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TTC After a Loss
Ashlealauren
member
Intro
Ashlealauren
member
Hi ladies! I'm coming from the July '14 board. I was due July 2, 2014 and went to my dr on March 26 after not feeling our baby move for a few days. Up until this point my pregnancy had gone smoothIy, no spotting or cramping. I was out of town at the time and attributed the lack of movement to being busy and just missing the signs of it. I still felt the baby shifting into different positions and mistaking it for movement. When I went in to the doctors office they couldn't find a heartbeat and so I had to deliver Leo at 26 weeks. We had an autopsy done and couldn't find a single reason why we lost him.
Now, three months later, we are TTC again and I have so much anxiety and bitterness. I am excited at the possibility of being pregnant again, but at the same time dreading it because we still have no clue what went wrong previously. There's nothing to tell us it won't happen again, but at the same token we don't know that it will. At the same time, my husbands sister is also pregnant, with a boy, and never seems to take into consideration that we just lost our son a few months ago. On the day we picked up Leo's remains from the funeral home, she posted her baby announcement. Two days before what would have been our due date she posts her video announcing that she will be having a boy, due in November. This is also the day of her ultrasound that she went out of her way to see us, 3 hours away from her home, to tell us that they are having a boy. I am happy for her but struggling to deal with the fact that someone who got pregnant , and admits that she got pregnant because everyone else was and is extremely unhealthy, is having such an easy go of it and is
extremely insensitive to our situation.
My two best friends are also pregnant. One found out a few months after I did that she was pregnant, and the other found out about a week ago. Both had a difficult time getting pregnant and I am so excited for them. It's a bittersweet feeling but I find myself not having the same issues with them that I have with my sister in law.
I am just hoping to be able to relate to people who have been through similar things and maybe a little piece of mind as we begin this process again.
Now, three months later, we are TTC again and I have so much anxiety and bitterness. I am excited at the possibility of being pregnant again, but at the same time dreading it because we still have no clue what went wrong previously. There's nothing to tell us it won't happen again, but at the same token we don't know that it will. At the same time, my husbands sister is also pregnant, with a boy, and never seems to take into consideration that we just lost our son a few months ago. On the day we picked up Leo's remains from the funeral home, she posted her baby announcement. Two days before what would have been our due date she posts her video announcing that she will be having a boy, due in November. This is also the day of her ultrasound that she went out of her way to see us, 3 hours away from her home, to tell us that they are having a boy. I am happy for her but struggling to deal with the fact that someone who got pregnant , and admits that she got pregnant because everyone else was and is extremely unhealthy, is having such an easy go of it and is
extremely insensitive to our situation.
My two best friends are also pregnant. One found out a few months after I did that she was pregnant, and the other found out about a week ago. Both had a difficult time getting pregnant and I am so excited for them. It's a bittersweet feeling but I find myself not having the same issues with them that I have with my sister in law.
I am just hoping to be able to relate to people who have been through similar things and maybe a little piece of mind as we begin this process again.
BFP #1- 10/2/2013- No heartbeat at 25w2d
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Intro
My Ovulation Chart
BFP 4/8/14, MMC 5/5/14, D&C 5/9/14
BFP 8/26/14 Due date 5/8/15
I'm so sorry about the loss of Leo. Perhaps your friends are being more kind with your feelings? Don't beat yourself up about this. Hugs and welcome to the board.
08/2011: Clomid 50mg, IUI --> BFN ,
10/2011: Clomid 100mg, IUI --> BFN
04/13: Clomid, IUI BFP --> MC at 6w1d
05/13: Femara 2.5mg, IUI --> BFN , 08/13: Femara 2.5mg --> BFN
03/14: Femara 5mg, IUI --> 1 follicle @ 27d --> BFP! EDD 12/02/14--> blighted ovum, missed MC 6w6d --> D&C
4/23: D&C...starting over again, with a little part of my heart broken off
7/14: Femara 5mg + brevelle + menopur + IUI --> converted to IVF, ER 7/28 --> ET cancelled due to severe OHSS.
9/20/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP--> EDD 6/6/15 --> MC at 5w3d
10/16/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFN
2/6/15: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP --> MC at 5w4d
3/20/16: PGS-tested Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP, Living Child born 12/1/15
6/6/17: Fresh IVF Cycle --> Severe OHSS, 5 PGS-tested embryos frozen
2/23/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
3/30/18: Cancelled cycle due to lining 4.2mm
Dealing with other people's pregnancies is very difficult. And dealing with other people's in sensitivities regarding your loss is even more emotionally trying. (((((Hugs)))))) and welcome xoxo
DX: Adenomyosis, Compounded MTHFR, PAI-1 4G variant
DH: 34
MFI due to Testicular Cancer
Married March 2012
IVF w/ICSI #1
10 little polar bears
FET #1 with 2 polar bears ~Nov 6, 2013 BFN
FET # 2 with 2 more polar bears ~March 19, 2014 BFP!!!
