NICU

zellatrix · July 2014

I need to vent: Having a baby in the NICU kind of sucks. I realize that our situation could be far worst as our little guy is healthy for the most part and won't be in for long. But I only spend about an hour and a half with him a day because of my recovery. I've also been so drowsy that the warm place with all the white noise and holding him just knocks me out every time.

I'm just realizing how much I took for granted my first sons experience. It was so nice to be able to hold him the entire time in my hospital bed.

But, bright side is my recovery is going far better because I got my ass out of bed just two hours after my surgery so I could go see him.

mrscutforth · July 2014

Chin up. It'll get better and you'll have little man home before you know it. Take it from someone who's been there. My DS was in NICU for 11 days. It may not seem like a long time but when you are trying to put together everything every doc and nurse is trying to tell you about your baby on top of making sure you are taking care of yourself as well can get overwhelming. Get the rest you need. Be like me, when I was awake while during my hospital stay I was right next to DS bedside. When I knew I needed to rest I'd go back and rest and pump for DS and do it all over again. When I got released from the hospital and DS had to stay I felt empty and sad because I wanted him home with me. Don't get down on yourself. You have to take care of yourself in order to take care on baby.

SuperTinkerham · July 2014

Hugs hugs hugs. You've been through the wringer physically and emotionally. Let your body rest if it needs it. Hugs.

marsalisails · July 2014

I can't even imagine. Be kind to yourself, and let yourself heal. It doesn't seem like it now, but pretty soon you'll have all your babies home and this will be a distant memory.

As PP said, take care of yourself so that you can take care of them!

nicole336 · July 2014

*hugs*

middleschoolmommy · July 2014

We spent 56 days in the NICU. It was the hardest 2 months of my life. No one can prepare you for the emotional rollercoaster of not having your baby with you, having other people care for them, and losing the experience you imagined having for the last 9 months. Take care of yourself so that, when your LO is ready to come home, you are ready for caring for them. Time is funny in the NICU. It goes so slow, yet so fast all at the same time. *hugs*

SuperTinkerham · July 2014

I've had several friends that had PTSD related issues after baby had long stays in NICU. Please take good care of yourself and if you find you're struggling, it's ok. Find people to talk to. This is definitely not how any of us dreamed it would be.

cakebatter27 · July 2014

I'm sorry @zarkarella‌ . I have no experience but I agree with previous posters. Rest when you can because the baby will be home with you before you know it! ((Hugs)). And don't be afraid to ask for help. You have us and we can only provide so much support.

littlecookiee · July 2014

Thinking of you and your little guy. My advice? Rest, get to know your nurses (they invest in your baby when you invest in them) and write things down.

dobbyisfree · July 2014

I feel like you and I had a very similar situation. They just took Logan up because hes not regulating his sugar properly. It sucks. Thinking of you too ♥

PregsMcSnoozalot · July 2014

Yup, our baby boy was in the NICU for two and a half weeks....far longer than anyone expected for a baby born at 36 weeks!!

It was pretty awful. I stayed at the hospital in one of the special rooms for NICU moms, but at the two week mark I just had to go home....it was too emotionally, physically, and financially draining to stay there. Going home without him was the worst, but I was able to recover much better at home and get last minute things done for his arrival...and I still went to see him every morning and night.

Baby has been home since Tuesday night and it is THE BEST THING EVER. The NICU stay felt like a neverending story, but now that we're home it feels like all that was just a bad dream.

My suggestion is to just do whatever you need to do to make it through until baby is home

I know it's hard...

alyss0nl · July 2014

I know how you feel. I was released from the hospital yesterday and having to leave my little guy in the NICU left a big knot in my stomach. I can only hold him for 30 mins every 3 hours, which doesn't seem like a lot of time. It's also had because DS1 keeps asking when brother will come home. I'm thankful that he is overall healthy and that his bilirubin levels stay where they need to be.

zellatrix · July 2014

His bilirubin level went up to 11, so they had to put him under the light. They changed his IV from just sugar water to something with electrolytes in it. And they are concerned about his feeding. He is not likely going home with me tomorrow, which if it is needed then I understand. The feeding thing is bothering me though. They want him to drink 15ml of formula every 3 hours. I okayed him supplementing because I'd rather him get what he needs than to be hardcore about breastfeeding only... but there is no way he would get 15ml of breastmilk if he was in the well baby nursery. I am still colostrum only because he is only 2 days old. And then they talk about how he must be having trouble feeding if he can't get it all down because he is wasting energy while eating. Well, he is sleepy and warm and cuddled and satiated with half of it... seems to me that is normal. But, if we don't fight him to get down the whole 15ml, they threaten to use a feeding tube.

Now, I get that they know better than me and are the ones who went to school for this stuff... but it bugs me that this is even an issue. My first son was a sleepy eater too and he was full term.

Anyway, I requested my PPD meds (Zoloft) today. I knew I was planning to do that anyway because I had PPD last time and didn't find out until 6 weeks after birth. So, I am getting ahead of it. And I think it's actually kicked in and am starting to feel a little better. But, tomorrow is going to be tough...

I just want to hold my baby and dress him in all the pretty clothes I bought him and try and breastfeed. I just want to sit on the couch and snuggle him all day instead of having to walk down the hallway to just sit next to his warmer for 30-60 minutes at a time. I keep telling myself that it won't last too long and that he is not that bad and I think he will come home in a few days.

