----- 2IF Weekly Check-In -----

GraceyandTroy · July 2014

Cycle Status:

QOTW: This is just a sucky day for a lot of the ladies around here. And I know there are a lot of you who respond with anger and others who are just deeply saddened and many other difficult and hear wrenching emotions that are so hard to carry for such a long period of time. I read at some point on this journey that infertility is like going through the grieving process, but not being able to come out of it. Every cycle, every month, every day is a broken record of grief. And when we're in this journey, we find support from each other, and also share each other's grief. It can become unbearable. So, my question of the week is one looking for hope and joy. Share what you turn to and how you find hope and joy despite the gut wrenching heartache that we're constantly burdened by. What brings you comfort?

GraceyandTroy · July 2014

Cycle Status: It doesn't even matter right now. I think I might o any day, but we'll see.

QOTW: It is only by the grace of God that I have not completely fallen apart. That my marriage is still intact and that I am a present and loving mom to my son. I believe that God is real and that He is good and that He takes an active role and interest in my life. But I also believe that we live in a world full of death. I don't believe God wants to hurt or break me, I believe he gives me the grace and love to survive and thrive despite the heart ache of this world. That's how I find hope. I believe that any joy I experience in this lifetime will pail in comparison of the everlasting joy that is waiting. I don't understand why it's so hard for some to get pregnant why others who don't even want their babies get knocked up left and right. And I really don't understand why God allows a baby to be conceived and then lost too soon. But I still believe God is real and that he's mourning with us and that he wants to comfort us and help us get through it.

I love this verse, Lamentations 3:22-24 "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore, I will hope in him.'"

annibes · July 2014

Status: I'm pretty sure I O'd- I have all of the regular post-O/PMS symptoms. It's a break cycle for DH to recover, though, so we didn't try again this month.

QOTW: The simple things. A perfect breeze, when DS does something clever, when DH fixes something, a day with my grandma... I try to find joy in those gifts, because I don't want to live my entire life feeling defeated because things haven't turned out exactly like I had imagined or hoped. There are still gifts within each day and I try to remind myself to look for them.

My mom has been gone for over 10 years, but every day I remember that she told me to always look for the bright side. I don't think it's always "bright" in a happy sense, but maybe sometimes we learn something, sometimes there is true humor to be found, sometimes we find strength we didn't know we had, or develop some more sophisticated thinking about a particular situation- endless possibilities. That's what gets me through my own shit, which seems so trivial compared to what other people go through.

vballgirl78 · July 2014

@StellaMakes3- I hope your squinter gets darker tomorrow! Fingers crossed for you!

Status: CD 4... nothing to report. All my tests from the RE came back good and now we have to wait until DH has his appointment with the urologist in August. We are hoping he can get in earlier off the waiting list. In the meantime... I'm thinking about trying acupuncture.

QOTW: This is tough for me to answer right now as I feel like most days I'm just bitter. I'm trying really hard to just stop and look at my beautiful DD whenever I'm feeling down. I'm so thankful I have her or I think I'd be in a much different place right now. As sad as I am that we are struggling to have #2, she is the love of my life and makes me so happy. DH and I are very lucky we have such a great little girl. I'm also trying to stay optimistic that we will have another child someday- just not right now. In the meantime... I'm trying to keep myself busy and I'm also focusing on losing some weight.

Bananappeal145 · July 2014

GraceyandTroy This is a really good topic this week. I've been really struggling with this never ending grieving process that no one really seems to understand but you all. It's so unfair, so unfair. Some days it just breaks my heart.

@StellaMakes3 well that is potentially very exciting

FX so much for you!

CD 5, heading into a heavily medicated cycle.

Getting rid of stuff in my house that I don't need, learning new things and routine. I've been studying and trying a lot of householdy stuff the old way (line drying clothes, baking bread, picking and canning my own food, making clothes) I also have specific things that I do with my daughter every week that we really look forward to. For instance, Wednesday is story time at the downtown library then play in the fountains, lunch and farmers market....and ice cream. No matter what else I know that I get that special time with Laurel and that I am making great memories with her.

And sometimes I allow myself to fall apart too. Trying to keep this shit together all the time is exhausting and sometimes you just need a break to cry and have hysterics before you move on.

pettycrocker · July 2014

Period is still MIA, another MFing beta tomorrow AM.

Every single night I thank God for all the blessings we have in our life no matter how crappy the day has been, and every night I write down the best part of my day- even on bad days, I'll find the smallest good thing and end my day with that. You can imagine how hard that was, the days I was in the hospital after the tube burst, but I DID IT.

Steph1673 · July 2014

Status: IUI day / CD13

QOTW: For some reason, I have thrown myself into researching/analyzing baby names, contributing on the baby name board and creating long & short name lists for singlets & multiples. For DH this has the opposite effect and he prefers not to talk about it until "we need to" but for me it gives me something to look forward to, some hope. And I also allowed myself to break down last night. Like @bananappeal145 said, sometimes you just gotta!

Mrs Castillo that's a great idea. I got the Gretchen Rubin Mother's Happiness Project Journal that I gave up on soon after I started and I need to get back into it. It's only one line a day and could do a world of good.

Frenchteachermama · July 2014

CD 26, waiting for AF. My temp went back above cover line today after my nose dive yesterday, I'm sure that has nothing to do with my sun burn and the wine I drank last night (lol).

QOTW: I've been struggling with this since my journey started over a year ago. I see my amazing grief therapist who specializes in women's infertility issues, I spend as much time as possible with my good girl friends who are supportive of me, I block people on FB who annoy me (i.e. my identical twin sister) and I focus on my future and my beautiful girls as much as possible.

CeCe8579 · July 2014

I'm CD5. God, my family and friends bring me comfort. Shopping helps too.

topaz7777 · July 2014

CD29. IUI Neg. Waiting for AF and CD1 to begin again.

QOTD: My DD is adorable, and sometimes I think... well this might be my only miracle, and if it is, I guess I can live with that. My sister was able to easily have 2 children and I'm thankful that at least she was able to have another. I'll just love hers a little more.

iheartsippycups2 · July 2014

2WW
I am just so grateful for my DS. He is my comfort. We struggled to get pregnant with him, and I am just so grateful that we have him & he is healthy. He makes all the disappointments a little easier.

efhoping2010 · July 2014

StellaMakes3 is the line getting darker? EXCITING!!!

Cycle Status: Waiting for July AF and planning to go to CCRM either by car or plane in mid July for ODWU pretesting there for IVF/ICSI #4.

QOTW: I try and keep myself busy with positive thoughts and hope and many prayers and my little ones. I try and picture what I want to happen with this cycle, I did this with previous cycles too, replay it in my mind with exact details, it is a comfort of sorts. Also long hot baths, with many tears spilled into the soothing water. And I always make sure I am reading something I enjoy to distract me. Work also is a huge distraction but there are quiet periods with too much thought.So I guess my answer is I do not know, nothing seems to work, but I keep up hope.

Have a happy and safe 4th everyone

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