Can't a momma get a little credit?

nhermie · July 2014

I think this could also be a tp thread. I'm pretty sure my hubby gives me about, oh, zero credit for both being pregnant for nine months or for being the only one that gets up at night with either kid. This morning, ds1came in to wake us up at 6. Dh goes, can't you take him downstairs so I can sleep? I asked oh did you have a rough night last night, (insert dripping sarcasm as I had gotten up with baby at two and gotten up to crying two year old twice to comfort him) his response was I'm sorry, have you gotten up at five thirty the last two days? Said no, but I have gotten up at six....oh and four and two for the last two months. Sorry YOU are so tired. I recently started a new job that requires A LOT of driving, and I office out of home, so it very easily appears like I don't do much because he sees my truck at home. In fact the other day he actually asked if I was actually going to do something that day. Fuck off. Like seriously. I spent a month and a half on the couch downstairs so you could sleep soundly all night. Your welcome. Get over yourself. I know you work hard, but I'm about to stop giving you any credit for it because you just want to act like a martyr. Marriages are much harder when the things you do for your family go unnoticed and unappreciated....

hordol · July 2014

I'm sorry that your husband is acting that way. That sucks! Can you sit him down and have a conversation with him about how he is making you feel right now? Would he be receptive to it?

Or you could always leave him with both kids one day when he is home and you could go out shopping and take a break or something so he can maybe get a taste of what you deal with. That's what I would do but I'm passive aggressive sometimes.

strawberrytree · July 2014

Sorry you have to deal with that

. Methinks maybe he needs to handle night wakings for a couple nights to see what it's really like. Does he guard nuclear submarines or something and so actually needs all the sleep, or does he just man-need the sleep?

LaNorte · July 2014

I think we all feel like we don't get the credit we deserve, or at least I do. I get pissed when DH wakes up at like 9:00 am and asks why I didn't make any coffee yet. I'm like, "bitch, I've already fed the baby twice, washed the dishes, did a load of laundry, took the dog out, fed the animals, and scrubbed the toilets. Make your own damn coffee!"

momofmanyinthemitten · July 2014

strawberrytree said:
Sorry you have to deal with that . Methinks maybe he needs to handle night wakings for a couple nights to see what it's really like. Does he guard nuclear submarines or something and so actually needs all the sleep, or does he just man-need the sleep?

I love your term "man-need." I will be using that soon.

Jessimax · July 2014

I have one of these at home to. He does work hard between the farm and his real job but like you said he doesn't respect what I do. A quote I heard the other day, no one notices the house cleaning unless you don't do it. Running a household is a lot of work, not to mention having an ebf baby, toddler, and going to school part time. I consider punching him in the face every time he says he is tired.

dmosquera4 · July 2014

Ahh yea I know exactly where you are coming from my DH is being an ass too he doesn't even give me a break to go showere when he gets home from work and everytime he tries to hold the baby he cries ( uh well duh you try to get to know your son everyday what do you expect) his routine he gets up at 6 to go to work comes back and 5pm get home changes goes and worked out for an hour takes a shower and by the time he is finished doing all his bullshsit he comes down which at that point is 730 pm md the baby is ready for bed.... Can I say the weekends he spends his time outside washing the cars and cleaning etc... So again he spends no time with the baby... I appreciate the cleaning and cooking he does which I can complain (he is OCD) anyways... Sorry that was long haha I guess I needed a vent too...

But I completely understand you needless to say

Jennick602 · July 2014

I have the same going on here too! My role as a mother/ homemaker, AKA slave is seen as doing nothing!! But his day at work on hardly any sleep ( refuses to believe I can be up 4:30 - 6:30, as I'm in bed sleeping when his alarm goes off at 7:15) is hard!!

I feel your tp!!!
Hoping things turn around for you

CatherineDC2012 · July 2014

Have him on full-on baby watch for as long as possible. He'll see how hard it is. There's no talking to them without having them experience it. IMO.

ambarnett1 · July 2014

My DH is the same way. I'm too much of a pushover to make him do anything though because he does provide for us. I should wake his ass up, but I don't. Maybe one day... no advice, but I sympathize.

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