labor buddies

LaBellaVida · July 2014

I'm sure it's too early to choose labor buddies, but curious when most choose them, and how people choose them.
I lurked my last board up until second trimester and everyone already had them.

(I didn't lurk often enough, otherwise I'd know the answer. )

LadyXaverian · July 2014

To clarify for those who don't know, a "labor buddy" is someone you partner up with who will be your contact person when you go into labor/have the baby who will report to the board on your behalf if you are unable.

We did this on my previous BMB. I don't remember how or when people chose them except that it was suggested that you tried to pair up with someone who wasn't due at the same time of the month as you (not that that guarantees you won't still have your baby at the same time, but...) and who you felt comfortable enough sharing some personal info with, like FB, personal email, and/or cell phone numbers for texting.

ETA: It was kind of awkward because at some points, people were posting threads that read like personals looking for a buddy. IF I have one this time, I'll probably just privately PM someone who I have already connected with and talk to a lot on the board. I think that's what I did last time, too.

nah82 · July 2014

The last bmb I was on had the person who ran the blog assign the labor buddies. Then half the people who had been assigned to people disappeared and were never heard from again. Honestly, it's kind of dumb to me. I'm not that emotionally attached to people on a message board that I will be waiting on pins and needles to hear the exact moment someone goes into labor. And I would not be in the car on the way to the hospital texting someone from a message board when I don't even call anybody in my family but my parents and let them spread the news. Sorry, cold hard opinions. The birth stories and new baby pictures are nice when mom feels able to get to it, though.

Beauxbaton · July 2014

On my last BMB if you wanted someone specific you just paired up and put it in the labor buddy threads. Everyone else who said they wanted one were just assigned at random. I had like 6 exchanges between my labor buddy. It was weird and awkward. And we lived on different continents. That's actually probably part of the reason it didn't work out.

But, this time I probably won't be doing it. I get that weird feeling that you get in your first college class that assigns a group project and you haven't bothered to get to know anyone, but you have yo pick your group. Like "man, I hope someone on here likes me enough to want to be my labor buddy, or I could end up with someone I dislike." With that said, if there was someone that I felt a connection with that wanted me to be their labor buddy I'd probably do it
But I don't want to be assigned one at random again.

NatureLovers · July 2014

I really don't think this is necessary. Do we really need eleventy billion posts of "So and so is in labor!!!11!!" And "yay! FX for mama and baby!" Can we just take it for granted that we all send those good wishes to whomever is in labor, and roll with that?

Beauxbaton · July 2014

I mobile bump anyway, so I'll probably just update you guys via mobile. Or just wait till I get home and type out a birth story.

longcat07 · July 2014

SO is super techy so i'm sure laptops will be going in the hospital suitcase. he'll probably want to bring his work laptop too, the weirdo. i can update right from the bed without the inconvenience of mobile bumping. lol.

Stargirlb · July 2014

Oh look how reasonable everyone is. On my other groups I've been the lone stick in the mud who is sitting out the special friendship club ritual

liladelphia215 · July 2014

I didn't participate in the Labor Buddies last time. Probably won't again. Chances are you won't hear from me for a week and then come back with a birth story.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

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LaBellaVida · July 2014

I totally get that is just as easy to mobile bump if you've got time.
I loved seeing the friendship though on my last BMB, and being excited when they updated the group on someone being in labor or had their baby.
If someone wasn't posting for a day or two everyone knew and would question where they were. Once your in labor or delivered it's very hectic (Imo) and instead of logging in to update, it's easier to send a text to your lb.

motherboy · July 2014

It shows how socially awkward I am because the idea of having to communicate with an Internet stranger one on one makes me cringe. If others want to do it feel free! I will just be MIA for a few days and then update with an adorable new baby pic.

YaMrWhite · July 2014

If I'm induced like last time (please no!) I can just say it myself.

LadyXaverian · July 2014

ICarriedAWatermelon said:

Someone explain to me why we should do labor buddies? We did them my last pregnancy, and I didn't get the point. It's equally labor intensive to post on here that I'm going into labor than it is to text my LB the same thing.

I have an old skool phone- no mobile. I mean, it's to each her own. It's not a requirement. One person can partner up and others can choose not to. Whatever works best for each person is fine, and it's nbd either way, I don't think.

