Clueless DH — The Bump
Trouble TTC

Clueless DH

DH and I have been TTC for over a year and finally are starting Fermera this month. I've recently had to take progesterone and he's kinda clueless about the effects of taking hormones and what they can do to our bodies/moods/etc. He's' never lived with a woman other than myself when we moved in together, so experiencing mood swings like this is all new to him. Does anyone have a good recs for any websites or books that can help him. I want him to understand a general idea of all these things we put ourselves through to have little ones. It's so frustrating for me that he just doesn't believe me that sometimes I can't help it and as my BF would say, my "emotional responses may not be situationally appropriate". Thanks for the help!!

Me: 31, PCOS

2nd round of P4 to induce AF. Metformin 2,000mg daily x2months - no change.

Medicated cycle #1 Femara 2.5mg x 5 days + Novarel = BFN.

Benched to redo labs, trying new meds. Starting Clomid next cycle. 

Some people just need a high-five...in the face...with a chair.

Re: Clueless DH

  • I gave my DH the drug description handout.  He is more understanding of me being potentially hormonal on the fertility drugs than when I'm naturally PMSing.  He also talked to a friend of his who's wife went through the same thing and that has helped him understand that it's not just me and that I obviously don't want to feel like shit.


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    Me: 33, DH: 35
    Married 10/13, TTC since 7/13
    Dx: MFI
    IUI #1 7/14: BFN
    IUI #2 8/14: BFN
    IVF #1 11/14: 20R17M15F
    Transferred 1 three day embryo! 7 frosties!
    BFP!  EDD 7/27/15



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  • I second PP on What to Expect When You're Expecting - the author really focuses on the emotional support aspect of hormones.

    Sounds like YH is lucky you've not been a moody person before this! :) Sorry I have no good advice. MH is kind of a poopyhead about all that. The one thing that started to get me a little sympathy in all this was taking him along for an IUI from hell. For like 2 days he seemed to realize how hard this process is for me. :)

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    Me (29), DH (30) TTC actively 54 55+ cycles | All BFNs
    MFI (low everything) | Endo Stage 1 & Stenotic Cervix (treated) | PCO
    Married - July 2008 | Started TTC - Jan 2009 | RE Visit #1 - Mar 2014 
    IUI #1 ICI #1 - June | IUI #1.1 Laparoscopy - Aug
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    IUI #4 - Dec (Bravelle) | IUI #5 - Dec/Jan (Bravelle) - 5 follies + TI - BFNs
    IUI #5.1 - Jan (Bravelle) Cancelled 
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  • ky29ky29
    2500 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
    member
    I read the "What to expect when she's not expecting" but I don't think DH did (even though I wanted him too).  But that was quite a while ago.. when he wasn't too interested in learning about these things.  Since it's been 2.5 years, he's changed a lot.  I think it just takes them a while.  Now he's always asking questions & has learned a lot. 

    What I would do is give him a warning..  Tell him what drug you'll be on & research side effects.  That way he's not caught off guard & knows what to expect.  I always know before I'm about to have an emotional breakdown, and I'll tell him.  He's more understanding that way & doesn't think I'm as crazy.

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    TTC since March 2012
    DX: MFI (4% motility)

    Cycle 13: Natural cycle w/ HSG test = BFP
    Identical twins! 
    Lost my angel boys at 10.5 weeks

    Cycle 14-16: Natural Cycles = BFN
    Cycle 17: Follistim + Trigger + IUI = BFN
    Cycle 18: Natural Cycle = BFN
    Cycle 19: Follistim + Trigger +IUI#2
    Polyp found: SIS 11/11 - hysteroscopy 11/14
    Cycle 20: Follistim + IUI#2 = BFFN
    Cycle 21: Follistim (adj. dosage) + IUI#3 TI  = BFN
    IUI cancelled due to weather
    Cycle 22: Follistim + IUI#3.1 = BFN

    Cycle 23: treatment break, IVF consult

    Cycle 24 - 26: natural cycle w/ acupuncture + Chinese herbs = BFN
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    Cycle 30: IVF#1 - Starting with Menopur + Follistim + Ganirelix
    17 retrieved, 12 fertilized, 5dt w/ 2 blasts, 5 frosties
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  • We haven't started treatments yet but I have taken progesterone before and have started testing so i just told him what I could be like while taking it. I think it helps to bring him along to appointments if he can; when I had my vag cam ultrasound he felt so bad for me after! I did warn him but I got lots of sympathy after!

    Anyway, my plan at the moment is just to talk with him about the meds before i take them and let him know what it could be like. I might also get the book mentioned above!
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    Me: 26 DH: 27
    TTC #1 Since Aug. 2013
    Cycle 1: O CD 25=bfn
    Cycle 2: O CD 48=bfn
    Cycle 3: Anovulatory/Provera =120 days!
    Cycle 4: Anovulatory/Prometrium=127 days! RE consult 6/16
    Me: Anov/poss. pcos?  HSG=normal/SA= Normal 
    July/Aug. 2014= Femara+trigger+TI=BFP!!
    Beta #[email protected] 16dpo=626!! Beta #2=1510
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  • My hormones must have been unusual because I had the crazy, psycho, mood swings, hot flashes, and acne before taking progesterone and bromocriptine orally. I'm a sane, calm lady now. I feel for you both. It's not easy on both ends. It does traditionally take the guys longer to understand and get involved because they don't go through as much.

    The "what to expect" books are really good. I haven't read "what to expect when you're Not expecting". I'll have to pick that up. I do have "what to expect before" and "what to expect when".
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  • Thank you everyone for your advice! I will definitely get both books. I told him to google, "what to expect from my wife's moods while on fertility drugs". lol Did anyone have the same mood swings on Fermara as on Clomid?

    Me: 31, PCOS

    2nd round of P4 to induce AF. Metformin 2,000mg daily x2months - no change.

    Medicated cycle #1 Femara 2.5mg x 5 days + Novarel = BFN.

    Benched to redo labs, trying new meds. Starting Clomid next cycle. 

    Some people just need a high-five...in the face...with a chair.

  • ebliss444ebliss444
    10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    member
    edited July 2014
    Since my husband is not a reader -- unless said article has an espn in front of it (!) -- I just try and clue him in occasionally on the effects of the meds, if a particular procedure or test was uncomfortable, etc. At least he has a bit more sympathy than if I just snap at him or start crying!
    Tried for two years, finally a BFP!
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