anyone else want to punch their hubs in the face?

SillyMe80 · June 2014

We have some stress going on right now. We just moved. My husbands job just transferred him. We have an active 3 year old. I just got diagnosed with GD this week and don't see a nutritionist till next week. It is frustrating that I cannot move heavy boxes around and do other moving things that I would normally do, so he is bearing the brunt of the work. I understand and appreciate that. He is also working over time and taking extra work when he can (aka, gigs. He is in a band) to help cover moving expenses. I truly appreciate that. However, he is taking all of his hard work and holding it over me. I am stressed with my recent diagnosis of GD, my reoccurring bacterial vaginosis, taking care of our son and just general third trimester woes.

Basically, I feel like he thinks since he is carrying the load, I have lost my right to any emotional needs and have lost the right to need help handling my stress and worries. We have been fighting horribly and the stress is killing me. I cry all of the time. I tell him that with everything going on in addition to my hormones, it is rough not to feel worn down.

When he gets mad he says awful things to me. Last night we were bickering and he looked me in the eye and told me that he couldn't stand me anymore. Honestly, who says that to their pregnant wife? Anything I say starts a fight. I don't want to fight in front of our three year old, but it is happening more than I care to admitt.

It is breaking my heart. I am trying to pull my weight with the move and handle my stress, but I feel lonely, I feel worn down, I feel disconnected from myself and my husband, and I just feel sad. I try to express this to my husband and I get maybe a couple minutes of somewhat kind words before he starts fighting at me.

Am I a crazy bitch? Is it just hormones? Anyone else feel like they are going crazy in their 3rd?

Sorry for the long vent. I needed it.

afk2013 · June 2014

Pregnancy can be hard on a marriage, and is even harder when anxiety comes into play. It sounds like both of you have a lot on your plate, and that is causing some anxiety/strain. Is it possible to set aside time for just the two of you? I also second counseling…maybe that will help.

Hang in there. It's seems like it's sometimes hard for men to understand how stressful and difficult pregnancy can be.

SillyMe80 · June 2014

Thanks! I think we both need a nap . .. And some time together. It has been a really stressful couple of months.

PrimRoseMama · June 2014

Counseling is a good start.

Also, see if you can't get some help during the day? Barter services or look to nanny share? I hired a Mother's Helper for 10 buck an hour when I was in 3rd trimester. Even just two hours to have someone play with my toddler so I could lay down was a God Send. It was well worth the money.

Have you talked to your OB about antenatal depression? It's nothing to be ashamed about & doesn't mean you can't cope. It just means you need a little extra help.

Your husband really needs to try to have more empathy for your situation. I get stress etc. that does not entitle him to say horrible things to his pregnant wife. Good luck.

Emilyfae · June 2014

I have a lot of stress in my life. Family drama, moving across the country with only a carload of stuff and waiting for the rest of the stuff to arrive (it's been months), FTM without family near by, DH in military and probably deploying soon. I choose to pick my stresses and battles. I know that there are a lot of things I could get upset about, and sometimes I do, but to preserve my sanity I only allow myself to get upset and stressed about a handful of things. The rest I can deal with after the baby is born. Let the small things slide more often and I swear you'll be happier.

jazarce · June 2014

I totally get you, and you have to let go! Right now is not the moment to worry about anything else but you. Follow your Dr's directions, forget about unpacking and putting everything on its places , all you need right now is your 3 year old's room to be set up and your new born's crip.
Is your hospital bag ready ?
To me those things should be your priority, after that it ready you can take care of 1 box at a time. About your husband... Give him some space! Don't overwhelm him asking for help to move boxes or stuff like that, he is as stress as you. Take it slowly and everything will be fine

SillyMe80 · June 2014

Thanks everyone. Our son stayed at a Grandparent's last night and we had an evening alone. It was just what we needed. We did a little light work on the house, we had some QT and we talked it out. We both cried. We both feel better and I think we are back on the same page communication wise. Thanks to you all for the support!

cozybluebear · July 2014

It sounds like you're both overwhelmed which can cause him or you to say things that you don't mean. Take a break... go on a date!

makaelashook2 · July 2014

I would definitely consider talking to a counselor. I've always said men don't understand what women go through, and honestly can be big douches sometimes.

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anyone else want to punch their hubs in the face?

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