Pregnant after a Loss

Clicky-poll Wednesday (CPW): Who has given you the most unsolicited advice so far?

2redtulips2redtulips member
edited July 2014 in Pregnant after a Loss

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First-time mom, 35+, parenting after a loss (mmc Oct. 2012 @ 8 wks), ttc for a year after loss

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Clicky-poll Wednesday (CPW): Who has given you the most unsolicited advice so far? 53 votes

My mom
11% 6 votes
My dad
0% 0 votes
My mother-in-law
16% 9 votes
My father-in-law
3% 2 votes
Siblings (mine or my SO's)
13% 7 votes
Grandparents (mine or my SO's)
0% 0 votes
Coworkers
20% 11 votes
Random acquaintances or strangers
15% 8 votes
Friends
9% 5 votes
SS
9% 5 votes

Re: Clicky-poll Wednesday (CPW): Who has given you the most unsolicited advice so far?

  • AnyMaxAnyMax member
    The majority of women at my office are older ...the clucking hens as I prefer to call them... so they know eeeeverything, especially the ones who have grandbabies, and they want to make sure I have all the knowledge.


                                                         
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  • classicstar28classicstar28 member
    edited July 2014
    I said my mom, but she really hasn't given me much unsolicited advice.  Probably because I ask her about stuff all the time so there isn't a chance.  However, she has definitely given me more random advice than anyone else.  I think that is because I only have one friend who has children and my in-laws don't really seem comfortable talking to me about my decisions. 

    Actually.....it might be my dad's gf who has given me the most unsolicited advice.  She's a RN and has said a lot of random things to me.  But, I don't pay much attention since she's always like that so I'll have to think about it.
    Me- 29, DH - 28
    BFP #1 9/27/2013, EDD 6/10/2014, Mmc 11/01/2013, completed with misoprostol 11/8/2013
    BFP #2 2/5/2014, EDD 10/15/2014, Lillian Verletta born 10/23/14
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  • I have this one friend who doesn't have her own children, is not pregnant, yet tells me how irresponsible it is that I will vaccinate my child because of how horribly painful it is for the baby to get shots (yes, in addition to the whole autism thing). She truly thinks it is the meanest thing a parent can do to their infant, and she knows this first hand because she is a nanny (?!).
  • @AnyMax - the clucking hens sound like so much fun (read: sarcasm).  Sorry you have to deal with that!
    image

    I chose SS because I actually haven't ran into too much unsolicited advice but of all the people who have given it to me the one I've got the most from has been my therapist!  I was a little surprised in one session with her she kind of gave me her parenting 101 spiel.  I actually agreed with a lot of what she said but I did find it interesting coming from her of all people :).
    Began trying for a baby January 2012
    BFP 4.25.2013  EDD 1.3.2014  MMC 6.3.2013  D&C 6.19.2013
    BFP 11.3.2013  CP 11.6.2013
    BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014 
  • Very few people know that I'm prego, so I don't have a wide panel to choose from.   I was out to breakfast with two gals who know I'm expecting and we were talking about things and the waitress was just into talking about it.  Hoping for the best, advice, her crappy experiences with people.  I have to admit, I'm very happy and lucky that my friends and family seem much more respectful that what she experienced.

    It was the first stranger moment, I'm sure it won't be the last!

     

  • My SIL and MIL were oblivious about pregnancy, what to do, and never actively TTC. They assume that I am also oblivious. I think they forget that I've been through this before and I've had years to read up and plan for this. My MIL asked me if I am taking prenatal vitamins. My response: "Yes, I've been taking them for over 3 years..." 
    Multiple TTCAL 1image
    image
     TTC #1 since March 2011 
    BFP #1: EDD 4/16/13~~blighted ovum w/ 2 gestational sacs~~Loss on 9/18/12
    BFP #2: EDD 9/3/13~~Slow HB at 1st U/S~~MMC -Loss on 2/13/13
    9/13, 10/13, 1/14: letrozole + trigger + TI = All BFNs
    3/14: IUI#1 letrozole/Bravelle/Menopur + trigger = BFN
    BFP #3: EDD 1/27/15 Please be our rainbow! ...Team Green


