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Happy Birthday Rant

bravegrace22bravegrace22 member
in Trouble TTC
So today I turned 26 (yes I know this is not very old). I wasn't super freaked out by this birthday and honestly wasn't making a big deal out of it. However, it's been a rough morning so far..my husband works nights & i try to work my day around his schedule so that we can spend some time together- we didn't go to bed until 3:30 this morning; i 'sleep-temped' at 7a and then sprung awake at 9:30 and sprinted to find my husband in the bathroom because i realized we had to leave to bring his SA sample to the hospital. That was our first interaction of the morning, not a kiss, not a 'good morning', just rushing to get out the door and an awkward car ride. I knew we were doing all of this today, but i guess i didn't expect it to sink in like this and make me really aware of just how old i am and only starting this whole process. IF has opened up a can of worms, so to speak, because there have been many other things that we have felt like it's unfair that we have 'done everything right' and have been forced to wait. It's tough not getting jealous of the people who don't have their shit together and somehow seem to be handed everything you so desperately want. 
Oh, not to mention, finding our dog had chewed through his hiking pack and eaten 2 granola bars while we were gone so I'll be on poop patrol all day because one had chocolate in it. OYE
Anywho, gonna try to turn this birthday around some how. Suggestions welcome :)
image
Me:26 DH:27
Married Oct 2011
NTNP for about a year before actively 
TTC since April 2013
Currently testing for infertility cause and hormone imbalance.
Infertility & ovarian cyst diagnosis: May '14
B/W: 'good', more ordered to check antibodies & progesterone
SA: Normal :)
U/Ss for cyst: who the f knows
DH's cat scan: showed encapsulated fatty growth; u/s: didn't really show much more
Breast Specialist: Most likely a large fibroid, but keeping an eye on it, repeat u/s every 6mos 
HSG: clear tubes, uterus is A-ok
WHAT'S NEXT: DH's consult with surgeon to discuss next step for growth, either biopsy or surgery~Big discussion with Dr. before any possibility of starting Clomid, since I'll want another u/s before and to be monitored and he doesn't seem into that. I had to force his hand just to order the AMH test so may be looking for another OB
~All welcome :) ~
Cycle 3 of OPK; Cycle 2 (this time around) of Temping

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Re: Happy Birthday Rant

  • athlete010688athlete010688 member
    Happy Birthday!!

    DH: 34  
    Aug 2013 - SA: Counts & Motility = great, Morph = 1%; RE didn't seem too concerned

    Me: 26
    Jan. 2014 - Blood work ordered by obgyn:  Prolactin = high & AMH = low (0.73)
    Feb. 6, 2014 - Repeat blood work ordered by obgyn:  Prolactin = normal & AMH = low (0.9)
    Feb.  20, 2014 - First appointment with RE
    Feb. 24, 2014 - HSG scheduled;  DX:  one tube definitely open & one tube could be blocked
    Mar. 7, 2014 - CD 21 Blood work for Progesterone; DX:  Progesterone level at 5.2; shows I ovulated but was low
    Mar. 28, 2014 - Laparoscopy; DX:  Tubes open.  Found some endometriosis and had that removed.
     
    History:
    Started TTC:  June 2012
    June 2012 - March 2013:  When it Happens/it happens method = BFN
    March 2013:  Started using Fertility Friend
    Cycles 1 - 15 with Fertility Friend = BFN
    Cycle 16 - Benched due to Laparoscopy
    Cycle 17 - Natural Cycle = BFN
    Cycle 18 - Natural Cycle = BFN
    Cycle 19 - Natural Cycle = BFN
     

    Current Cycle:
    Cycle 20 = Natural Cycle


    image
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  • BunnyBerryBunnyBerry member
    It's your birthday, you can cry if you want to. :) I'm so sorry, that is a tough way to wake up. You deserve a wild birthday pity party complete with cake and balloons! 

