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Toddlers: 24 Months+
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Scared of new people

takmjstakmjs member
in Toddlers: 24 Months+
My daughter is very shy, especially around new people. What I'm most concerned about is visiting the dermatologist today for some bumps she has on her stomach, and a newly developed rash (may be heat rash). She is ok if we're around new people and just sits quietly, but she will not say a word if someone else is around or if they ask her a question, but she will not let them touch her at all. She doesn't even like me to look at the bumps on her stomach, even though she tells me that they don't hurt. When we went to see her clubfoot doctor, he obviously needed to touch her feet and manipulate them a little to see their flexibility, and she flipped out. Full-out screaming and flipping her body over and flailing so you can't do anything to/with her. She does the same thing with me if I try to do the nose "booger sucker" or take her temperature (and I even have one of those ones you hold against their temple for a few seconds) or anything slightly intrusive.

I've tried to talk to her the last several days about our appointment today, and I tried to take her temperature last night b/c the doctor will likely want to do the ear thermometer on her today. We approached it very calmly and slowly. I did it to myself, we did it to her doll, she held it herself, but the second I tried to actually take her temperature, Bam! Flip out screaming and flailing time! She seems to be warming up to the idea of seeing a doctor and that they're going to need to look at her belly and her back (where her rash and bumps are), but once we get there, I'm sure the waiting room will wonder what abuse is going on back in the office.

I don't know what her fear is or how to help her get over it, since it's not about any pain/hurting. Any suggestions? Please help!
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Re: Scared of new people

  • takmjstakmjs member
    Thank you so much that my daughter is not too far out of normal. She doesn't go to daycare, so I feel like she's not nearly as social as she should be or as I'd like her to be--not that I want her going up to strangers or anything. She is 2 1/2 years old now.
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  • TiffanyBerryTiffanyBerry member
    My daughter is much like this - she's a introvert, and a strong one.  And she's been going to preschool for two years now.  2 1/2 was a pretty tough time for this stuff.

    It's not wrong of her to be this way, and it *does* mentally "pain" her (distress), because she doesn't have the internal coping skills to deal with something that discomforts her so much.  It will just take a lot of time for her to learn them (years).  Do what you can to help her through, validate her feelings, and ask her to talk (to you) about them as much as you can.  Sometimes, it would help if I could be a "translator" for her - she would whisper into my ear the response for the person (like the doctor) and I would relay that, word for word, to the doctor.

    I'd encourage you to read up on introversion, see if you think it fits, and try to gear her day so that she's as mentally settled and prepared for this appointment as possible.  (For us, that would mean not scheduling anything else that day and chilling at home without much responsibility, but a little bit of structure.)
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