Is it okay to be slightly disappointed in the sex?

dkarissa · July 2014

We just found out we are having a BOY!
Don't get me wrong, I am excited.
Excited to be in the know, be able to plan, and feel more connected to this kid.
But for the last few months, my dH and I were sure we'd have a girl. So my heart got set on that.
Now, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm slightly disappointed to learn he's a boy.
I know I'll love him unconditionally, but I keep finding myself slightly bummed we aren't having the little girl I'd dreamed of...
Anyone else feeling similarly?

PacoCat33 · July 2014

I think this is totally normal. We find out on Monday and if my LO is a boy, I know I will be a little disappointed just because I've been thinking girl for so long.

Don't beat yourself up! I'm convinced this is normal.

littleboyermoose · July 2014

I think there is a mourning period every time something doesn't go the way you expect it to. I think you're being realistic about it though, and recognizing it but realizing that your little boy is going to be an amazing gift. I think you will be okay

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jennkg3 · July 2014

Lurking from Jan14 (due Jan 2nd). We were told ds was a girl, I always wanted a boy and we already had a girl. I was a bit bummed but spent 5 or 6 months preparing for my second little girl, imagining my two little girls and all the things we would do together and they would share a room. I had the nursery closet full of baby girl stuff. When he was born and wasn't a girl I was thrilled, but I part of me mourned the little girl I was told I was having. A bit different but I get it.

dkarissa · July 2014

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who's been a little bit bummed.
Thanks for the support, y'all.
I know I will adjust to the new news soon!

nolanova85 · July 2014

I understand. It took me about 24 hours after finding out it was a boy to become comfortable and excited about it. I didn't even really realize I was hoping for a girl... but when they said "boy," I suddenly flashed on all the mommy/daughter bonding things I had been looking forward to that won't happen. For me, part of it is because DH and I are pretty set on just having one.

I also think this is normal in any situation where you start mentally preparing and getting excited for one thing only to have it change.

If it takes you more than a couple days to adjust your thinking, it might be time for some soul searching. But in the meantime know that you're normal. And like Scrappy suggesting, go get a few little boy clothes or a blue blanket - that will start making it seem real.

optix47 · July 2014

I can totally understand. We just found out this morning we were having another boy. I had already been telling myself that either way it is a blessing, but I couldn't help the disappointment ... And then guilt for feeling disappointed :-p. But it will definitely be forgotten when we see that cute little face in December.

keliaqt · July 2014

Congrats on your little boy.
I understand what you're saying completely. I'm a FTM and DH wants a boy so badly that if we find out we're having a girl (which I have a gut feeling we are) I will be slightly disappointed because I know DH is so dead set on having a boy first. I love this baby no matter what and I know he feels the same but a part of me is praying it's a boy because I want DH to be happy.

JulieSC81 · July 2014

Ive just been so concerned with having a healthy baby, i havent had time to care either way. I have a DS and honestly dont care either way. It will be our last and i just want a healthy baby. After having my own scare and seeing what women have gone through here, my heart goes out to them and a healthy peanut is all i want. Focus on that and your disappointment will fade quickly im sure. Good luck to you and your little baby boy

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dianeg1017 · July 2014

I think it's totally fine. I will be bummed if I'm having a girl. Everyone is like "oh as long as it's healthy who cares". Well I care healthy is always implied! But I want a boy lol!

jbthrow · July 2014

Totally felt that way with our son, as I had always wanted a girl. But now I'm so happy to have a boy that with this one I'd be totally happy if I'm just a mom of two boys.

Your heart will heal and there really is tons of cute boy stuff!!!

nopegoat · July 2014

I had a twinge of disappointment when I found out we were having another boy with my second. I think it's normal.

BrideLinds · July 2014

I can understand your disappointment. I would have felt the same way had I found my DD was actually boy. I wanted a girl the first time around so badly. Stay looking at cute boy things and go shopping. It should help lift your spirits!

Meether · July 2014

OP, it's still fresh, you'll soon get used to it. I've always wanted girls, and when we found out my first was a girl, I kept thinking it can't be real, they made a mistake. But then after a few weeks, I was like who cares if the baby turns into a boy, he will be the cutest little boy ever, and mine! She ended up being a girl and I was happy, but by delivery time, I was just happy to be having a baby!

vintagejjane · July 2014

It's totally normal, and I promise as the pregnancy moves on, that disappointment will go away and turn into excitement! And once he is here, you won't be able to even imagine not having him in your life.

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