Day Care concerned that my 17mo isn't talking

lafayettegirl · July 2014

DS has a list of words we know he can say, he just doesn't, especially not on command. Day car teacher says we should talk to our pediatrician because DS should be using at least single words consistently throughout the day. DS is advanced in his gross motor skills - running and jumping like older kids, but he is behind everyone in his class in terms of speech, even the couple of kids who are a month or so younger.

We have an 18 month checkup coming, so I plan on asking the doc about the teacher's concerns, but part of me also feels like DS is spending so much energy on his gross motor skills that he is just not devoting energy to speaking.

If you had a similar situation, what advice do you have to give? I don't want to freak out because I'm not sure anything is truly "wrong" but I also don't want to ignore a teacher's concerns, especially when she has several years of teaching experience and I am a first time parent.

mb314 · July 2014

DS had a word explosion around 17 months. Before that, he really just said "uh-oh" and "roar" Not even Mama and Papa. Then, one day, I noticed him saying all these words like "doggy" "tree" "Papa", "Elmo" etc. It seemed very sudden. Some kids talk later than others, boys tend to speak later than girls. I'm not an expert, but I don't think your DS is necessarily behind.

I would speak to your pediatrician and try not to freak out between now and then. In the meantime, read to your DS as much as possible and talk/sing to him/identify words as much as you can. Other things to consider/discuss with your pediatrician - does your DS understand commands and follow directions? Does he respond to you and what you're saying? Does he babble a lot? Even at 22 months, DS still babbles a lot and it is indecipherable.

stgn01 · July 2014

This kinda sounds like my DS. At his 18 month appt, the pedi gave me a referral for Early Intervention. They came out and did an evaulation a month later and basically said he's a typical boy. Very active and focusing on gross motor skills. About a week after he had his eval, he had his language explosion. Seriously, at least 2 new words every day.

I wouldn't be concerned but I think talking to your pedi is a must. And get the eval if the pedi suggests it. It might not be anything, but wouldn't you want to know sooner than not if it is something? Good luck with everything!

Litgirl77 · July 2014

Don't freak out - kids are different. And a lot of times, boys develop language more slowly than girls. My LO is very much the same way - we know there are lots of words he understands, and he says some consistently, but not often. And he definitely won't perform on command. I've brought up concerns about his language development at his 12, 15 and 18 month appointments, but our doc is always very reassuring and says he's within the normal range. He's got 3-4 words, a couple signs, and a couple animal noises. And he's just starting to say Mama and Daddy in the last few days.

Definitely talk to your doctor, and watch for that language explosion that others have mentioned. I'm still waiting on it for DS. I figure if he hasn't made progress in the next 4-6 weeks, I'll look into getting him evaluated. But I think you're totally right about focusing on motor skills sometimes, language other times, etc. They develop at their own rates, with their own personalities. As long as you and your doctor are comfortable, then I'd take what the daycare says with a grain of salt. Sure, they see a lot of kids, but all kids are different and it's a total waste of time playing the comparison game and needlessly worrying.

LimaD · July 2014

I wouldn't worry yet. A lot of kids don't really have their "language explosion" until after 18 months. DD (19mo) just now started talking more frequently. Even so, she usually doesn't say most of those words unless I ask her if she can say it, then she does and smiles proudly. I'm sure in a few months your son will be surprising you with how many new words he has learned. As long as he seems to be able to understand simple phrases or commands, I wouldn't worry that he isn't very talkative yet.

pb_bride · July 2014

Similar situation as PPs. My son is almost 20m now. At 18m, he only had 5 words and 5 animal sounds (though he could sign about 40 words). Between 18-19m, he learned a new word every other day. Since 19m, he is learning a new word daily.

ss265 · July 2014

lafayettegirl said:

DS has a list of words we know he can say, he just doesn't, especially not on command. Day car teacher says we should talk to our pediatrician because DS should be using at least single words consistently throughout the day. DS is advanced in his gross motor skills - running and jumping like older kids, but he is behind everyone in his class in terms of speech, even the couple of kids who are a month or so younger.

We have an 18 month checkup coming, so I plan on asking the doc about the teacher's concerns, but part of me also feels like DS is spending so much energy on his gross motor skills that he is just not devoting energy to speaking.

If you had a similar situation, what advice do you have to give? I don't want to freak out because I'm not sure anything is truly "wrong" but I also don't want to ignore a teacher's concerns, especially when she has several years of teaching experience and I am a first time parent.

I wouldn't necessarily assume that she knows best because of her experience. At the end of DS's first week of DC, he had his 2 month shots. The next week, his teacher mentioned that he just didn't seem like the same baby before and after his shots. Of course being a FTM, I started freaking out that the shots had changed him etc. Nope, he was just adjusting to DC.

