TTC After a Loss

DH or SO's thoughts on the board?

What does your SO think of the board? Do they know what it's all about or just that you frequent it?

I'm curious to see how they feel. Do they "get it" or not at all? Do they know how much time you truly spend here?

      THE DARK SIDE IT IS

 and GBCB

image    


BFP 8/2/12 EDD 4/9/13 Addie was delivered 1/4/13 at 26 weeks due to Eclampsia  

BFP 9/15/14 EDD 5/28/15 Please be our R A I N B O W take home baby BOY
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

imageimageimageimage
~All AL always welcome~

 

 


Re: DH or SO's thoughts on the board?

  • This content has been removed.
  • Loading the player...
  • Km380Km380 member
    He pretty much gets it but I think he gets annoyed with the amount of time I spend here.
    Which annoys me bc I can bump and hold a conversation but anything he does on his phone means I get ignored lol.
    What prompted the question?

    PgAL welcome


    Married 6/11/2011

    Me & Hubby: 34

    TTC journey started 12/2012

    BFP #1 6/5/2013, MC confirmed 6/26/2013 @ 7 wks

    BFP#2 8/25/2013 MC confirmed 10/16/2013 @ 12 wks (D&C 10/18)

    Diagnosis: unexplained RPL, unexplained IF.

    Also have hypothyroidism

    Started TTC again 12/2013

     

    IUI#1:Clomid CD 3-7, Trigger'ed CD 12. IUI CD 14. BFN

    IUI #2:Letrozole CD 3 - 7, Follistim CD 9, Trigger CD 10, IUI CD12. BFN

    Current plan: IVF with PGD. Antagonist - Vivelle Protocal. Stim start 12/1. ER 12/14.

    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/502498

    image imageimage

    image


  • DH knows about it.  He used to laugh about TB in general but after how my old BMB-turned-FB-group supported me through both of my losses- he doesn't give me a hard time anymore. He's also not a big "lets talk about our feelings" guy, so he probably appreciates that I have you ladies to vent to, etc and it doesn't all fall on him :)

    BFP #1- 4/2011; DD Brynn born 12/2011

    BFP #2- 7/13; EDD- 4/2/14; Lost DS at 20 weeks (11/16/13) due to cord accident

    BFP #3- 3/14; EDD- 11/28/14; Lost DD at 15 weeks (6/7/14)- cause unknown

    To my angels- I held you every second of your lives and I'll love you every second of mine.

     

  • I was just curious. I got a FB message this morning and H asked who I was talking to no said one of the board girls. Some of the grads and I are very close. For a long time they (before they had moved on) were all I talked to. I'm friends with quite a few ladies on Facebook and feel really invested in their lives.

    When I had my first loss anniversary and the beautiful ((hugs)) thread I sat in bed and cried with DH while we read the responses. He was shocked that everyone knew so much about me, him, Addie and our lives. He had no idea how active I was or how much I posted. He does now and I'm sure thinks its silly but he's glad I have a support system. He always sees the cards, recipes and gift exchange stuff in the mail and figured its from one of you guys. :)

    He knows I send cards to some ladies and that they are for losses, BFPs or especially rough times.

          THE DARK SIDE IT IS

     and GBCB

    image    


    BFP 8/2/12 EDD 4/9/13 Addie was delivered 1/4/13 at 26 weeks due to Eclampsia  

    BFP 9/15/14 EDD 5/28/15 Please be our R A I N B O W take home baby BOY
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    imageimageimageimage
    ~All AL always welcome~

     

     


  • ***child mentioned***

    My old BMB sent me flowers with my first loss and then when my second loss happened right before Fathers Day, they sent me a necklace, my daughter a stuffed animal and DH a sports store gift card- it was above and beyond but they said that they wanted to make sure my whole family knew they were thinking about us during such a tough time. I think the fact that they included him really surprised him and helped him "get it".  He knows I'm on the internet all of the time but I don't think he truly understood the relationships that could be built.

    BFP #1- 4/2011; DD Brynn born 12/2011

    BFP #2- 7/13; EDD- 4/2/14; Lost DS at 20 weeks (11/16/13) due to cord accident

    BFP #3- 3/14; EDD- 11/28/14; Lost DD at 15 weeks (6/7/14)- cause unknown

    To my angels- I held you every second of your lives and I'll love you every second of mine.

