Sex?

spazzz333 · July 2014

I am just a lurker and I have gone back 15 pages and haven't seen this question asked.
I had a mc in January, started spotting on a Saturday after having sex on Friday night. Mc on Sunday morning. Last week got my positive, now I am scared to have sex. In my head I know that one has nothing to do with the other but I can't get past it.
Now I know that I am crazy but is this in anyway normal to feel this way. Just kinda want some reassurance that I am not alone.

2redtulips · July 2014

Totally normal. I bled after sex before my mc as well, and it was definitely in the back of my mind early on with this pregnancy.

It got better for me with time. I hope that's true for you, too.

Keep talking with your partner about your feelings. If you're not up for intercourse just yet, focus on other ways to be physically close.

carlsonbaby2014 · July 2014

I think you'll find that this is a totally normal fear many of us face being PgAL. My advice is that you need to decide what is right for you based on what feels ok or not and of course if your doc has any concerns, then definitely factor that in.

For us, sex was something I didn't feel comfortable doing regularly until about 12 weeks. We did it very few times before then and it helped build my confidence that physically it would be ok but it also made me SO appreciate clear and honest communication with my H. He wanted to support doing (or not doing) whatever it took to ease my PgAL brain and fears as much as possible.

Also, congrats on this pregnancy welcome to the board

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spazzz333 · July 2014

Thank you so much ladies. My husband totally understands how I feel and why, and is completely understanding. I was just worried that I was being crazy. It is nice to know that I am not alone.

luciddreamer106 · July 2014

You are not alone. I had spotting after sex during my first m/c and was afraid of having sex this time around. Rationally, I know sex won't cause a m/c, but I was also scared of having spotting. I'm glad that YH is understanding. It's totally ok to abstain until you feel ready. I wasn't ready until after I could see that baby was doing ok and even then it's only been a few times.

wendyld · July 2014

My hangups aren't about sex (I had a missed m/c) but I definitely have similar hangups. I know that I didn't cause my miscarriage, but I'm still overly cautious about anything that could even possibly be risky this time around.

smcniff · July 2014

When my MC spotting started, it was right after sex, so I didn't think much of it for the first couple days.

This time around I have had a small amount of spotting over the past 1.5 weeks. I haven't wanted to have sex because I don't want to introduce another cause for spotting. Not to mention the nausea, bloating and fatigue which hasn't made me feel to much like sex for the past several weeks.

lorifromwi · July 2014

I'm reluctant to have sex and I know DH is ready, especially after this past Thursday the doc told us both it's safe. I just physically don't feel like it (bloated, cramps, tired)

MoreThanSparrows08 · July 2014

I started spotting after sex with my last pregnancy, which turned out to be a miscarriage, so I was very apprehensive about sex early on with this pregnancy. It does get easier with time. Just be sure to communicate with your partner so they're not left in the dark as to why you want to wait.

fallfever · July 2014

I, too, had spotting after sex a week before my first m/c. And I miscarried about 24 hours after sex with the 2nd loss. This pregnancy, I was VERY hesitant to have sex. we waited until after my first appt with a good ultrasound to ease my fears. Thankfully my husband was just as scared so there were no issues there. You are not alone.

sgio7485 · July 2014

I'm scared to have sex as well. I'm 12 weeks and I haven't had sex since before my bfp. I feel like a lousy wife, but it makes me nervous (even though my m/c was missed and i never spotted). Poor DH. I kept saying that 12 wks was my "milestone" and would be more comfortable then. We will see.