Yes, they have experience but all kids are different. My DS didn't really start talking until closer to 18 months and like your son, he was pretty advanced in gross motor skills. Walking at 10 months, jumping early etc. Wait until your 18 month appt with your pedi before freaking out.

valeriegp · July 2014

I agree with PPs that you don't need to freak out. My son turned 18 mo on the 22 and had his appt a few days later. He was very close to what you described. He can say quite a few words but doesn't use them much without promoting. I explained this to the pedi (and nurse and resident) and no one was concerned. He is very capable physically and the pedi said that's just what he's been working on. He clearly understands tons of words and commands, and in the last week he seems to be trying to communicate with words more and more, so I'm confident that explosion is coming.

LyndseylovesHugh · July 2014

My DD knew 12 words at her 18m appt but rarely used them and never said them on command. Her pedi wasn't concerned because she did know how to say them. Now at 21.5 months she never shuts up. She had a huge language explosion around 19 months. So I would bring it up at your next appointment but I would try not to worry, your LO knows how to say words and will most likely start using them more and more.

cozybluebear · July 2014

Our pediatrician explained that boys are typically slower than girls at talking. She said that boys are more action oriented. My son says a few words at 17 months but follows 2 step commands very well.

mamaHippo23 · July 2014

My son can be like that too. He has a long list of words/short sentences he can say consistently, but many times he purposely chooses not to verbally communicate and will show me with his actions instead speaking. Boys tend to be busier and can't always be bothered to stop and talk when asked. Especially now, when everything is so interesting and they just want to be doing something active. My kid will chatter away when he feels like it, but if you look at him and tell him to say something he'll just stare at you (especially with non-family). I wouldn't be too concerned especially if he has the capability to speak, if he was completely not talking that's more of a concern.

mysticl · July 2014

My son is not a huge talker but one day I told him I had to make the rice for dinner and he went to the pantry, grabbed the bag of rice and brought it to me. So I know he can hear and comprehend. I think he's going to be one of those kids who just all of a sudden starts using complete sentences.

nikkisun54 · July 2014

To echo all the others, talk to your ped and take your daycare provider with a grain of salt. My DS sounds just like yours - he's 16m now and knows tons of words, but prefers to point and say "dis" or "dat" or sign, as I think it's an easier way for him to communicate for the time being. He doesn't even say Mama or Dada regularly - but you can bet he understands EVERYTHING we say, and knows who everyone is.

If it's any consolation, my daycare provider is at an in-home, but she's been doing this for over 15 years. I've expressed my concerns to her in the past and she's said the same thing everyone else has echoed - just wait, he's not ready yet. So just as an extra perspective, our kids are very close to the same age/behavior and our daycare provider is not concerned in the slightest.

lafayettegirl · July 2014

Thank you everyone! This is so reassuring. We will talk to the pedi, but I'm thinking he is on the right track and will start his own explosion of words in the upcoming weeks/months. We know he understands what we are saying, and every once in a while we say something that he repeats once or twice. So he can hear and comprehend.

Like so many other times I have posted on these boards, I am eternally grateful to all the other parents who share their similar stories, advice and calm reassurance that I am not insane!

You all rock!!

outnumbered · July 2014

I guess I will be that one poster who disagrees with everybody else. My youngest needed speech therapy. He had very few words at 17 months and if I had waited for a word explosion I would have waited at least another year. You do not need a referral for Early Intervention. You can just call and request an evaluation. If he does not qualify that is great. If he needs help and you keep waiting that is time lost. It really is not a big deal to call and get more info. It is not even a big deal to need speech therapy. Some kids just require extra help.

RMama2012 · July 2014

I wouldn't worry but I wouldn't wait much longer either. Any help he gets is precationary and its better to do that now then to find out in several months that you lost time.

pmduggan01 · July 2014

I'm in agreement with the last two posts. At my son's 18 month pedi appointment he was referred to a hearing and speech clinic. We just had his evaluation yesterday since the waiting list to get in was so long. I'm glad I made the appointment when I did because he is lagging behind in both expressive and receptive speech. (He is 21 months old now and has expressive speech of a 10 month old and receptive of a 12 month old.)

He'll be working with a speech therapist starting soon. I'm glad to have the early intervention and the professional help to get him up to speed.

With all that said, I'm not losing sleep over it. It is just something that I want to take care of for him for his future.

Elizabeth043086 · July 2014

To be honest I wouldn't be worried about it. Our first didn't say much at all atthis age. I vividly remember being thrilled and thinking he was so smart when he could say na-na which meant Henry, his little brother, when he was 17 months old, but looking back he DID NOT say much . DS 2 can say several 3 word phrases and it blows my mind all the words he says and understands and pronounce in perfect English. However, ds 1 was so skilled with the things he could do physically with his hands and ds 2 can't turn any of his toys on that ds 1 could. They are ALL different in my opinion.

DS 1 is the spitting image of my dh and acts just exactly like him and my dh just isn't a talker and I just think ds 1 stinks at communicating too.

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