How Many Kids Do You Want?

Jazibel · July 2014

Ok, my first poll (oh no I think I'm hooked!!!) ;-)
How many kids would you like (in reality? In an ideal world?), Who would carry? What type of siblings? How many years apart?

StacyLH24 · July 2014

I have no clear answer, but here is my best try at one...

C and I have always talked about having two. At this point, we will be eternally grateful to have just one. If we do get one out of our IVF journey, I'm not sure we will have another biological child. It will depend on how this all goes and if we have anything to freeze. We would not be able to afford a third fresh IVF cycle for at least 5 years and at that point we probably wouldn't do it again. Adoption is also on our radar.

That being said, we come from two different perspectives. I grew up as an only child. While it was difficult as a child, I am thankful for it now. I am very independent as a result. Sometimes to a fault I'm sure. Through my job, I see families who fight over the care of their elderly parents, etc. I am glad that I will not have to worry about that.

C is the oldest of four and comes from a massive family. I see them all and how close they are and I do envy that...at times. I also see the drama that is involved. All families have drama of course. I am thankful for her large family as I am truly a part of it and I have such a small family. It is nice to know I have all of them too. When she and her siblings all get along, I envy that. When they aren't
getting along, I don't envy it one bit.

For us, it will be a see as we go thing. We probably would max out at 2 simply because of the space in our house. If we get twins out of IVF, that will likely be it for us.

ATXmommas · July 2014

If money and time were no object, I would like 3 ideally. But, we're settling at 2. Now that we have one, Z would be happy to be one and done, but I remind her that she signed up for 2 when she married me! I feel very strongly about wanting to parent at least two children and providing a sibling to our children.

ETA: To answer some of your other questions - I'll carry both. Z is not the least bit interested. Ideally 2 to 2.5 years apart. I know it will be tough in many ways, but I like the idea of having children close in age.

firstcomeslove2013 · July 2014

I want 4 and C thinks 3...I think this will be something we discuss as we go!

KH826 · July 2014

I would like 3, and my wife says she wants 4. I am pretty firm about stopping at 3 at this point, but who knows what the future holds. I would love to carry all of our children, but we are still undecided about this -- my wife does not know if she wants to carry in the future. We would like to space our kids out by about 2 years, which would mean we would be TTC again at the end of next summer. We have said tentatively that we will decide about who will carry #2 by January... We shall see...

Mommy&Mum · July 2014

Team one and done over here!!! But I'm secretly hoping for twins and done! Boy and girl, dear lord if you are reading

Lol DW would never in a million years try getting pregnant, so it's all on me. If we don't get me preggers we will likely get another dog.

2MamazInSeattle · July 2014

I really always wanted 2. I'm the oldest of 4 and that was a lot and agreed about the drama (just today, my mom's bday being next week, 'highest paid' sister suggests an $800 item for mom's bday, meanwhile 'lowest paid' sister IM's me freaking out that she doesn't have $200; discussion ensues with third sister, who proposes a $300 item to each of us 1:1 and gets agreement...but..sigh. Drama!). That said, being that we are AMA moms (OLD, 43 and 45 when Simone is born) we struggle with 1) having enough time for me to pop out another while giving Simone proper attention and 2) having her alone in the world without us possibly/likely before she's even 50. So we will look at adoption for sure.

Amber&Reva · July 2014

I would love two because I am very close with my siblings and want my child to have a built in best friend in a sibling. However R wants to be one and done. I guess we will have one and then see if either of our opinions change. I will be fine with having one if my siblings pop out some kids soon so they could have a very close relationship.

Karlamo · July 2014

@mamosey and I are thinking 2 and done. We have an appt with our RE at the end of July to talk about TTC #2 with me carrying this time. We still have 6 frozen for us to start trying with. If I get preggers first try then our kids will be about 16 months apart. If we go through all 6 without me getting knocked up then it's back to my wife carrying and me supplying the eggs;)
Now tonight it's taken almost 2 hours to get R to bed, so one and done is looking mighty appealing!

Himee33 · July 2014

The plan for us is 3, but who knows. We could end up with a singleton, then twins, and we would have a 4th. I will be carrying all 3 but doing reciprocal IVF for the 3rd. I keep trying to convince L to carry #3. For now she has absolutely no plans on carrying, but if for some reason I am unable to then she will step up. The plan is also to have them at least 2 years apart, but I have learned nothing ever goes as planned. When I started TTC. I thought we would find an RE, find a donor, do an IUI and have a baby. Today we met with our RE to go over the plans for IVF #2.

Jazibel · July 2014

I always said 2 to 3, but I'm leaning toward 3. EV came from family of three (the youngest is 13 years younger). I have one brother who unfortunately is not doing well in life, and I think its unlikely we'll have cousins on my side of the family.

EV is not interested in carrying, and is only coolly receptive toward the idea of reciprocal IVF with her eggs (she has no desire to "reproduce" using her genetic material). I am secretly hoping meeting her nephew in November will change that because I'd love to meet her child. Anyway... If not IVF we'd likely go the KD route again. I would aim for the kids to be about 2 years apart again and try starting next May or June. I'm 37 now, so I feel a little pressure about the biological clock running down. Other than that though I love being an AMA mom. :-)

trisholio · July 2014

I always said that I wanted two kiddos. Well we got handed two beautiful girls in February knowing I was pregnant with another. So for right now 3 seems overwhelming, but it is going to be our reality for awhile. Alot depends on what happens with M and K. If we end up adopting them we will be done having any additional children. If they go home and we continue to foster then it will be a continued discussion. My wife always said she wanted a big family, until we had one, haha. She said 3 is perfect and we are so exhausted right now I cannot imagine having 4 or more.

