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megrae12 · July 2014

Welcome to the Bible Study Check-In. This check-in currently runs 2 times a week on Mondays and Thursdays. Mondays are our in-depth study. Thursdays are our check-in day. If you cannot get int touch with your prayer partner please PM @MrsG80inTN @megrae12 and we will assign you a new one.

This is a list of the current prayer partners. Please respond to your prayer partner's post and/or communicate via PM:

@littlecookie & @megrae12

@MrsG80inTN & @mara005

@graceanne927 & @mcnsher062

***House keeping Note: If you need a prayer partner please PM me and let me know I will assign you!!****

I am loving this Infertility Bible Study! This week's profile is Leah. She went through secondary infertility. She bore four sons then was unable to conceive again. The study says that Leah was not forgotten, no, God had a plan for her. He heard her cries, her prayers, the longing of her heart. Each week, the study gives us a takeaway. I want to quote it for you today.

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kath16 · July 2014

megrae12 for getting this started today

megrae12 and others) i have a question for you all and also an explanation about why i haven't been around as much

lately i feel as though I have been struggling with being content with where God has placed me. I have a great husband, a great marriage, a nice home and a cool step-daughter. I am actively working on loving where I am in my life stage and not wishing it away by saying "oh it will be better / complete if / when I get pregnant" or something similar.

this was triggered by a study that we're doing in my church on the book "Resolution for Women". One of the first chapters addresses this specifically, and I honestly do feel that my own desire to become pregnant is hindering my appreciation of the time that my H and I have just the two of us. We haven't been married that long, so why not enjoy where we are in life?

Have any of you ladies dealt with a similar struggle? And how have you managed it while TTC?

Honestly? I have managed it by taking a giant step back and evaluating WHY I want so badly to conceive like, yesterday. So ... that's kind of why I have been much less active on the boards than I was while pregnant and immediately following my loss.

Again I'm so sorry to threadjack. I didn't want to start a new thread b/c I'm really interested in what my fellow sisters in Christ think about this.

megrae12 · July 2014

@kath16 You ask a valid question and one I am sure many of us have and are still asking. I will give you my story. H and I have not even been married two yet (August is two years). Two weeks after we were married, it was discovered I had dermoid tumor in my right ovary. I was rushed into surgery where a baseball sized dermoid was taken out of my right ovary and stage 2 endo was discovered. We weren't even sure that we could save the ovary, so the fact I have it is a huge blessing. At my follow up visit, my doc said if we wanted children it was now or never. Let me say that I had a plan when we first got married, I wanted us to enjoy each other. I had a "five year" plan. Instead, I got get pg or you never will. Not what you want to hear.

I dunno your whole history, how old you are, etc. I can say for me, I needed to TTC right away. Of course, that has brought on a whole new area of trepidation and faith crises for me, but it was the right move for us. All I can say, is keep your communication open. If you are wanting to TTC, talk to your H about what you are dealing with. I also journal, it helps. I go back and reread my old entries before writing my new one. It helps to see where I was, where I am and keeps me on target to where I want to be. Does that make sense? Write it down, talk to your H and as always, I am here if you need to talk. I hope that was in some way helpful, it was certainly long-winded! I will be praying for you, ok?

MrsG80inTN · July 2014

Just wanted to tell you all that I'm lifting you up in prayer and so appreciate your hearts. I've had a crazy day at work and may not be able to weigh in like I'd like to, but I will.

megrae12 · July 2014

I am asking for prayers please. My mom is still in the hospital and she had to be scoped today b/c her blood count is low. They found she has more ulcers on her stomach than they could count. They biopsied some and we are now waiting for results. I am praying it's not cancer. Please lift her up in your prayers and please pray that her pneumonia did not get aggravated by them putting her to sleep today. Basically, I am overwhelmed. Love you ladies, and thanks for your prayers.

littlecookie · July 2014

Hi ladies!!

@kath16 I think you raised a great topic. I've talked to megrae12 a lot about struggling with hearing God's voice and knowing when to move. I felt a lot of urgency to try again after my first loss. I felt that way at first this time, but I've slowly begun to feel like I can rely on him to show me when is the right time to really step on the gas. Part of it this time is that I've had no choice with lingering betas. I've come to be grateful for this time when it was completely out of my hands.

I'm praying for each of you and appreciate this group so much!

mara005 · July 2014

@megrae12 prayers for you mother and many ((hugs))

***child warning**
As for the study, I am a part of the secondary infertility community (despite being pregnant twice since my son). I know the hurt is different from those without children but it is still very hard. It is said that God wants us to have as many children as we desire and if we ask for them we shall be blessed. I feel like I'm constantly asking for a baby, but Leah's story shows that it's ok to keep asking and that he is hearing me and will bless me someday.

@kath16 Reading your questions made me think, I had a therapy appointment last night and we talked about my obsessing thoughts about TTC. Thinking about life if I hadn't had losses, how much I want to be KU, feeling bad about my life because I'm not, etc. Among other things she said that I need to learn to be ok with the life I have and accepting that I may not get pregnant again. It will be a fine balance of being happy with my life while still working towards getting pregnant. While it's only been 1 day since she told me that, it has helped me today. And ((HUGS))

mara005 · July 2014

@daisyblue0627 definitely not in this check in, but unfortunately on the main board there are some who feel I should be happy that I was blessed with a child and I can't be sad because I have him to focus on.

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