Need some advice, input, etc...

Re: Need some advice, input, etc...

• BabyHope2013 member

  July 2014

  We are in the same situation right now. Unless I can get a promotion it barely makes sense for me to work. Basically almost everything that I am making would go right back into daycare costs for two kids. A part of me would love to stay home---but I also enjoy working. I am also fearful about getting back in the work force if I were to leave for say 5 years. We are also factoring in the fact that my benefits are amazing compared to DH---which is another reason why I will likely remain working. And I would be giving up contributing to my retirement if I were to quit. In addition, DS really loves going to daycare, he is developing friendships and loves the energy of being around all the other kids and having so many activities to do. 

  
  

  At this point, I think we are leaning towards spacing our next kid about three years apart from our first. Then we will only have daycare for two years overlapping. By then, we might consider getting a nanny to watch both kids since our oldest would be going into kindergarten and only need half days for him, unless I can get him in all-day kindergarten. I feel like I will be further ahead in my career long-term and will be able to provide better for my family better working than I would if I stayed at home. Still staying at home is appealing some days---but I always hear that the grass is greener on the other side. 

  
  

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• Virgo17 member

  July 2014

  I think it depends on what you want to do.  If you enjoy working, then continue to do so.  The daycare costs are temporary, but stepping out of the workforce for 5 years can make it difficult to re-enter.

  
  

  And PLEASE do not calculate childcare costs based on your income alone.  It is not the sole responsibility of the mother to provide for those costs.  Look at your household income, benefits, retirement, etc. and decide what makes sense.  But again, if you enjoy working, unless it is actually costing money at the end of the day, then you should keep doing it.  If you want to stay home and can make that work, then go for it!

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• vvvvvfee member

  July 2014

  yes, this is exactly our situation, unfortunately. DH and i were thinking we would like to try for a 2nd once DS turns 2. i would like to stay home for a couple of years, but if i did, things would be extremely tight (and possibly not even workable given DH's student loans). on the other hand, if we had 2 in F/T daycare, basically 50% of our take-home pay would be going towards that. we are also on my health plan, which is better than DH's, plus i'd be nervous about losing the money i'd be putting towards retirement. my ideal situation would be to work part-time, but i think i'd basically be working just to cover the cost of daycare, so it seems sort of pointless when the kid(s) are preschool age. i guess our current plan is to forge ahead and hope it all works itself out. DH is looking for a new job, which would hopefully pay more and might make the staying home option more viable.
  
  i could think in circles about the whole thing for hours- none of the options are really ideal. (and then i start thinking about how things could be so much better/more supportive for moms and families in the u.s. and i get really ticked off.)
  
  

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• lorist202 member

  July 2014 edited July 2014

  MommaHen1984 said:

  DS will be turning  2 in a few months. My husband and I both agree we want another child but I keep putting it off, thinking about how much money we will be forking out for daycare for two kids full time! I We both work full-time and together generate a decent income. As much as I would LOVE to stay home, his income alone might just cover our bills and expenses but it would be really really tight if at all possible. Then again, if I were to stay home, there's an extra chunk for nobody being in daycare but I would lose my income. I am pretty torn between this. Any other moms been in a similar situation?

  I'm in this situation right now.  I'll be returning to work p/t (approx. 20 hrs), and every bit of my income will be for daycare expenses.  I will suck it up for a year until DD turns 1 and then I will return to f/t.  This job provides great opportunities for growth and advancement in every way, so it's worth it to me to stick it out.
  
  To the contrary, when DS was born in 2011, I left my job and never looked back.  My intention was to stay home for a year, but I couldn't find a job in my industry until DS was 20 mos. old.  When I did, I took a huge pay cut to get my title back and my foot back in the door.  After a year of unstable temp jobs, I finally landed in my current position. 
  
  

  

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• MommaHen1984 member

  July 2014

  Thanks everyone for the input- Extremely helpful! My husband carries the medical benefits but I do have a 401K and other benefits ( cell phone discount, entertainment discounts, etc.) with my company. like the PP poster said, I was looking at the short-term aspects rather than long term. By the time I would even have another baby, DS would be getting ready for preschool. And not to mention both my husband and I would most likely have a salary increase. I would like to stay home of course, but I am pretty happy in my current job. I got very lucky with an employer who is very flexible and easygoing so I guess I have found my answer!

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• lifeinthedreamhouse member

  July 2014

  Everyone had great advice. I would also suggest looking at nannies and in home daycares. Can you change your schedule or your h's schedule so you can get creative with daycare? When I got pregnant with #2 I almost had a heart attack when we looked at full time center daycares for two kids. But I work early and get off early and h works late so we really only needed daycare for a handful of hours in the middle if the day. We were lucky enough to find an in home daycare with flexible part time schedules and that made it affordable. It was important for us to have the kids close in age and we both still needed to work. Just keeping looking until you find what works for you.

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• lexusolsen member

  July 2014

  I got laid off when dd was born and stayed at home for a year. I'm glad I did it because I thought that's what I would want. It wasn't.
  
  Another thing to consider is that being a SAHM isn't cheap. I didn't actually stay at home because I would go crazy. There are some free things to do (like the park or library story time) but that's not enough stimulation for you and a toddler. Even cheap classes at the rec center add up quickly.
  
  You also need to consider increased electricity usage and gas. You might need more clothes if you aren't wearing your professional wardrobe anymore. Your house will get messier too since you will be home more often.
  
  Just a little insight from someone who has btdt.
  

  

  
  

  
  

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