to myself. Meanwhile his pothead brother had no problem knocking up his girlfriend, just venting but I feel your pain and it sucks!

danieleandwayne · July 2014

I would totally have DH go to see the urologist. I'd also do a follow-up with the RE and get your questions answered about the lack of trigger. As a nurse, I am ALWAYS telling patients that is not just their right, but also their responsibility to themselves, to question the doctor. I know they're not always approachable and we put them in an Ivory Tower of sorts, but it is called "practicing" medicine for a reason. I think you might feel way better after discussing the trigger issue with him so that when you move forward, you won't feel like you're throwing good money at the process and then having any doubts.

Let us know what the urologist says about DH!

kindershlitz · July 2014

I'm sorry for the BFN, I hope your DH gets on board and gets checked out too.

Congrats on the new home! though that's a stressful process too!

C_Girlie · July 2014

@Hollowvic‌ I also have a brother like yours brother in law. My brother is a real winner he can't keep a job, he's an alcoholic, he used coke in the past & he has no prob knocking up the girls he's with, smh. He has healthy sperm with all that he does. My DH never smoked drinks occasionally and has sperm issues. A few months ago i bought him some supplements to take that tgey say helps with low morphology. Uhmmm I can count on two hands how many times he took them. So him going to the urologist is sort if like a punishment, cause he gates doctors. My insurance pays nothing towards fertility. So we are 100% oop. The cheapest package deal at my RE is for monitoring $995, iui & pregnancy test is free. If u don't want an iui it's still gonna be $995. The trigger is an additional $75. I paid the money and even if the iui was too late we did it. But we did manage to bd one day before O. @danielandwayne oh I'm definitely gonna question that decision as to why they didn't suggest a trigger shot. If only I can rewind the time and do it all again. @kindershlitz‌ sorry I worded that wrong were house hunting. I wouldn't say it's stressful yet, but definitely a lot to absorb.

Usually AF arrives on cd25, today is cd27, but I used clomid this cycle. When I used clomid in the past it prolonged my cycle by two days. AF is late but I got a bfn yesterday 11dpiui.

Once again thank you all for the support & suggestions

Fredifer1115 · July 2014

Oh, @C_Girlie‌, so sorry to hear about the BFN

. I'm still waiting, 6dpiui with trigger. I'm over analyzing every little pinch, ache, cramp, etc., but steering clear of HPT. They're not 100% so just letting nature give me my results. I'm cd25, with my stupid irregular AF predicted on cd33. Just 9 more days to wait! Yea, like I won't have a bald spot by then. I'm not overly hopeful. I can't imagine this battle ends as easily as one IUI for me. I just don't know what my next steps are. Do I try IUI again? RE isn't optimistic about my chances with such a high FSH (last month was 43, month before 24). But he also didn't think I would respond to clomid, which I did by producing 3 follies, 2 of which matured. We've already had our IVF class, but I have a change of heart (I think) with the clomid response. And IUI is covered by my insurance, and a $10000 coverage for IVF, which means only one cycle. But what if I'm 'wasting' good eggs on IUI? Ugh I'm so confused. I really don't know what to do. If anyone has any advice I'd love to hear it.

C_Girlie · July 2014

If this month is a bust I'd say go for another iui. I'm so jealous that ur insurance covers ur treatments

Fredifer1115 · July 2014

Thank god mine does. DH's covers nothing! Don't worry, I'm jealous of a friend whose insurance covers 100% lifetime IVF. There's always going to be someone with a little more. More reason to hope our stays here are short

kindershlitz · July 2014

@C_Girlie- hopefully the shopping for a home experience is a good distraction.

I hope you are having a happy birthday today and doing something fun!

Fredifer1115 · July 2014

Happy Birthday, C_Girlie!

C_Girlie · July 2014

Thank you so muck @kindershlitz. So far my birthday is ok, a little depressing but I shall be ok. Tmow & the wknd more house hunting

Davie813 · July 2014

Happy birthday, @C_Girlie! I'm sorry it hasn't been great, with the bfn.

I hope the house-hunting goes well!

C_Girlie · July 2014

Still no AF but this morning my temps finally dipped below the cover line. When that happens AF shows up the following day. I know I'm not preg but I'm gonna get the blood test done today anyway. Also in the next few days I'm going to have a consolation with my RE concerning his associates dropping the ball. I feel they misguided me and pretty much gave me no shot to conceive this cycle. The fact that a trigger was NEVER suggested I feel like that's where the ball was dropped. If only I can go bk and do this cycle again the timing of the iui would've been better. I'm so upset every time I think about that I want to cry.

C_Girlie · July 2014

I'm an emotional mess. After I wrote the last post I kept thinking about it. Then I decided to call and cancel my blood test. I couldn't control my emotions. I had to leave work early, went to my boss & told her that I'm dealing with personal issues and needed to leave. She knew I wasn't faking cause as I was telling her I needed to leave buckets of tears were falling out of my eyes. So I came home DH is still there he has been very supportive to me through this process. He knows I'm hurting but said I'm extra hormonal due to the clomid. This past week everything made me cry, what a big baby I've become.

marijaa333 · July 2014

I've cried over the fact a coffee shop didn't have cream cheese to go with my bagel, and that was just PMS in my early 20s. Give yourself a break, the hormones are kicking your butt. You're allowed to cry. You're certainly allowed to cancel a bloodwork appointment which can easily be rebooked if needed (actually, you did pretty well in the rational department by canceling in advance as opposed to just not showing up!!).

GIANT INTERNET HUG!

Davie813 · July 2014

I'm so sorry, C_Girlie. I'm glad you're taking the day off to rest--please be nice to yourself today. I'm also glad you're going to talk to the clinic. I hope they can get their act together, and you can try again and get your bfp. Big, big hugs to you.

kindershlitz · July 2014

I'm sorry @C_Girlie‌ it's good you got to take some time and be with DH. You have every right to be emotional. Virtual hugs to you both

URMySunshine77 · July 2014

I'm so sorry, C_Girlie! I hope that the RE can give you the support you deserve.

Sending you a bear hug.

C_Girlie · July 2014

Thx ladies. We all share the same dream & that's to get pg & have a baby. I question myself as to what did I do wrong in life that I can't get what I desire? I can't help but to feel sorry for myself. Yes I know crying wont help the situation, but that's the only thing that makes me feel slightly better. DH said he will go with me to the visit on Tuesday with the RE. He doesn't really understand the timing issue and why I'm upset about the trigger shot mishap. He's in agreement with a visit to a urologist to see what can be done with his swimmers. I've fallen in love with him even more, he's been very supportive

TAT2MAMI · July 2014

Don't beat yourself up @C_Girlie. It's normal to feel emotional about this. It's a damn rollercoaster! Big hugs to you. I'm so sorry. I agree that you should speak to your RE about how you feel things were handled incorrectly. I hope you're able to have a nice weekend!

marijaa333 · July 2014

C_Girlie said:

I've fallen in love with him even more, he's been very supportive

That is super sweet. Hang in there, you'll come through this together.

C_Girlie · July 2014

What a difference a day makes. I feel soooo much better today. Trying to stay off of Facebook for a few days. Don't really want/need to see pic's of pg bellys & babies.

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It's a bfn this cycle :(( sorry long vent

Re: It's a bfn this cycle :(( sorry long vent

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