LadyXaverian · July 2014

I'm definitely still getting used to the dynamic on this board. On my previous one, we got pretty close and definitely were waiting anxiously for updates from the regular posters who we got to know well. No big deal, though. LB or no LB, the babies will come.

LovelyLips · July 2014

I'm open to having one or not. Never had one and not fussed either way but I'm UK so different time zones to most of you ladies. That makes it hard to have a buddy really. No good me trying to tell my LB and she still be sleeping etc lol. If some one wants me as a LB cos I'm so awesome then I'm happy with that!

letsgox · July 2014

My last BMB had a lot of LBs. They came up with badges and everything. (I thought it was overkill, sorry.) I didn't have one and felt awkward about it at some points. People ended up sharing their own birth stories anyway, so I didn't see the point. There are definitely active posters that I will be excited for when they go into labor, and I'll send all the good vibes, etc. but I feel like it's not my news to share.

I'm not against LB, but it's not for me I don't think.

AlfiesMOM · July 2014

ICarriedAWatermelon said:

Someone explain to me why we should do labor buddies? We did them my last pregnancy, and I didn't get the point. It's equally labor intensive to post on here that I'm going into labor than it is to text my LB the same thing.

This I didn't do one because I could update myself. It was just as much to tell someone else as it was to tell people myself!

LadyXaverian · July 2014

So should we make "I am my own Labor Buddy" badges?

LadyXaverian · July 2014

jconno said:

I vote for not assigning labor buddies. I already have a few girls on here that I can tell when I go into labor. I don't really want to be matched with a random person I haven't really been talking to. Or, I could just update the board myself. GASP!

Oh, definitely not! That seems so weird. When we did it in April '11, we basically looked for our own and some people didn't look for one at all. It was very individualized.

Some people can definitely update themselves, but I don't have mobile, and last time, the wifi at the hospital was never working. But I'm not going to force myself on someone lol! If it's January and I disappear for a few days, you all can figure it out and I'll post when I get home.

mellie86041 · July 2014

I had a buddy assigned with my last BMB, and we exchanged a couple awkward messages and then she stopped being active by the middle of the second trimester.

My L&D progressed too fast to have updated prior, so I just posted DD's birth story when we got home.

amiej1227 · July 2014

If I feel up to it I'll do it myself, otherwise I might have my hubby do it.

YaMrWhite · July 2014

muskiefan07 said:

My last BMB had a lot of LBs. They came up with badges and everything. (I thought it was overkill, sorry.) I didn't have one and felt awkward about it at some points. People ended up sharing their own birth stories anyway, so I didn't see the point. There are definitely active posters that I will be excited for when they go into labor, and I'll send all the good vibes, etc. but I feel like it's not my news to share. I'm not against LB, but it's not for me I don't think.

I'm not into it either. But you know if we both were, you would have to be mine

TXUltraRunner · July 2014

This sounds really silly to me

Pips09 · July 2014

I also don't think they are necessary. People can just post a birth story after the fact.

Lanatir · July 2014

My last BMB assigned labor buddies... The girl who did it gave you buddies due around your same time... She did groups of 3... The other 2 went into labor basically at the same time and neither told me, nor each other. And I had no clue who they were, anyway, so I sort of didn't care.

No offense, ladies, but I think DH is my labor buddy... And maybe an epidural (if I don't have to be induced this time, maybe I can brave it out without one, but we'll see).

luciddreamer106 · July 2014

I'm undecided about the LB, at least for a BMB. The idea of randomly assigning sounds so weird to me. So , I'm supposed to give my personal info to some random person who might barely be active or has disappeared by the time labor comes around? No thanks.

LadyXaverian · July 2014

I don't know what BMBs randomly assigned people, but it was little more organic on mine previously. I agree that random assignments are weird. I think asking someone to post on your behalf if you don't think you'll be able to is fine. I think if people want one, they should ask someone privately. Whether you decide to have a LB or not is no big deal, and I hope if some people choose to do it, they won't be ridiculed for it.

