Sometimes...

Junebug060609 · July 2014

Sometimes it's just hard to be reminded of the things your kid *should* be doing and isn't.

I know I'm preaching to the choir here andI know that he's making his own path in life (aren't we all?), but still...

Sorry, just having one of those weeks (the one year mark of them dropping the A-bomb on us was a few days ago...been thinking about things way too much)

Unknown · July 2014

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Junebug060609 · July 2014

-auntie- said:
Sometimes it helps to compare a child to where he was 6 or 12 months ago rather than where his peers are. Sometimes that's not enough to blow off the funk.

That's exactly what usually helps me. He has come so far in the last year, including doing some things I feared he might never do.

@DC2London‌ I am finding the same with DD. She is only a couple months old, but I see her level of interaction and am dumbfounded (and sometimes overwhelmed as I'm not used to it). This is how it is *supposed* to be? (I use the asterisk bc I mean for typically developing kids, DS is developing exactly as he is supposed to

). It's like apples and oranges and it makes me mad that I didn't realize something was up so much sooner... and then I remind myself that having never walked this path, I couldn't have known.

typeset · July 2014

Right there with you after spending the weekend with my typical nephews. Spouse got a taste watching the 2.5-year-old interact and play, too.

mommy0411 · July 2014

DC2London said:

Watching my younger son grow and his personality develop really brings the differences between he and DS1 into stark contrast. I'm elated to be enjoying this time with my younger DS and I really, really do enjoy him, but I wish I could share that with DS1, too.

I completely understand. It's so hard to watch DS1 at play dates and see the stark contrast between him and his peers. It seems like the social differences are just increasing at this point. And I definitely agree DC2London. DS2 has surpassed DS1 socially already and he is just so much more interactive. I am so thankful for the incredible progress DS1 has made but sometimes the distance he still has to go seems insurmountable.

Princess_Lily · July 2014

(((Hugs)))

I stopped looking to what other children his age are doing, and am simply focusing on our own little world and his accomplishments.

We try to find peer groups/friendships with othets who focus on the same interests as DS.

Its hard to do, but I'm happier

Junebug060609 · July 2014

Princess_Lily said:
(((Hugs)))

I stopped looking to what other children his age are doing, and am simply focusing on our own little world and his accomplishments.

Its hard to do, but I'm happier

I generally do the same. But sometimes, like when I am around kids his same age, I can't help but notice.

Micelle78 · July 2014

This has been me as well this last week. I see my nieces every Sunday because my family does a dinner weekly. So my brother brings his 2 daughters (one the same exact age as DS which is just turned 4) and his 2 year old. My kids are 4 and 15 months.

So his two year old had this convo with my dad:

My dad says"Oooooh missA, I am going to eat your dessert"

She looks at him and smiled sheepishly.

"No grandpa, don't eat it!" She laughed

"I am going to eat it all up. Yum yum!"

"You aren't going to eat it, because you are a nice grandpa!"

This little girl just turned two in April. She is using words like "because" and has reasoning skills that I am sure are a little early, but watching this interaction between her and my father and wishing DS could do something even close feels like a gut punch. She was even telling cute knock knock jokes. Sometimes I look at DS and wonder what funny things he would be saying to me if it weren't for his speech delay. He is such a happy kid that I am sure his jokes would be hillarious. It hurts a lot and I try to not let it get me down, but I would be a liar if I said it was easy to watch my nieces grow up NT and see my son struggle.

It was one thing when I compared my brother's 4 year old daughter to DS. My brother's wife and I were pregnant at the same time and those two are only 2 months apart. Then they had their next daughter exactly two years later, almost to the day. This little girl now understands and talks so much more than DS. It is very obvious to see his deficits now because you can't just say that the 4 year old may be a little advanced KWIM?

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2014

I always found the younger kids stung more than the same age peers. It is something that has gotten easier with time.

Junebug060609 · July 2014

Conversation with DH yesterday concerning DS and potty training and utensil using. DH says, "People are going to start noticing that he's different if he isn't doing these things soon." My reply, "Hun, he is different. I'm all for him learning both, but at some point people will notice (if they haven't already)"

Junebug060609 · July 2014

AA0417 said:

kitchencolors said:

Must be something in the air. I've been having a tough week too. I'm not sure if it's being told "just you wait" (as though I'll be sorry) about a couple of things that a typical kid would have been doing a year ago or if it's watching DD2 do things so much faster. Either way, it sucks. "Just you wait until she's walking... then you'll really have your hands full!!!". She's 2. I'm okay if my two year old starts walking, TYVM.

We get comments like this about talking, things like, "Be glad he doesn't say much. My kid never shuts up." No one thinks about how frustrated LO can get because he regularly has to be told, "I'm sorry, but I just don't understand." or he spends 10 minutes trying to get me to understand something simple (something as basic as he is looking for a certain toy), and that is just to communicate with me, the person who by far understands him best.
Amen.

hopecounts · July 2014

Yep I'm looking forward to seeing our friends for the 4th but their daughter is almost 2 and I expect will be developmentally about where DD is at almost 4 so I am dreading it.

It's going to be rough.

Micelle78 · July 2014

Junebug060609 said:

Conversation with DH yesterday concerning DS and potty training and utensil using. DH says, "People are going to start noticing that he's different if he isn't doing these things soon." My reply, "Hun, he is different. I'm all for him learning both, but at some point people will notice (if they haven't already)"

@Junebug060609 My DS just turned 4 two weeks ago. He only started using a spoon on his own (fine motor/vision issues/sensory caused) at 3 years old. He is no where near proficient at it either. food kind of falls all over him. He refused to even touch a spoon until he was past age two. he would cry and scream if you tried to make him hold it (sensory issues) but would gladly sit and put together puzzles and other bigger piece fine motor stuff. It was weird. He also would pick up his cup with just his fingertips-- only items he treated this way. Everything else he was ok with touching the palm of his hand.

He also insisted on certain cups, plates, spoons, and food textures. OT has helped a lot with this and this behavior other than pickey eating-- is gone. He will drink out of any cup for the most part and will use the fridge to fill it with water. Potty training is a whole other post.... its not going so well.

I totally understand where you and your DH are coming from. I avoided this in restaurants by picking places that served things he would eat AND did not require utensils (chicken strips, french fries, grilled cheese). I would also a lot of times pack his cup and pour his drink into it.

Junebug060609 · July 2014

@Micelle78‌ That makes me feel better. DS will use a spoon pretty well with yogurt...I think bc he loves it and I will only let him eat it with a utensil. Am thinking I will have to take that tactic with other food. He never uses a fork...but will hold it (and eat the food with his other hand). He's gotten pretty good with an open cup. Well mostly... work in progress. Thankfully he has no issues with food pickiness or plate/cup preferences.

greyt00 · July 2014

I saw an almost 4-year-old (so right about 6 months ahead of DS1) at the pool yesterday and it nearly killed me. I'm never around NT kids his age and I'm glad. I know, he should be around some... and he IS at school. I'll have to work on it myself at some point. Glad my nephew (my only) is 4 years ahead.

starrdiva211 · July 2014

As much as I would like for the Lil Emperor (DS) to walk... I WANT HIM TO EAT MORE!!!! He was born with EA/TEF and had it repaired when he was two days old and a dilation back in March but still isnt really eating. I see other toddlers attempting foods all the time but mine freaks out over mashed potatoes... We are in feeding therapy but I wondering, when will it "click"...

And he is skinny. He is getting taller but not gaining much weight. I am not starving my child :-(

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