  • I actually almost made a post about this... I was discussing (hypothetically providing all continues to go well) possibly making things more public around 15 weeks or so, after meeting with my principal, and a coworker who is a friend who knows said "personally, I would wait. Your call, but you know..." And I know she was referencing my miscarriage at 10 weeks. Definitely not the "advice" I needed to hear - I mean I'm nervous enough to tell anyone, dont make it harder on me! :/
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
    BFP #1 10/5/13 MMC 11/13/13 D&C 11/15/13
    BFP #2 5/14/14 EDD 1/19/15 Beta 1: 728 Beta 2: 1858 We have a heartbeat! 166 @ 7w3d  Please be our RAINBOW!
    Baby G is a BOY!

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  • @deezidee04‌ seriously? That would make me so mad!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
    BFP #1 10/5/13 MMC 11/13/13 D&C 11/15/13
    BFP #2 5/14/14 EDD 1/19/15 Beta 1: 728 Beta 2: 1858 We have a heartbeat! 166 @ 7w3d  Please be our RAINBOW!
    Baby G is a BOY!

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  • I have this one friend who doesn't have her own children, is not pregnant, yet tells me how irresponsible it is that I will vaccinate my child because of how horribly painful it is for the baby to get shots (yes, in addition to the whole autism thing). She truly thinks it is the meanest thing a parent can do to their infant, and she knows this first hand because she is a nanny (?!).

    That's bananas!

    Baby GIRL born 12/11/14!!
    MC @ 8 wks 7/6/13 - ectopic @ 6 wks 12/28/13

     In loving memory of sweet baby HP, and all our angel babies. Forever in our hearts.image 
     
      image

  • I've been lucky so far with family and close friends. I know MIL is trying really hard not to step on toes, which I appreciate. But I'm only barely starting to show, and I'm off for the summer, so I bet the advice really ramps up in a couple months.

    What's a good response to the annoying advice? We've got it covered? Ok, thanks?
    Baby GIRL born 12/11/14!!
    MC @ 8 wks 7/6/13 - ectopic @ 6 wks 12/28/13

     In loving memory of sweet baby HP, and all our angel babies. Forever in our hearts.image 
     
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  • sgio7485 said:

    I actually almost made a post about this... I was discussing (hypothetically providing all continues to go well) possibly making things more public around 15 weeks or so, after meeting with my principal, and a coworker who is a friend who knows said "personally, I would wait. Your call, but you know..." And I know she was referencing my miscarriage at 10 weeks. Definitely not the "advice" I needed to hear - I mean I'm nervous enough to tell anyone, dont make it harder on me! :/

    @sgio7485‌ I'm sorry your friend was so insensitive. I think people don't realize how their comments come across to us loss moms sometimes. Good luck with spilling the beans soon!
    Baby GIRL born 12/11/14!!
    MC @ 8 wks 7/6/13 - ectopic @ 6 wks 12/28/13

     In loving memory of sweet baby HP, and all our angel babies. Forever in our hearts.image 
     
      image

  • I have one SIL who works for an OBGYN and another that works in labor and delivery. While this comes in handy sometimes when i have ridiculous questions, I wish they'd stop offering it when they aren't asked!!
    image
    MMC October 2010
    BFP #2 June 3, 2014
    Twins?  You mean two babies?  WOW!
    Team PURPLE!!
    We are excited to meet William Alexander and Harper Abigail in 2015!
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  • What's a good response to the annoying advice? We've got it covered? Ok, thanks?
    I pretty much just nod and smile.

    To the older ladies in my Zumba class who were overly concerned about me exercising, I told them I cleared it with two doctors. :-P

    _______________________________________________________________________
    First-time mom, 35+, parenting after a loss (mmc Oct. 2012 @ 8 wks), ttc for a year after loss

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  • SS...my LH's (late husband) mother.  i almost answered "MIL" because that's still how i refer to her, but she's not technically my MIL any more.  lol.  it's hilarious because this isn't my first rodeo.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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    BFP#1 EDD 04.20.2010, SUNSHINE baby boy born 03.31.2010
    BFP#2 EDD 12.07.2014, natural mc 04.09.2014 at 5w3d
    BFP#3 EDD 01.14.15, RAINBOW baby girl born 01.16.2015


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