2brides · July 2014

We've always said 2 (I am an only and wanted any potential child of ours to have a sibling and L is the oldest of 4 and felt it was too many (for her family.)) Thankfully, we got a 2 for 1 deal.

i am not sure we would have tried for #2 had we had a singleton given L's age by the time the kids were born (44) and the length of time and money it took to get pregnant. Thankfully, we didn't have to make that decision.

JGY · July 2014

I have always wanted more than 1 child (up to 3), but when S and I finally took the plunge into the TTC world, we had a pretty solid agreement that we would be 1 and done. That was based mostly on S's feelings on the matter, peppered with a bit of financial worry and then topped with my AMA. As I've mentioned in other threads recently, we are now actually considering TTC again. We're only considering it at this point. If we do move forward, and IF we are successful, we will absolutely be done at 2.

S and I both have siblings. I am VERY close to my Sister, and can't imagine going through life, or dealing with our (wonderful) parents and their future care without her. S has a good relationship with her siblings, but it's nothing like mine. I can't imagine life without a sibling, S thinks it might actually be a pretty good deal.

wishiwaspreggo · July 2014

We want 2, maybe 3. I will happily hand this whole TTC thing off to C when her time comes. I am glad I went through it, and I'm glad I got pregnant. I just hope I can carry the baby to term. But after this I'm finished. C knows she's next

Besides, I'd love a little baby C as a sibling to the baby I carry. We'll have to secure the same donor soon under her name.

redrockmama · July 2014

Our plan was that I would carry one and J would carry one. Then, we would foster or adopt 5 years down the road or so, probably older kids and/or siblings. After my somewhat traumatic birth I am rethinking only being pregnant once. It might just be all the post partum hormones, but I am kind of wanting to experience pregnant again without all the complications. We'll see.

ball.and.chain · July 2014

Probably has a lot to do with the fact that my 54 hour induction is pretty fresh in my mind and B is a cluster-feeding milk monster on womb time, but one seems great to me!

We were leaning that way anyway for financial, fertility and age reasons.

newmompeanut · July 2014

B and I have had this talk A LOT! We got together when I was pregnant with N and were very on and off during the whole pregnancy, so I didn't get to really experience a pregnancy with B by my side. That said I'd really like to carry another child, but B didn't get to experience carrying at all and would like to. The one thing we do agree on is that two would be out max.

Danni_Girl · July 2014

I’m an only child, so I would be perfectly fine with having 1 child. However, Jo has a younger brother, and she really wants 2 so that our children can have a sibling. At this point we are planning for 1, and then going from there. It would be awesome if we had twins. But I do not see that happening.

I will be carrying, but if for some reason I cannot, Jo will take over. 2 or so years apart would be ideal, but we will see what happens.

MagicInk · July 2014

We want 2, that way they can't out number us and overthrow us. I have no desire what so ever to be pregnant, if it were up to me we'd just adopt. But FI really wants to experience pregnancy. It's important to her. So we're going to have her get pregnant and then we plan to adopt the second child.

Ideally I'd like our kids 3-ish years apart. I have two younger brothers and they are three years apart from each other and it always seemed like a good age gap. Close enough they can still hang and get along, far enough that it isn't like having two the same age at the exact same time.

I'm biologically an only child, and with my mom I'm an only child. My younger brothers are my step-mom's biologically and my dad adopted them. One is 22 the other 19, I'm 28. So there was always a gap between us. I kind of grew up both as an only child and as an oldest. FI's background is even more screwy then mine. Technically she's the youngest of 3 (an older brother and sister) all within a year or two of each other. But when she came out her mom tossed her out and neither sibling speak to her anymore. But her dad (who is gay as well) adopted a little girl with his husband about 6 years ago. So she's also the eldest sister to a 7 year old (whom we love, she's awesome).

I love the idea of siblings closer in age. I didn't get that bond with my brothers. We're close, but I was always the much older sister who came around from time to time to tell them how to get girls to sleep with them. We've got a great bond now, but it's just...different. FI loves her little sister, but it's almost a 22 year age gap between them. Not exactly the same either. And she misses her older siblings, there were a lot of problems, but she says she misses having that other person who gets your crazy family like no one else does. I want my kids to have that. Cause good god they're gonna need it.

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How Many Kids Do You Want?

How Many Kids Do You Want? 42 votes

Re: How Many Kids Do You Want?

I'm 35, DW is 33
Together since Dec 2007
Married since 18 June 2011

TTC #1
1st IUI - trigger, 9 July 14 at midnight, IUI - 11 July 14 at noon - BFP!!
10 Dec 14 - Lost our Baby Girl to Hydrops & Cycstic Hygroma due to Turner Syndrome
TTC #2
2nd IUI - hoping to try for our Rainbow in the Spring

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Want a personalized experience?

How Many Kids Do You Want?

How Many Kids Do You Want? 42 votes

Re: How Many Kids Do You Want?

I'm 35, DW is 33Together since Dec 2007Married since 18 June 2011

TTC #11st IUI - trigger, 9 July 14 at midnight, IUI - 11 July 14 at noon - BFP!!10 Dec 14 - Lost our Baby Girl to Hydrops & Cycstic Hygroma due to Turner SyndromeTTC #22nd IUI - hoping to try for our Rainbow in the Spring

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I'm 35, DW is 33
Together since Dec 2007
Married since 18 June 2011

TTC #1
1st IUI - trigger, 9 July 14 at midnight, IUI - 11 July 14 at noon - BFP!!
10 Dec 14 - Lost our Baby Girl to Hydrops & Cycstic Hygroma due to Turner Syndrome
TTC #2
2nd IUI - hoping to try for our Rainbow in the Spring