Baby sleep issues

Mule198513 · July 2014

I'd love some advice on sleep issues So our daughter is only 4 days old and as a ftm I'd love some tips. She sleeps well during the day but at night won't sleep anywhere but our arms. We've tried a co sleeper, bassinet, swing, napper. It's obviously not safe for her to just sleep with us so dh and I have been taking 1.5 hour shifts having her sleep on us and us staying awake. If she gets put anywhere else she cries inconsolably basically having a fit. She sleeps well in the napper and swing during the day, no issues. Has this happened to anyone else? Does it get better? We don't understand why she sleeps so well during the day and why only being held at night... Why the difference? We are so exhausted and once dh goes back to work this won't be possible. Please help

INmommy871278 · July 2014

No advice, but I do have an explanation on the sleep pattern. Babies sleep during the day while in the womb because the sway of our walking combined with the sound of our hearts beats and other body sounds makes them sleepy. They are usually awake at night since they sleep during the day. Once they are born their minds are still trained to sleep during the day and be awake at night, so it is an adjustment for them to get used to. Good luck!

Ekg688 · July 2014

Are you swaddling her? Possibly wrap her tighter? Swaddle plus swing? That may mimic the womb more?

Steph0126 · July 2014

I know I rarely chime in here but I may have some helpful advice. With my son who is now two I started a bedtime routine. Bath bottle(breast) then bed. For the bath I used to use lavender soap and lavender lotion consistently to try and calm him. During the day I tried to keep him on a strict sleeping schedule so he would be tired when night came(like playing or tummy time). Have you tried letting her fall asleep on you and slowly placing her in the bassinet,swing,or cosleeper? My son struggled some with sleeping away from us but I kept working on it and in a few days he was on his own. He started sleeping all the way through the night between 4-5 months and now at two will sleep from about 8pm-10ish am putting himself to bed. I could just have a good sleeper or could be the routine I worked on. I hope that it gets better for you because it can be do hard when they don't sleep. I have also heard that if you put something that smells like you like a shirt near them it helps or a noise maker with a heart beat?

Tiffles · July 2014

When DD #1 was a baby, I would breastfeed her until she was super full, then put her in her bassinet on vibrate (She couldn't sleep without the motion). After a while, she didn't need the vibration anymore and she was good! Maybe give that a try?

Mule198513 · July 2014

Ekg688 said:

Are you swaddling her? Possibly wrap her tighter? Swaddle plus swing? That may mimic the womb more?

She breaks out of swaddled, hates having her arms wrapped. Tried a sleep sack with arms out but she just wakes up and starts screaming

lindslalala · July 2014

This was my experience with DS exactly, we even tried taking shifts like you are but it only resulted in everyone being exhausted. Try keeping her awake as best you can during the day, I know it can be almost impossible sometimes. Eat, "play", sleep is a good routine to try to get them used to. Try swaddling with the arms out, use a white noise machine. What ended up working for us was getting up with DS and swaying, bouncing, rocking, patting, etc. until he fell asleep and then try getting him down in the co-sleeper. Some nights we'd do it over and over and over again. They eventually figure it out, so hang in there!!

TexasGirl81 · July 2014

For now especially with a newborn you will have to do what she needs. She's fresh out of your tummy and needs all of the comfort she can get.

I know it's hard now, but try your hardest not to stress because it will only make it worse for you. The baby can sense if you're stressed. My baby is almost 11 months, and I think in these 11 months I may have had one full sleep through the night. Not to scare you or stress you, it's just there's nothing magical that can make it better.

Just put your heads together and try your best to make it work. This sleeping in your arms is making her feel safe and comfortable so you may just have to stick it out a little bit longer.

HairBossMama · July 2014

I had the same trouble with my little one he is two weeks today. When we first brought him home he did the same thing at night. One night I just tucked him next to me in bed. Boom. It was amazing we both slept. I panicked the next day and started researching how to do it safely. We have been bed sharing ever since.
Also the swaddling thing. I thought my son hated it too. I just needed to wrap him tighter. He grunts and struggles sometimes to free his hands then settles down into a long sleep. By long sleep I mean 2 hours lol

AKB090609 · July 2014

DD1 was the same way (DD2 seems to be as well) first of all yes it will get better! Here is what worked well for us last time we tried not to let baby go more than2 hours between feedings during the day, day time sleep was always in a bright room, with noise (we did not go out of our way to be quiet at all) and no swaddle.