     

  • rslh10rslh10 member
    My DH thinks that being here is changing my attitude towards my mc and making me even more sad and emotional... which is a load of shit! This is the only place where I can be myself and feel myself out about this loss. I've told him about how I'm feeling on my bad days etc, and he just doesn't get how you all truly support me (and everyone else!) I actually made good friends with one of the ladies here and we text everyday. DH thinks online friendships are weird (IMO). I, however, love you all ;;) :x :x
    image
    Hubs & I -29 • Met 5/18/04 • Married 5/8/10
    BFP #1 DS 2/7/11 (Born @ 34 wks via ECS due to Pre-e) TTC #2 since Aug '13
    DX Low AMH (.58) March '14 • FSH-7.5 • E2-35.5 (Nov '14)
    SA- Great numbers • SIS- Clear (Nov '14)
     Cycle 1- Clomid CD3-7 & Trigger-BFP • EDD 1/12/15 
    Ectopic @ 5w6d • Methotrexate Shot 5/18/14
    Cycle 2,3,4- Clomid CD3-7 & Trigger-- BFN
    Cycle 5- Letrozole CD3-7 & Trigger BFFN
    image
    • Everyone Welcom
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge • Animal Snow Interactions
    image


  • My DH knows and even uses some of the terms (o, ewcm, dh, eod) lol. Dont think he knows how often I am on, but when someone posts something funny I share it with him

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic   image image

        My Blog

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
      

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
    Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013

    BFP # 2 8/7/14 EDD 4/22/15
    Please be our rainbow!!

    **All AL Welcome**

  • Km380Km380 member
    @rslh10‌ mh has also said sometimes he thinks it makes me sadder, so he doesn't always get it. I've since stopped telling him the really sad things. Now I tell him the non ttcal related stuff - he thoroughly enjoyed the July siggy challenge! For the most part I think he's glad I have you wonderful women!

    PgAL welcome


    Married 6/11/2011

    Me & Hubby: 34

    TTC journey started 12/2012

    BFP #1 6/5/2013, MC confirmed 6/26/2013 @ 7 wks

    BFP#2 8/25/2013 MC confirmed 10/16/2013 @ 12 wks (D&C 10/18)

    Diagnosis: unexplained RPL, unexplained IF.

    Also have hypothyroidism

    Started TTC again 12/2013

     

    IUI#1:Clomid CD 3-7, Trigger'ed CD 12. IUI CD 14. BFN

    IUI #2:Letrozole CD 3 - 7, Follistim CD 9, Trigger CD 10, IUI CD12. BFN

    Current plan: IVF with PGD. Antagonist - Vivelle Protocal. Stim start 12/1. ER 12/14.

    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/502498

    image imageimage

    image


  • DH ignores me talking about the board as much as he ignores me talking about work.  He's not interested.  You ladies do relieve him of having to hear too much about my thoughts through all of IF & TTCAL as I keep most of this very private from people I know IRL.  Occasionally, when I mention "the girls online", he will give me a "That's good".
    Siggy Warning BFP/Loss Mentioned
    Me: 30, DH 30 Started TTC 7/2009
    9/2010 SA=Normal 9/10 HSG Dx Both tubes dilated; Rx bilateral salpingectomy & IVF; 9/2010-12/2012 Financial break
    1/2013 Bilateral Salpingectomy 5/2013 Recent SA shows borderline morphology
    5/2013 IVF w/ ICSI #1 6/25/13 ER=11R 9M 9F  6/28/13 3dt of 2 embies (8B & 6A-); no frosties: BFN
    10/2013 IVF w/ ICSI #2 11/12/13 ER= 9R 6M 6F  11/15/13 3dt of 2 embies (8A & 8A) 3 frosties (2 day-5, 1 day-6)
    11/22/13 (7dp3dt) +hpt  11/26/13 (11dp3dt) BFP Beta=141 11/28/13 Beta 2= 372 EDD 8/5/2014
    3/20/14 Fetal Demise 20 wks F/L 17 wks D&E attempted 3/21/14 & 3/22/14 Born Still 3/23/14  I love you B.T.
    "Sometimes you try your hardestbut things don't work out the way you want them to." –Nani (Lilo & Stitch)
    “All I can say is, it's a sort of kinship, as though there is a family tree of grief. On this branch, the lost children, on this the suicided parents, here the beloved mentally ill siblings. When something terrible happens, you discover all of the sudden that you have a new set of relatives, people with whom you can speak in the shorthand of cousins.” ― Elizabeth McCracken
    imageimageimage
    8/2014 FET 8/7/14 Transferred 1 5-day blast (4AA): BFN
    image
    TTCAL September Siggy Challenge:  Animals in Clothing