The worst part is feeling like I am missing this premium bonding time... bah... thanks for letting me vent and being understanding. I will be so happy when this rollercoaster is over.

Knbh · July 2014

By all means, vent away! I can't imagine how draining, confusing, and plain hard it would be to have to leave your baby in the NICU. I really hope his stay there will fly by and that he'll be healthy and home with his family in no time.

Also, in regards to missing out on bonding time, I have no doubt that all of you will be just as connected as though he never had to be apart from you. I think nature has a way of letting families stay close, even when they have to be separated for a time.

fmb2011 · July 2014

My LOs who've had to stay in the NICU weren't in very long but I wanted to let you know I'll pray the time passes quickly and you can bring Gavin home soon! Hugs!!

abundancenow · July 2014

Congratulations, I think I missed your announcement! So happy for you to have had baby and things sounds relatively well!
My daughter was born @1am just on her 36th week, so we missed mandatory NICU stay by an hour! She also had jaundice, with levels at 15 and there were so many differences with her care that I did not need for my son. It was tough, but it sounds like your situation is even more demanding with hospital care requirements, and I'm sorry you're dealing with that.
I want to offer encouragement and support that this is temporary and soon you will be home with a healthy baby and getting in to a routine with your family.
I also wanted to breastfeed, but the hospital insisted on supplementing and explained burning calories on effort of breast feeding and made me pump. It was so demanding and they had me feeding her the formula with a syringe that seemed like how you feed a bird. Then they gave me this crazy contraption to drip formula from a tiny tube taped to my boob that dripped near my nipple on her mouth as I breast fed. I used it in the hospital, but when I got home, I trashed it and the syringe and supplemented with a bottle with a nipple.
Hang in there! Trust in your care, but know you will be home soon and this is your baby and you will be able to make your own decisions.

reils500 · July 2014

Thinking of you & your little one!

Csltdk · July 2014

Thinking of you @zarkarella‌. My baby is not in the nicu, so I can't say I can completely relate, but she is in the nursery due to the fact I can't physically take care of her. I get her during the day but can only hold her for about 15 minutes before I want to cry in pain.

Hang in there, I know it's not easy you will be able to hold your LO in no time!

SuperKim13 · July 2014

(((HUGS))) I hope he gets to come home soon and this will all be just a distant memory!

zellatrix · July 2014

He opened his eyes and really saw us today. And it just clicked. I was reminded why I have gone through everything I've had to go through. It really felt like a light bulb coming on, and I'm so in love with him. Now to just wait to bring him home and hold him constantly. I am going to spoil him rotten. I may never put him down.

Csltdk · July 2014

He's beautiful!!

brittany&dain · July 2014

I'm sorry! I hope that you're recovery continues to go well and that both of you can go home very soon and you can hold him as long as you want Try to stay positive

alohababy14 · July 2014

I'm so sorry. That sounds so hard. Hugs! He is beautiful!

Shelleybell · July 2014

no advice but hugs coming your way.

ChrisB · July 2014

What a sweetheart! Sorry to hear you are having to go through this. I have no words of wisdom other than to say good luck and hope he is home with you soon!

dobbyisfree · July 2014

I love the wide open eyes!!! Those are my favorite times. And his eyes are so beautiful. Congrats Momma you did good. :-)

mcvgal · July 2014

Hugs, I hope everything gets better for you soon and that his NICU stay is short and uneventful. He is adorable and I am so glad you had that light bulb moment. When DS1 was in the NICU I had no idea when it would end and what it all meant for his future, but now it all seems so long ago. It's amazing how strong babies are.

zellatrix · July 2014

I'm frustrated today. He is staying because he has jaundice and they are upping his feedings. But, they have him at 40mls every 3 hours. If he was a well baby, he wouldn't be eating near that much. And he takes the first 20 in 5 minutes and then gets sleepy for the rest and we have to force it. Then, if he takes too long they start talking about a feeding tube. WTH, he does not need a feeding tube and I'm going to be real unhappy if they put another one in. He's learning how to suck, don't take that away. Plus, his chin is still red from the tape on the last tube that came out Fri night. I need to express these feelings to the doctor, but I feel like he's being held to a much higher standard than a well baby would before sending him/her home.

rattlecanqueen · July 2014

I was right there with you sweetie. My little guy went through the same stuff, except his bilirubin levels never got high enough enough for phototherapy. It was so frustrating bc I didn't want him to get any formula but, I also wanted him home asap. Plus, when I'd produce enough for a day's worth of feedings without supplementation, they'd up it. Fortunately they only used his ng tube once. We got to bring cillian home after 11 long days. He was a lazy/sleep eater too.

I'd never wish a NICU stay on anyone. It's so hard, especially when you get discharged. I'd cry going to visit (bc I knew he wouldn't be coming home), leaving, when I thought about him. But I told myself, we were one more day, hour, minute, second closer to having him home. I also prayed a ton and had a bunch of support from my church and family and friends.

I'd call every morning and get the report and rally some prayer warriors and pray for his immediate goals. Then visit in the afternoon, blow up Facebook with his update and pictures.

I'll definitely be keeping you and your little one in my prayers for a short stay and the strength for you to handle all that you need to.

Ylvelill · July 2014

I am sorry you are having a rough time

I can totally understand your frustrations and sadness. We are going on 3 weeks in the nicu for our boy and there is little we can do to speed things up.

My thoughts are with you, hang in there and soon it will be behind you like a bad dream... Or so I keep telling myself.

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