Night time routine started with a walk around the neighborhood (the fresh air helped make her sleepy) followed by a 'bath' (most days we just wiped her down with a warm wash cloth ) we used lots of 'sleepy scents' like lavender. When we took her in the bedroom we had the same white noise sound on every night we swaddled her (in very strong Velcro swaddlers) with her hands right next to her face. We also nursed both sides before bed (only one side each feeding during the day once my milk came in). DD also needed motion to keep her asleep (we used a bassinet/pnp with vibration). She also needed contact, so I learned to sleep with my hand on her chest.

This baby will only sleep on a warm body, I feel comfortable letting her sleep on me while I sleep as well, but DH dose not. One way we are working on getting everybody rested is me going to bed very early (like 7pm DH is on baby duty for two hours, will do the bedtime routine then bring her in around 9/10pm so I've already gotten 2-3 hours of sleep.

Good luck and it will get better!

Edited to add: we used a paci from day one and felt like it really helped with sleep, DD1 nursed for nearly 18 months and DD2 has been nursing just fine as well.

Shelleybell · July 2014

if she is breaking out of the swaddle- it isn't tight enough. For us we used the miracle blanket and a white noise machine (on the whole night). Hugs mama.

TurtleMonsters · July 2014

can you swaddle with just her arms out?

I totally agree she's been on her own schedule for 9 months, you're only 4 days in, give it a chance;) Also, I'm in the newborns create their own schedule camp- and that they've been so close to you with so much familiarity of "one world" and now there is all this stuff to take in from our world. And she'll likely be over stimulated from the day, and night is a time to process a lot of it, so there is a lot of stuff going on in her head. Though calming actives and establishing a bed time routine may help in a way for her (try everything!), I think she's a tad too young to catch on immediately to that, it may just be a brain development, get to the next stage things to get through and you may have to deal. (we're not puppies and rainbows here, but hugs, I totally feel non-sleeper/colic pain and frustration, it's one of my big things to "redo" with a second child.)

I DID co sleep- that was super effective. I had a horrible sleeper (alleriges) for 2 years- well still has them but took two years to get sleeping better for everyone. But having him in bed with me, I at least got to sleep sort of through the night. I woke as one does to roll over, to know he was safe, I was always in the same position as when I last moved, DS secure in the crux of my arm. I have a co-sleeper that was barely used, but there in case. DH never rolled on him either. really , if you're totally stuck, I'd try that. we too used every holding device possible to console DS, it was very tricky and very taxing on everyone, but it gets better. Also, I used a lot of different slings, and wore him most of the time- he cried a lot- infancy was a very challenging time.

something maybe up too like reflux or whatever- they are still developing internally a little. she's crying to let you know she needs something and just holding is doing wonders- so despite all the crying, you're doing a great job, and don't forget to put her down if you need to take a break to regain your sanity. could you try sleeping with her on you in a recliner, so you're not rolling?

jnnfrrose6 · July 2014

The first few weeks are tough. As others have said, she's only 4 days on the outside. She's been all nice and cozy inside of you and now has to adjust to outside. I know that little babies naturally shut their eyes to light as well which is why they seem to sleep more during the day too (our pedi actually turns off the lights in the exam room when he needs to check baby's eyes because it "tricks" them I to opening them up.

I'm all about schedules for babies and agree with others it will help, but 4 days is too early to start anything like that. You really need to follow LOs cues at this point. We started DD on a schedule right at the 2 week mark (per the guidance of the book we've chosen to follow and was successful with DS).

I also agree that if she's getting out if the swaddle it isn't tight enough. At 4 days, if it's done well, she shouldn't be able to get out of it. Look online for different swaddle techniques or purchase swaddlemes, or a similar product, to help with that.

cakebatter27 · July 2014

What book @jnnfrrose6‌?

I have no advice but I'm terrified of this situation. DH works swing shift (5 days of midnight, 2 days off, 5 afternoons, 2 days off, 5 days, 2 days off) so I'll be on my own once he goes back to work. He obviously won't be a fantastic helper because his sleep schedule varies.

I'm interested in reading anything anyone found helpful.

Want a personalized experience?

Baby sleep issues

Re: Baby sleep issues

Choose Another Board

Search Boards