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How to respond

PipSqueak0313PipSqueak0313 member
edited July 2014 in Special Needs
So I opened Facebook this morning and the top post was from SIL sharing this article  https://twentytwowords.com/new-mom-asks-what-kind-of-life-her-baby-with-down-syndrome-will-have-gets-a-surprising-response/  with SIL's statement that it reminds her of two of the bravest women she knows and then she names two of her friends.

 Part of me just wants to ignore it and do nothing, part of me wants to say nothing and "defriend" her (but then my parents wouldn't know what's happening in my brother's life because most family news comes from SIL's postings and my parents are not on Facebook), part of me wants to remind her nicely that her nephew has down syndrome and part of me wants to be a B about it.

 So how would you respond? FWIW, this is typical behavior from SIL.

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Re: How to respond

  • PipSqueak0313PipSqueak0313 member
    -auntie- said:
    Meh, it probably wouldn't bother me. But you're entitled to feel what you feel.

    If that is your SIL being who she is, defriend her. You don't need the cheap shots.

    If your parents are out of the loop, that's kind of on them to either join facebook or repair the relationship with their son. It's not your job.

    Talked to my mom, she said if I defriend her it's nbd since they are waiting to see how my brother responds to them anyway.......dh made the suggestion to hide her for a bit first....

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  • thefuturemrskudlathefuturemrskudla member
    Why not just tell her how you feel?
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  • ToastieSimonsToastieSimons member
    I say ignore.  My SIL would do things like that.  I just ignore it.  She'll make herself a fool.  I'll always be the bigger person.  I wouldn't respond either way. 
    To my boys:  I will love you for you Not for what you have done or what you will become I will love you for you I will give you the love The love that you never knew
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  • thefuturemrskudlathefuturemrskudla member
    Don't ignore something that bothers you, especially from someone who regularly see. Tell her it was a bs
    move, and be done with it.
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  • 3JTMom3JTMom member
    Sometimes what people don't say can be so hurtful. I hear you. But in the end is it worth it to make a big deal? I do think you should mention it to her, not on facebook. If we don't let people know when they hurt us, how will they know how to change. Maybe you have already told her time and time again. Blessings to you mama, the video was amazing!
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  • Princess_LilyPrincess_Lily member
    Seriously Kitchen, best blog share!

    A family member is a sped teacher, and family and friends sing her praise, like she is a martyr or something...i always hear what kind of disability the children she works with has.

    That blog perfectly describes how I feel. I sit and think of how I would feel if DS had a teacher like her. She is a great person, and I'm sure a great teacher...but I wouldn't want him to be a topic of conversation, discretion is ideal...its for a selfish cause that the kids in her care are discussed about.
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  • SophieTrue32SophieTrue32 member
    I am sure the best way to go about this is just to ignore that Facebook post. You should focus on nice aspects of your life instead!
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  • PipSqueak0313PipSqueak0313 member
    I finally settled on sending SIL and brother a private message and just stated why I objected to her post and that I was unfriending her due to how badly I was handling the post. The response I received from SIL was worse than the original post so I have decided that I'm better off with the limited contact that geographical distance brings. I could have understood if she had simply saiid, I'm sorry I inadvertently left you off......but for her to say "I forgot we were Facebook friends" and then launch into an attack of me for objecting......no, sorry, I refuse to try to understand that.

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  • Princess_LilyPrincess_Lily member
    I'm sorry that your dealing with a SIL who, by bump terms, is a twatwaffle.

    Some people hate when they're wrong, and will refuse to see others hurt/wronged by their own actions.
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  • CaptainSeriousCaptainSerious member
    edited July 2014
    kitchencolors said:
    I'd just share this on my feed: https://www.ellenstumbo.com/son-doesnt-make-special-kind-person/

    But I did that yesterday anyway :).

    I would also be hurt by the exclusion, but probably decide that it wasn't worth it.  I'd either hide her and move on or just ignore the whole thing.
    I love this.  It not only sums up how I feel about my children's special needs, but about adopting older children/children with SN/in general.  I HATE when people tell me how wonderful I am because of how my children came to our family.

    Pip, I'm sorry that your SIL isn't more thoughtful and considerate of your feelings.  It seems for the best that you aren't exposed to her posts any longer.
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