Megs528812 · July 2014

I think they're silly and don't won't one, however if people do they should get one. NBD.

letsgox · July 2014

YaMrWhite said:

muskiefan07 said:

My last BMB had a lot of LBs. They came up with badges and everything. (I thought it was overkill, sorry.) I didn't have one and felt awkward about it at some points. People ended up sharing their own birth stories anyway, so I didn't see the point. There are definitely active posters that I will be excited for when they go into labor, and I'll send all the good vibes, etc. but I feel like it's not my news to share.

I'm not against LB, but it's not for me I don't think.

I'm not into it either. But you know if we both were, you would have to be mine

---------------------------------------------------
Honestly, I thought the same thing about you! Maybe we'll be pseudo LB and just be awesome bump besties like @sassquatch‌ and @katnhiding‌

YaMrWhite · July 2014

muskiefan07 said:

muskiefan07 said:

My last BMB had a lot of LBs. They came up with badges and everything. (I thought it was overkill, sorry.) I didn't have one and felt awkward about it at some points. People ended up sharing their own birth stories anyway, so I didn't see the point. There are definitely active posters that I will be excited for when they go into labor, and I'll send all the good vibes, etc. but I feel like it's not my news to share. I'm not against LB, but it's not for me I don't think.

I'm not into it either. But you know if we both were, you would have to be mine
--------------------------------------------------- Honestly, I thought the same thing about you! Maybe we'll be pseudo LB and just be awesome bump besties like @sassquatch‌ and @katnhiding‌

Done! :x

KJsbabe · July 2014

I had a LB last time and it was really pretty pointless. I had a scheduled c/s, so it wasn't like I was waiting to go into labor at any given moment. I texted her after DD arived and she updated for me, but she didn't say everything I told her. It way only like 3 sentences, but all she basically said was "KJsbabe had her baby. It's a girl." It was pretty dissapointing.

Then when she had her baby she didn't text me until a week later. I updated everyone, but yeah, pretty pointless.

I bump 99% of the time from my phone or iPad, so it's just as easy for me to post as it is to text. No LB for me this time.

Cbeanz · July 2014

Last time around my husband was my labor buddy and I'm opting to stick with him.

alibc123 · July 2014

I don't think we need to have LB. At this point there is a big enough FB group that if we post on there most of us will already know, and with the mobile bumping I don't think it's that big of a deal.

LaBellaVida · July 2014

I'm Def. Not needing a LB, I didn't have one before and I updated when I could. I think it would be fun to have one though this time around if I became close and comfortable with one of ya'll.

If not, that's cool too.

Maybe us June 13 girls can all be LB.

we'd have 2 boards to update after all. :P

jennkg3 · July 2014

I'm with you all I don't need or really want one haha I have enough to do chasing my two kids around to updated someone else's labor! We brought our ipads to the hospital last time so I guess maybe I'll update then.

LadyXaverian · July 2014

alibc123 said:

I don't think we need to have LB. At this point there is a big enough FB group that if we post on there most of us will already know, and with the mobile bumping I don't think it's that big of a deal.

There are a lot of people not in the FB group and there are people who don't mobile bump.

ETA: But agreed that it's not a big deal either way.

Lanatir · July 2014

LadyXaverian said:

alibc123 said:

I don't think we need to have LB. At this point there is a big enough FB group that if we post on there most of us will already know, and with the mobile bumping I don't think it's that big of a deal.

There are a lot of people not in the FB group and there are people who don't mobile bump.

ETA: But agreed that it's not a big deal either way.

I think you only mean me. haha

No FB group and no phone capable of connecting to an internet, much less am I going to pay for a data plan if I had a phone capable of it or find the network key for our wireless... haha

LeadMitten · July 2014

No labor buddy for me... I am a lone wolf.

nah82 · July 2014

Lanatir said:

LadyXaverian said:

alibc123 said:

I don't think we need to have LB. At this point there is a big enough FB group that if we post on there most of us will already know, and with the mobile bumping I don't think it's that big of a deal.

There are a lot of people not in the FB group and there are people who don't mobile bump.

ETA: But agreed that it's not a big deal either way.

I think you only mean me. haha No FB group and no phone capable of connecting to an internet, much less am I going to pay for a data plan if I had a phone capable of it or find the network key for our wireless... haha

I have a dumb phone and no intentions of joining the FB group, so you aren't the only one. Still don't need a LB though.

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