Help! 3 year old and discipline? -repost-

ChelsiAnn13 · July 2014

-repost from 24 month + -

My daughter turns 3 August 20th and she is a tiny version of me, attitude and all. Talk about karma. Anyways I don't know what is the best form of discipline.

** How do you discipline your 3 year old? How do you discipline in public?

And since this is probably, partially, a phase do I handle it differently?**

More detail:

I try and give her choices. For example she has to get ready for bed and change into pajamas. I know she won't want to so I tell her to go pick out her pajamas Instead of even asking if she wants to. So she still feels she has a choice. Or in an attempt to pick and chose my battles we will practice compromises (she knows what that word means) on issues that aren't worth the fight.

Lately she has been whining a ton more, fighting over making choices, starting to hit, whining some more and fighting every little thing (even when she there is nothing to argue about she seems to find something to whine/argue/ be upset about). She will talk back and even say things like "dont talk to me" or snapping "dont touch me" or "dont push me" if anyone even tries to guide her or stroke her head or anything. You could just brush her arm and there is a chance she will snap at you with her sassy mouth. She is also fighting to get ready to go places a lot. She will play around/ procrastinate a lot too. Tiny things seem to upset her.

If I walk away for any reason, even because I am about to snap, she freaks out/ freaks out more . So I know some of her tantrums are about wanting my attention.

What I have been doing:

I have been using time outs. I have also threatened not to go places or do things , but more often then not she eventually (eventually being a key word) does what ever needs to be done or I have said it in a moment of desperation/ anger and we don't have a choice but to go. So I'm not following through.
I haven't been following through on time outs like I should always either. It seems I keep giving her second chances so I know my consistency is a big problem.

It's like any and all patience I have ever had is just gone so I am not helping the situation either.

I believe I'm not being consistent because I have some sort of doubts about if the way I'm disciplining is the right choice, especially when she is having a melt down during a time out while in public. I also have a hard time hearing/ seeing her upset but I know I can suck that up for her own good if I believe in what I am doing.

TIA!! I am getting desperate and I had the worst mommy moment to date a few days ago, it's time I turned to the bump for some guidance. Lol

Soxgirl07 · July 2014

I kind of feel like you answered your own question in here. I think consistency and meaning what you say are both essential. If I say something, I follow through, even if it sucks for me.

If he's doing something he shouldn't, I give a warning and tell him a consequence, usually time outs or more frequently taking away a toy/activity. Then if he doesn't stop, the consequence happens.

Even with little things, I'm really careful to say what I mean. For example, if I say I'm reading 2 bedtime stories you are NOT getting me to read a 3rd. If I do change my mind, for instance we have these tiny little Mickey books, I explain my reasoning to him, "ok, I'll read an extra book because you picked 2 tiny Mickey books."

DH agrees in theory but isn't great with the follow through, especially in the little things. It's already apparent that DS (3) takes instructions from me more seriously.

angelashly · July 2014

Basically ditto @CTGirl30‌

Then I drink after bedtime

ChelsiAnn13 · July 2014

Thank you everyone! I have never had a problem with consistency before. But we live with my parents and I have been battling different parenting methods so I think I started to doubt myself.

I will for sure look at those links!

Want a personalized experience?

Help! 3 year old and discipline? -repost-

Re: Help! 3 year old and discipline? -repost-

Choose Another Board

Search Boards