    Will add soon

    **All AL/AIF Welcome**
  • My DH goes back and forth from completely understanding and encouraging me to bump to making fun of me and saying I'm spending too much time on here. For the most part he understands though.

    image
    BFP: 3/9/2014  EDD: 11/11/2014  MMC: 4/10/2014  D&C: 4/11/2014
  • MH knows, but I'm not sure he really understands or, quite honestly, cares. Sometimes he'll look over and comment on a sig, and he's gotten a chuckle out of some of the funny things I share. He does get frustrated when I'm upset by something online, but that's all of online, not just TB, and it's because I have a tendency to take things really personally.
    Momma to 3 angels and two amazing children
    F born June 2018
    W born September 2020
    #3 due November 2022
  • I don't know that my SO really gets it. He knows I'm here and that I spend a fair amount of time here, but he doesn't complain. We don't talk about our losses much, so this is really my outlet when I need to talk. I think overall, he's glad I have some support.
    BFP 3/30/13, MMC and D&C 4/19/13
    BFP 4/8/14, MMC 5/5/14, D&C 5/9/14
    BFP 8/26/14 Due date 5/8/15

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I just asked him, he'd never given me an opinion. He says he doesn't quit get the GIFs or siggy challenges (and at first while I was figuring it out poor H had to do the leg work for me because I have no patience to read instructions, I just want to be shown), but he does find the alternative book titles funny this month. He is glad I have a place to go where people "get it."
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge: Animals in the Snow

    image

      
    About Me: 

    AMA 35 :  DH 33
    BFP#1 1/26/14 (EDD: 10/7/14).  MMC 3/10/14 D&C 3/14/14
    RE Consult 11/3/14 - AMH 2.25 "great" . FSH 7.10 . Low Vitamin D
    Myomectomy 12/17/14.  Benched until March.

    image

    My Ovulation Chart
  • I think Hubby is grateful that I have someone else to talk to about it. I tell him almost everything I think or feel all the time and he is happy to have a break when i talk with y'all. He also said he is glad I have other women who understand what I am going through and can talk with and learn ttc stuff from. He is really cool about it and doesn't even get mad when he asks about my day and I talk about y'all. Sometimes I cry for ladies on the board and he tells me I'm so sweet and caring and that is why he loves me... or i get excited when ladies graduate and he smiles and says yay for them too. 
    -Megan


    Started dating Hubby May 17 2005. Married since Aug 20 2011 
    Me:30   Hubby:31
    TTC since May 2012 
    HSG Dec 2012 Fill no spill on left side, right side normal (most physically painful experience of my life..)
    Metformin Started May 2013
    PG#1: BFP 10-21-13. EDD 6-17-14 mmc 12-9-13 m/c occurred with cytotec on 12-11-13 
    PG#2: BFP 07-25-14.  EDD 4-5-15   *Hoping this is my rainbow*
    Diagnosed with PCOS, Hypothyroid,IBD/UC, (UC in remission as of July 2014)
    *I will always love you Fetey the first.* 
    image

    ALL WELCOME!



  • alm288alm288 member

    My H knows I am here, but he honestly doesn't know how much. He is slowly realizing how much I have learned from you ladies and was positively surprised. I don't think he really gets it, but he accepts it.

    TTC: Since July 2013
    BFP #1: EDD 05/27/2014 (D&C 10/17/2014)
  • SO is very supportive. He likes that I "talk" my issues out even if I can't IRL. It's the most outgoing I've been and it's sort of continued IRL too! The touching support of what I went through last year with my breakup and everything since has been so helpful.
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • My H is really grateful that I found this board. During the time between when we were going through the MC and the time I found this place, I was a complete wreck and he didn't know what to do or say to make it better. He kept telling me to 'maybe find a support group', but I just didn't feel at all comfortable talking about these things with strangers in person. When I found this board, I was able to open up, and DH has seen what a difference it's made :-)
    Married 07/2006, TTC since 2010
    08/2011: Clomid 50mg, IUI --> BFN  ,
    10/2011: Clomid 100mg, IUI --> BFN

    04/13: Clomid, IUI BFP --> MC at 6w1d
    05/13: Femara 2.5mg, IUI --> BFN  , 08/13: Femara 2.5mg --> BFN
    03/14: Femara 5mg, IUI --> 1 follicle @ 27d --> BFP! EDD 12/02/14--> blighted ovum, missed MC 6w6d --> D&C
    4/23: D&C...starting over again, with a little part of my heart broken off
    5/31: Femara 7.5mg --> cancelled cycle, no follies
    7/14: Femara 5mg + brevelle + menopur + IUI --> converted to IVF, ER 7/28 --> ET cancelled due to severe OHSS.
    9/20/14:  Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP--> EDD 6/6/15 --> MC at 5w3d 
     
