Curious...potty question.

GalLaura · July 2014

I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this. My mil swears my dh was potty trained at 1 year old. I'm not buying it! Lol. Anyway, my dh wants me to put our lo on the potty every day. He says it's not to potty train him but to condition him to the potty. I have said I don't want to do it. I think it's not necessary at this point. What are your thoughts? Is anyone doing this?

CoffeeBeanFiend91 · July 2014

I bought her a potty for her birthday but it's just sitting there. At about 18 months I'll start putting her on it to get used to it. But I won't be forcefully training her.

LaBellaVida · July 2014

My MIL said my DH was potty trained at 1 too. I don't believe it! They can't even comprehend what they are doing, let alone know to use the toilet.

My first was 2 (around his birthday) and my second was 3!
I just follow the cues, if they are ready I'll start but I Def. Won't force. I think it's silly and a waste of time to even place them on the potty now.

tiffletons518 · July 2014

DS has started bringing me diapers when he needs a butt change. I think he knows he doesn't like the feeling, but I don't think he would understand the potty. DD1 was over 3. DD2 had just turned 2. So, I may start between 18 months and 2. But, I really think it's too soon.

ASmallWonder · July 2014

Have it if you want, let her sit on it if she wants to. There's nothing traumatizing about the potty itself - it's a control issue for kids and they have to have the physical ability to understand peeing and pooping, what it feels like and how to control it. We had Aiden's potty out for him around 1 (because I saw it and thought it was cute and had no place to store it lol). He didn't potty train until he was 3.5 (we'd been working on it for more than 6 months). Every kid is different but it's really not something you control, which sucks lol

BunnyLove416 · July 2014

I'm exhausted by just the idea of potty training him right now, the amount of time it would take just to herd him to the bathroom...

BunnyLove416 · July 2014

smpeachey said:

@BunnyLove416‌ that's a love tit of agreement. I am not glad you are exhausted.

haha @smpeachey I assume the best of all love tits

ASmallWonder · July 2014

BunnyLove416 said:

I'm exhausted by just the idea of potty training him right now, the amount of time it would take just to herd him to the bathroom...

Honest to God, the hard part about it is doing it when the kid isn't ready. It's like trying to nail jello to a tree. If the kid isn't having it, you are just wearing yourself the fuck down trying to force it. But what sucks is that obviously you have no choice but to introduce it to them and try to work on it because it's not something they're going to understand without exposure and being taught. When you do start working on it I'd just honestly say that no kid goes to college in diapers so don't kill yourself. We pushed it hard for weeks and weeks and then backed off, dealing with it casually and on Thanksgiving he decided he was ready and that was just that - no more accidents.

tiffletons518 · July 2014

elmoali said:

BunnyLove416 said:

I'm exhausted by just the idea of potty training him right now, the amount of time it would take just to herd him to the bathroom...

Honest to God, the hard part about it is doing it when the kid isn't ready. It's like trying to nail jello to a tree. If the kid isn't having it, you are just wearing yourself the fuck down trying to force it. But what sucks is that obviously you have no choice but to introduce it to them and try to work on it because it's not something they're going to understand without exposure and being taught. When you do start working on it I'd just honestly say that no kid goes to college in diapers so don't kill yourself. We pushed it hard for weeks and weeks and then backed off, dealing with it casually and on Thanksgiving he decided he was ready and that was just that - no more accidents.

Oh my God all of this. DD1 was like this. I tried every "potty training trick" in the effing book. She just wouldn't do it. We ended up going on vacation to visit family and her cousin is a year older than her. We got back, she decided she wanted to use the potty like her. Bam. That was it. Didn't have accidents or anything. No matter how much I was doing right, SHE held the power. Once SHE decided she was ready, it was easy.

WasNotWas · July 2014

What Elmo and tiffletons said! I was miserable trying to potty train Bradley and then one night he told me he wanted to wear big boy underwear all the time and boom he was potty trained. We have had only a handful of accidents since. It's really something your child will do in their own time. I would tell your MIL that in the states they focus more on cognitive and physical development over bathroom etiquette @GalLaura‌

musicalsilver · July 2014

I don't see any harm in introducing the potty now. I read "Diaper Free Before 3" ( or something along those lines) and it encourages just getting LO acclimated to the potty like your DH has suggested. We've been putting LO on his potty first thing in the morning just for a minute or two in the mornings just to do that. We're certainly not expecting potty training to happen any time soon, it's just to get LO used to it (and has the side benefit of being so much easier to clean up than his first morning poop diaper).

