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Single Parents
20thirteen
member
Little help? NBR
20thirteen
member
Ok ladies…
I am planning on writing a note to my friend, via text message, regarding that bullshit from yesterday that seriously made me sick to my stomach. I’ve spent all day yesterday and a lot of the evening thinking of a way to say what I want to say without her feeling like I am choosing between her and BF (which is not what I’m doing, but she’ll read it that way no matter how I phrase it). So, please, tell me if this is OK or if it conveys another message:
“I know that you have a problem with [BF] and I don’t expect you to change the way you feel about him. But what you said yesterday really bothered me. Because he is not a bad person, nor does his past come anything *close* to mirroring that convict that women are going nuts over. If it did, he wouldn't be around because I won't tolerate being hit and he wouldn't think twice about laying a hand on Harley since the tragedy that would befall him would not be close to worth it. I know you don’t support my relationship to him, but I chose to be in it. I’m a big girl, and I can handle the fact that you don’t like him. But I just don’t like the way you disrespect me by finding ways to make any negative comments about him when you see an opportunity. I’m not looking to pick a fight with you, because I do love you and value you as a person and a friend, I just wish you would respect me as a person as I do for you. I know you don’t support my decision, and that’s why I don’t discuss my relationship with you, even though this relationship makes me unbelievably happy and all I want is to be able to share happiness with you as I love to hear things that make you happy. If you can’t respect that, then I just don’t think we can be friends. And I want to be clear, I’m not choosing someone over you, I’m choosing to be around people who respect me regardless of the decisions I make. Because they are my decisions, good or bad. I want to keep you as a friend, because you have been a good friend in the past, even though we don’t talk on a regular basis.”
What do you guys think?
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Re: Little help? NBR
Throwing leaves
Throwing leaves
OP-- I am sort of a lurker (new to single parenting) and I read your thread from yesterday regarding this issue with your friend.
I think your response is well written and very articulate, but I think you will be wasting your breath. Sometimes, maintaing relationships just isn't worth it (don't we all know that--lol).
This person is not your friend. Maybe she's nice sometimes and has some good qualitlies. Maybe you share a past together. But right now, the relationship you have with her is doing you no favors. There is no room in any of our lives for negativity, especaially from someone that should be an ally.
I realize you don't know me from a hole in the wall, but my honest advice is to not say anything to her, and slowly start distancing yourself. Good luck.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
Throwing leaves
Haha ladies!
I will try to post more. I am so new to this so I don't know how much advice I can offer, but I enjoy the board.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
Throwing leaves
@helenahhandbasket who is your monday mancrush? Mine is charlie hunnam
Throwing leaves