    10/16/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFN
    2/6/15: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP --> MC at 5w4d
    3/20/16: PGS-tested Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP, Living Child born 12/1/15
    6/6/17: Fresh IVF Cycle --> Severe OHSS, 5 PGS-tested embryos frozen
    2/23/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
    3/30/18: Cancelled cycle due to lining 4.2mm
    6/21/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
  • DH doesn't quite get it. He's not that good with technology so taking the time to explain how it works and who you lovely ladies all are would be exhausting!
    BFP #1 - 12/7/2012 - EDD 8/14/2013 - DD born 8/17/2013
    BFP #2 - 3/31/2014 - EDD 12/6/2014 - Natural miscarriage on 4/28/2014
    BFP #3 - 8/4/2014 - EDD 4/12/2015 - Chemical Pregnancy discovered on 8/13/2014

     image

  • My DH doesn't even know I'm on here...
    image
    Me: 33 DH: 31
    DD: 10 (born August 2004)
    Married 03/01/14
    TTC#2
    BFP: 05/17/2014 EDD: 1/25/15 MMC: 06/30/2014
    BFP: 01/31/15 MMC: 02/25/15 





  • H likes that I'm on here.  After our last loss we were discussing what to do next and he said well what does your group say is a good next step.  He likes how much we have learned from being on here because we were like the blind leading the blind. I don't think he knows how much I'm on here though because I never bump when we are together, we have a no phones policy when hanging out.
    BFP #1 2/26/14 EDD 11/4/14 MMC 4/1/14 D&C 4/2/14
     BFP #2 5/24/14 EDD 2/3/15 MC 6/12/2014

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
    photo a800563d-1e24-4e2a-a95d-25f32948d9d6_zps0251bd32.jpgphoto 4521ffbe-b5f5-4727-a533-087ea3d85339_zps1d61286a.jpg
  • BookishMommaBookishMomma member
    edited July 2014
    My DH thinks my board involvement is one of the many ways I have an "unhealthy" obsession with TTC and loss :( I told him it's one of the only places I can talk about how I really feel without feeling like a huge downer, since so many of our friends are currently pregnant. He said he sort of gets that, but wishes I would talk more to people IRL, specifically him. But I know he would get annoyed with me if I talked as much about all this stuff with him as I do here. 

    edit: clarity
    image
    image
    DX: I'm a Recurrent Loser
    Me (35) + DH (37) - Married Sept. 2007
    BFP #1 - DS born 7/11/11
    BFP#2 11/13/13 - EDD 7/29/14 - M/C at 5w3d
    BFP #3 12/28/13 - EDD 9/7/14 - M/C at 4w6d
    BFP#4 3/27/14 -  EDD 12/5/14 - Girl lost to 45X at 8w6d - D&C 
    BFP#5 10/15/14 - EDD 6/30/15 - M/C at 7w2d
    BFP #6 1/5/15 - EDD 9.16.14 [CLICKY for progress]
    In search of a image


  • rslh10 said:
    My DH thinks that being here is changing my attitude towards my mc and making me even more sad and emotional... which is a load of shit! This is the only place where I can be myself and feel myself out about this loss. 
    omg, this is exactly like a conversation my DH and I just had. I'm glad I'm not the only one.
    image
    image
    DX: I'm a Recurrent Loser
    Me (35) + DH (37) - Married Sept. 2007
    BFP #1 - DS born 7/11/11
    BFP#2 11/13/13 - EDD 7/29/14 - M/C at 5w3d
    BFP #3 12/28/13 - EDD 9/7/14 - M/C at 4w6d
    BFP#4 3/27/14 -  EDD 12/5/14 - Girl lost to 45X at 8w6d - D&C 
    BFP#5 10/15/14 - EDD 6/30/15 - M/C at 7w2d
    BFP #6 1/5/15 - EDD 9.16.14 [CLICKY for progress]
    In search of a image


  • At first my H didn't really understand that our board is specifically about loss. He just saw me on Te Bump all the time and was worried it might be unhealthy that I was spending so much time on a website that he considered to be, in his words, "all about pregnancy." 

    Now that he understands what TTCAL is, he's really supportive. He knows we've benefited greatly from the knowledge gained from you awesome ladies, and he's happy I have a place for support. 
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"