Eta: I'm seriously loving the nailing jello to a tree analogy :-D

ilovemarfa · July 2014

I would really be shocked if your husband was potty trained by 1. Boys are typically harder to potty train than girls. Ds1 started pooping on the potty consistently by age 2 and was potty trained completely by 2.5. Everybody I know said that he was early for a boy. I never forced it though. He is the one who indicated he wanted to go on the potty. Potty training was the easiest thing in the world for us because of that. I think that if you force it, things will be harder in the long run.

WasNotWas · July 2014

O and I think it's important to note that potty training it's really ever over. You are still wiping butts and you trade changing diapers in public for using every public restroom that exists. And accidents happen, cleaning up a poopie diaper is about a million times easier than poopie underwear

ilovemarfa · July 2014

@WasNotWas‌ hit the nail right on the head. I actually preferred diapers over underwear. Maybe I'm lazy but it it a pain to lug a 3 year old and a baby into the bathroom of a store because ds1 has to do his business. Frequently he doesn't even have to go, but would like to just see the bathroom. I don't know what is so fascinating about public restrooms but I think all kids like to see them and will say that they have to use the bathroom just to see them.

musicalsilver · July 2014

@sctiger - I've read that a lot as well (about the risk of bladder and bowel issues), but I haven't seen any studies supporting that - mostly a lot of articles by one particular vocal pediatrician (Brazelton).

This is a study (albeit from 2003) that showed that early starts to potty training (here considered around 14-19 months) are not correlated with constipation, stool withholding or stool toileting refusal (which are the bulk of the arguments I see against early potty training) - but also that starting earlier doesn't mean that you will necessarily complete potty training earlier.

This is a more recent study that also supports that early potty training is not associated with dysfunction elimination syndrome.

I'm very interested in this research, since LO goes to a Montessori school where they begin (more or less) intensive potty training around 16-18 months.

If you have some studies that show that there are negative affects with early potty training, I would definitely be interested in reading them to balance out the other findings I've discovered.

@ilovemarfa - I know you said you'd be shocked if OP's dad was potty trained by 1, but it was a very different time then. In the late 1950's, over 90% of children were potty trained by 18 months (statistic found in this New York Times Article), so I don't see 1 year being that out of character with that time.

tiffletons518 · July 2014

Oh I forgot about the wanting to see the bathroom everywhere. you. go. And, needing to go RIGHT NOW when you're on the opposite side of the store or in the car. I mean of course not buying diapers is nice. But, do not be fooled friends. Having a potty trained toddler is in NO way more convenient.

ASmallWonder · July 2014

Amen to diapers being easier. They always have to go when you have a cart full of food on the side of the store opposite the restrooms. And to them, public bathrooms are fun (eew). Aiden has to peerightNOW! every time we're in Target. Oh and for you luckies with boys - having a short kid who will only pee standing up is like, a whole new level of bathroom disgustery (yeah, I made that a word). Because well, their little business really can't clear the rim of the toilet but they won't sit, won't be held...it's a battle you will gladly trade for the ease of diapers.

nikel13 · July 2014

I will say that I put Lily on the potty after bath time every night. Not for acclimation or even for her to really potty. I noticed that if I put her on the potty after bath time, she wouldn't pee on my floor. That happened after a bath every time. She is very aware when she poops and doesn't like being in it. Lily also will go through a nap with a dry diaper here and there as well as sometimes have a dry diaper when we are out and about. That being said, I don't expect anything right now. I am really just putting her on the potty because she would consistently pee on my floor in less than a minute. Now, she doesn't pee in the potty and doesn't pee on my floor.

MorganWP · July 2014

We started DD on the potty around 9 months. We noticed that she made a little face when she was pooping so my SO held her over the toilet and sure enough she pooped. Shes been doing it ever since, there were some times that we would miss it like when she was sleeping or a 'mystery poop'.

But now we put her on every so often and she pees or poops or does nothing. Plus we've noticed that she really only poops once in the morning and then again at night so its easy to miss a poopy diaper. Its so nice not having to change them anymore. I dont expect her to be fully trained any time soon but its a start.

Should also mention that we've just been using the toilet and a little 'seat' that sits on top. Not a little potty.

GalLaura · July 2014

@WasNotWas‌ haha! I should tell my mil that!!!

I'm not going to start potty training for sure. I'm still on the fence about sitting him on the potty once a day though. Just think its a waste of time.

@MorganWP‌ my dh bought the same type of seat that you mention.

bumpuser8448316 · July 2014

I started putting DS on the potty before his bath at 16 months. At 2 and 2.5 I made miserably failed a attempts to PT him. 4 days after he turned 3 he asked for underwear and that was that. He trianed himself in a matter of days and never had a single accident. When they're ready it's easy. When they're not it's a struggle