Really feeling down...

JericaLH · June 2014

Forewarning - Full blown Pity Party here - I'm sorry for being so negative but I really don't have anyone else to talk to about all this and if I don't get it out I'm going to implode.

I don't know why but for some reason I cannot shake this case of the downs. AF just ended a couple days ago and we put a stop to the Clomid until I can get an appointment with an RE so this month is going to be all-natural... not high hopes. I don't see my OB until July 16th, hoping to get a referral for an RE then but then AF is supposed to show up a week later and IDK if I'm going to be able to get into the RE's office in time for my August cycle. So at this rate it's looking like we won't have a plan until September at the earliest. And that's if I like the RE we get referred to! GAH! I don't know if I have the patience for all this... The more I think about how long we've been trying and how much longer it may take, the more depressed I get...

I know my struggles haven't been nearly as bad as some of you girls... I'm sorry if this seems dramatic. Hope I don't come off as a whiner.

ronniesgirl1981 · June 2014

I remember getting a BFN from IUI#2 and not crying, but when I then had to miss a cycle for a follow-up...here comes the tears. You are making a good decision, though, and I hope the rest of the process is smooth!

cupcake122 · June 2014

So sorry you find yourself here. T&P that you get that referral in time!

DharmaChick · June 2014

*hugs*
The feeling of "losing time" can be maddening. Hang in there!

I was able to get a referral just by calling the doctor's office, maybe that's worth a shot, if you have not already done so?

lebradford · June 2014

I'm really sorry. For me the worst part of all of this has been the waiting too. It's so maddening. I hope you can get into a RE soon!

Lillovebug79 · June 2014

I'm sorry

the waiting is so hard! Hugs!

jencity9 · June 2014

(((Hugs))) All the waiting is one of the worst parts.

nmccombs11 · June 2014

im so sorry ur down

BunnyBerry · June 2014

I'm so sorry! It's so frustrating when insurance get all up in our babymaking business.

Do you think you could first make your RE appointment and then wait on the referral before actually going and they bill? Just to make sure there's a spot for you August cycle?

masterofallcheese · June 2014

Vent away! We totally understand. I constantly feel like I am waiting and my life has become less about enjoying the present as a result. I'm constantly forming countdowns and freaking out about losing weeks because those add up to months. On a positive note you will feel a great sense of relief when you start working with the RE. ((Hugs))

emmuffy · June 2014

Totally understand. The lack of control and the waiting are some of the most awful and frustrating things about IF. Rant away. Everyone needs a good rant sometimes.

ashtownyeah · June 2014

I'm sorry! Waiting sucks.

I echo what PPs have said about scheduling with an RE without a referral. Another option you may be able to explore is delaying your cycle. My RE put me on birth control to delay my cycle so that we could do H's SA, general bloodwork (for STIs) and to prevent ovulation to perform a Femvue (similar to HSG). This way, I don't feel like we are losing chances during the testing process. Good luck!

Pintobean39 · June 2014

I'm so sorry. ((Hugs))). I agree with everyone else waiting sucks!!! I think that's the worst part about all of this.

eskimozie · June 2014

I understand. The biggest struggle for me is that I have no control over it. All I can do is try again each month and then wait and hope. No one seems to understand how very angry that makes me.

JericaLH · July 2014

Thank you all so much for being so supportive. I felt like a biotch complaining when I haven't had to deal with half the crap some of you ladies have gone through.

I tried asking my OB office for a over-the-phone referral so I at least know who to contact and can get the ball rolling with the RE's office, but the nurse just keeps telling me that I'm due for my annual appointment and my OB will talk to me about it then. So I have no idea what is going on. I'm afraid to try and find an RE on my own but it may come down to that. I just have no idea where to go because I live in a very rural area so I'm going to have to travel at least an hour anywhere I go. I want to make it worthwhile and not waste DH time interviewing RE's. (Workaholic - that's what I get for marrying into a family business! lol)

I really appreciate all the hugs and prayers. You ladies have no idea how much that helped. ((Hugs back!))

nswain85 · July 2014

I'm so sorry that you're having a rough day!

The thing with IF is that it's a waiting game and we only have those small windows to do anything so if something interrupts them it's a bummer. I hope the RE is able to get you in and hopefully has a plan for you asap again. Good luck!

bravegrace22 · July 2014

sending you good vibes & happy thoughts! right there with you in the waiting game; it just plain sucks! here's hoping that when you do get in to see an RE that you click and can get a move on things asap. i haven't been yet, but found mine on our insurance's website. maybe you could narrow things down that way and then ask around to see if it might be a good fit for you. best of luck!

CarSaidYes · July 2014

Frustrating I know. But just hang in there and try to be positive. Easier said than done.

ebliss444 · July 2014

Sorry you're bummed out! Totally understandable. Hugs!

Sigh202 · July 2014

Hugs

Mrs.Ess · July 2014

emmuffy said:
Totally understand. The lack of control and the waiting are some of the most awful and frustrating things about IF. Rant away. Everyone needs a good rant sometimes.

This exactly. I hope you feel better, IF is so hard. It just sucks

juneroses · July 2014

The waiting is hard. I was really down too before I saw the RE, just wondering what she would say, and kind of mourning having to give up that this wasn't going to happen for us without some intervention. Hugs & good luck on finding your RE!

DharmaChick · July 2014

Hang in there. I'm off meds for this cycle, too, and not feeling great about it. Take care and try to find some fun distractions.

siempre595 · July 2014

Waiting suuuuucks….I have to basically sit out this cycle (trying on our own) because my RE is going on vacation. Stupid people taking vacation! Who takes vacation!! (I'm kidding, I'm sure even she deserves a vacation). So I can't meet with her until halfway through my cycle, at which point we are going to discuss starting IVF next cycle. Part of me is excited about that. But I'm also just irritated I have to wait two weeks for this meeting. Should be for my own vacation dangit!

Sewfie · July 2014

Oh god, the waiting! Waiting is the worst. Waiting for a cycle to start, waiting to o, waiting to test, waiting at the doctor's office, waiting for calls. It feels like an endless wait.
Are you going through insurance? If so, your ins company probably has a list of RE's that accept it, to help narrow down the search if you end up having to find one before you get a referral. And some doctors have patient ratings online, so that helps, along with the SART link that Naria posted.

Really feeling down...

Re: Really feeling down...

Me: 26 (IC/PCOS-2000mg of Metformin daily)

DH: 27 (SA results were great minus the slightly low morphology)

Started dating DH in 2002 at 14 years old

Married on 03.01.2014

Officially TTC since April 2014

January 2013- Surprise BFP, m/c at 6 weeks, D&C 2 Weeks later

April 2014- First RE appointment

July 2014- IUI#1-Canx due to scar tissue and polyps. TI with the help of Ovidrel. BFN

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