    26 was the year that hit me hard. Maybe because I was expecting 25 to feel like a big one (we'd already tried over a year by then), and then I wasn't mentally prepared, so when 26 hit it was a big shock and got me pretty down for a couple days. What helps me is reminding myself of the ways I've grown as a person, or our relationship has grown, or we've become more stable or more prepared to be parents, and remind myself what a blessing that will be to our kids. :)
    January 3T Siggy Challenge - New Year's Resolutions
    image
    imageimage

    Me (29), DH (30) TTC actively 54 55+ cycles | All BFNs
    MFI (low everything) | Endo Stage 1 & Stenotic Cervix (treated) | PCO
    Married - July 2008 | Started TTC - Jan 2009 | RE Visit #1 - Mar 2014 
    IUI #1 ICI #1 - June | IUI #1.1 Laparoscopy - Aug
    IUIs #1.2, 2, 3 - Sept, Oct, Nov (Letrozole) - BFNs 
    IUI #4 - Dec (Bravelle) | IUI #5 - Dec/Jan (Bravelle) - 5 follies + TI - BFNs
    IUI #5.1 - Jan (Bravelle) Cancelled 
    Planning to start IVF in March!
    ***All Welcome***
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  • TiffW2012TiffW2012 member
    Happy birthday!  That does sound like a difficult way to bring on a new year.  I'm sorry you had to go through that.  To turn it around, I would say go to a nice birthday dinner, drink all the wine, and have some good non baby-making focused lovin' with your H.  Hope this day turns around!
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  • nswain85nswain85 member
    Sorry that your day started off on the wrong foot but happy birthday!!! Maybe get something yummy for dinner or go get a nice pedi?? Hope your day gets better :)

    Trying to have baby #1 since April 2013

    DH SA March,May 2014 - Low motility and shape issues. On vitamins per RE to help

    Me testing April 3, 2014 - FSH and LH good, HSG showed blocked right tube

    April 29, 2014 - First RE appt., right tube needs to be removed and possibly left also if

    it's bad too. RE suggests going straight to IVF

    June 4, 2014 - LAP/HSC and unexpected endo. removed but tubes got to stay!

    June 13, 2014 - Post-Op appointment. We decide where to go next since main issue

    is MFI influenced. Trying naturally until decision... Repeat SA  in September. Aiming for IUI #1 November 2014.

    image

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  • bravegrace22bravegrace22 member
    Thank you all for the birthday wishes & kind words, they were certainly needed today! I ended up just giving in to my pity party with full intention to turn this funk around this weekend. (hubby's first 4th of july off in 8 years!!) 
    I did absolutely nothing productive, got chinese, watched crap tv, and googled my brains out. lol
    On the upside, I have some pretty spectacular friends who sent me sweet texts, notes on fb & even called and sang happy birthday to me. I seriously don't know what I'd do without them most days; i'm super lucky to have my little family of crazies. 
    BunnyBerry-i did have a mini dance it out, whiskey party a la grey's lol & i hear ya i had a little freak out last year, only because we had thought we'd be done by then and had started really ttc (ti, temping, charting, etc) it was easier then to think we had just missed our window those months. thank you for the reminder that it has been time well spent. we've been together for 10 years so we've done everything 'young'. we knew early on that we wanted to get married and have kids so we didn't expect to start so late. but i do have some days when i think 'i can't even imagine throwing kids into the mix back then' and even right now it's hard to picture so i totally agree that the more time spent working on us will be beneficial. :)
    iPutKetchupOnKetchup-:D i love those memes; thanks for the laugh!


    image
    Me:26 DH:27
    Married Oct 2011
    NTNP for about a year before actively 
    TTC since April 2013
    Currently testing for infertility cause and hormone imbalance.
    Infertility & ovarian cyst diagnosis: May '14
    B/W: 'good', more ordered to check antibodies & progesterone
    SA: Normal :)
    U/Ss for cyst: who the f knows
    DH's cat scan: showed encapsulated fatty growth; u/s: didn't really show much more
    Breast Specialist: Most likely a large fibroid, but keeping an eye on it, repeat u/s every 6mos 
    HSG: clear tubes, uterus is A-ok
    WHAT'S NEXT: DH's consult with surgeon to discuss next step for growth, either biopsy or surgery~Big discussion with Dr. before any possibility of starting Clomid, since I'll want another u/s before and to be monitored and he doesn't seem into that. I had to force his hand just to order the AMH test so may be looking for another OB
    ~All welcome :) ~
    Cycle 3 of OPK; Cycle 2 (this time around) of Temping

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