Beta 1= 276
Beta 2= 662
4/19/14 ~ baby A became an angel
5/02/14 ~ baby B became an angel
5/3/14 ~ D&C
FET #3 with 1 male polar bear ~October 3, 2014
October 13, 2014 ~ BFN
Fur Children: Memphis 3y, Dutch 3y, Marcel 2y, Meadow 1y
January 2015 Siggy Challenge TTCAL
Animals Interacting with Snow
TTC since 2012
BFP#1~ EDD: 06/21/2014 ~ TFMR --Holoprosencephaly
Said goodbye on 2/10/2014 at 21 weeks. We miss our baby girl "J"
My Chart
Hello! I'm so sorry for your loss--and for all that you have been through. I also have a lot of anxieties about getting pregnant again, but I found the mantras women post on the TTCAL board really encouraging (I can send some to you by PM if you like). I think that's what I'll try if I ever get pregnant again. I find that it helps me to have certain sentences I repeat if I go into a dark place.
It's really shocking how insensitive people can be--your SIL should be treating you with kid gloves! I had to cut communication with "friends" who were just too insensitive (i.e. writing to me complaining about their children; announcing their 3rd pregnancies), but obviously you can't do that with family. Maybe you can ask your husband or mother-in-law to talk to your sister-in-law, say that you're happy for her, but just ask her to leave you out of the loop for a bit?
My cousin kept sending me baby pictures, and I asked my mom if she would just remind her what I had been through and ask her if she could leave me out of the communication until I invite her to include me in her lists. She meant no harm, I'm sure--people are just clueless about how to respond. It was not a bit deal for either my mom or my cousin, but it has helped me so much!
Have a lovely weekend!
Me (34); DH (35)
BFP 11/25/13; Heard strong heartbeats for 3 weeks; Natural MC (1/15/14)
BFP 11/11/14 EDD 07/21/15 hoping for our rainbow!
BFP #1- 10/2/2013- No heartbeat at 25w2d
BFP #1- 4/2011; DD Brynn born 12/2011
BFP #2- 7/13; EDD- 4/2/14; Lost DS at 20 weeks (11/16/13) due to cord accident
BFP #3- 3/14; EDD- 11/28/14; Lost DD at 15 weeks (6/7/14)- cause unknown
To my angels- I held you every second of your lives and I'll love you every second of mine.
Me (34); DH (35)
BFP 11/25/13; Heard strong heartbeats for 3 weeks; Natural MC (1/15/14)
BFP 11/11/14 EDD 07/21/15 hoping for our rainbow!
TTC #1 since January 2013
BFP #1: April 5, 2013; EDD December 11, 2013; Missed M/C May 15, 2013
BFP #2: February 17, 2014; EDD October 30, 2014; M/C March 15, 2014
BFP #3: August 1, 2014; EDD April 14, 2015 - Praying for our RAINBOW!
DH: 45
BFP #1 3/19/14 EDD 11/29/14 MMC D&C 4/24/14
BFP #2 12/4/14 Beta #1 218 at 12dpo Beta #2 1055 at 16dpo
Saw heartbeat 12/29. Please be a rainbow.
All welcome
BFP #1: EDD 05/27/2014 (D&C 10/17/2014)
Me: 34; DH: 38; SD: 9
TTC #1 since November 2013
BFP #1: 2/4/14--EDD 10/14/14--CP 2/8/14
BFP #2: 3/1/14--EDD 11/15/14--MMC at 12w6d (baby stopped developing at 11w4d)
D&C 5/13/14; Retained Tissue Found: Cytotec 5/30/14; 2nd D&C 6/20/14
BFP #3: 12/13/14--EDD 8/27/15--MMC at 7 weeks (no fetal pole and measuring 1 1/2 weeks behind)--Cytotec 1/9/15
January 2015: Off to RE for RPL testing
DD: 10 (born August 2004)
Married 03/01/14
TTC#2
BFP: 05/17/2014 EDD: 1/25/15 MMC: 06/30/2014
3rd pregnancy -- 1st baby -- praying for a rainbow
#1 EDD 5/2014 -- MMC 10weeks ~~ #2 EDD 10/2014 -- Our baby girl, born sleeping 17weeks ~~ #3 EDD 8/2015