How are you handling the hot topic: baby sleep?

savedgracie · June 2014

I'm a little obsessed with infant sleep, and I'm wondering what's the most common tactics for infant sleep. I'm asking for specifically the 3-6 month old age group.

bumpuser10054788 · June 2014

We've been following a loose EASY routine (times not set in stone).

Our LO began sleeping mostly through the night in her crib (12 hours with one wakeup to eat) on her own. Her current bedtime is 8:00-8:30pm. We've had a little bit of a regression recently (13w) where she is waking more often/being more fussy at night but she still only seems hungry once a night.

Naps have been more of a struggle. She only takes long naps in her R&P in the same room with me. I'd been letting her do that for a while and she was a much happier baby once she was well-rested.

Unfortunately we see her likely outgrowing the R&P in the near future (she is a long baby) and so are trying to teach her to take her naps in her crib as well. I've also been trying to put her down drowsy but awake at naptime and bedtime.

So far, she is being a champ with "drowsy but awake" if I put her down in the calm, droopy eyelid stage. However, she only naps for about 20-40 mins in her crib before waking up. After waking up, I'll generally let her fuss until she starts to cry and then go to her. At this point there is about a 50% chance of me getting her to go back to sleep.

I hate to see her OT and don't want to use CIO at this stage. So far I'm trying to keep my resolve and hope she gets used to it, but I'm unsure if it's working and unsure how long before I break down :P

SamanthaJoD · June 2014

I am totally obsessed with baby sleep too, and I have been since 2nd trimester of pregnancy! I feel like it's SUCH a touchy subject. I probably would never have second guessed letting my twins cry a little before bed if I had not seen how controversial it is on these boards. Maybe I'll get flamed, but I just started using the Ferber method on my 20 week old twins. After doing a lot of research (from books, articles, podcasts, talking with my pediatrician) I'm convinced that a little crying is worth well rested babies.

I've been observing my girls the past few weeks and even though I get them in their cribs when I first see their sleepy cues, they just have a really difficult time dosing off some times. Once they are asleep they sttn (they have been since about 12 weeks), it's just getting them to sleep initially that's the hard part. I've tried rocking, the swing, shushing, patting and it doesn't matter, they just cry and rub their eyes like they are really super tiered. I feel so bad for them because I can see how tiered they are, and nothing really helps. I decided that I feel comfortable with starting ferberizing now at 20 weeks. I decided to just start with three minute intervals to see what happens. The past few night I put them in their cribs, kissed them on their heads, said goodnight, left the room and started the timer. So far it's working great. They are done crying well before the three minutes are up. Only once did I have to return to comfort/reassure after the first three minutes, and then that baby went to seep after another 2 minutes of crying.

This isn't for everyone, and I don't think I could handle letting them cry for much more than 5 minutes at this point, but perhaps my babies are just really good canidates since it only takes a few minutes. I don't feel bad about it at all, I'm relieved that they are getting the sleep they need! Judge me if you want

TeacherVicky · June 2014

None of the answers apply to us.

I won't sleep train until 6m, but with my LO's I started putting them down awake at around 10w of age. From that moment on, they both started going down awake and falling asleep on their own. If they had a hard time settling, I would help them by soothing.

ETA: I was obsessed with sleep with DS and am again with DD. You are not alone!

TeacherVicky · June 2014

TB should consider having a Sleep board. This is probably the MOST popular topic amongst moms.

TeacherVicky · June 2014

lbs2012 said:

TeacherVicky said:

None of the answers apply to us.

I won't sleep train until 6m, but with my LO's I started putting them down awake at around 10w of age. From that moment on, they both started going down awake and falling asleep on their own. If they had a hard time settling, I would help them by soothing.

ETA: I was obsessed with sleep with DS and am again with DD. You are not alone!

I like this approach and still consider it to be a type of sleep training. I think the term sleep training is very broad and not limited to certain methods. Any time you change an existing sleep pattern or association, you're essentially teaching (or training) your child. Our son is 'sleep trained' but that doesn't mean he still doesn't occasionally need a little help or reassurance and DH and I are happy to keep helping him along as necessary. We're no longer having to walk and sway for 20-30 minutes for naps & bed...a few pats or a song are enough when necessary and something we still cherish.

Ok then I'll rephrase: I won't let LO CIO until after 6m of age.

TeacherVicky · June 2014

lbs2012 said:
I hope my response wasn't taken wrong. I liked your response because it supported that there are many ways to 'sleep train' which don't involve CIO. It seems like a lot if people associate sleep training with CIO only.

Not at all! I understood your POV.

I guess I also didn't consider what I did as sleep training at all because with both LO's, I would start putting them down awake with the mindset that it was practice. If it wasn't working, then I would've reverted back to the old method of putting them to sleep (because they were so little).

jenmae123 · June 2014

We were blessed that DD is a good sleeper. She started sleeping through the night at 2 months old and has always been in her crib. I still enjoy rocking her to sleep but I do let her fuss a little before naps. I do not in any way mean that she screams her head off, let me please make that clear, but she will often move around, roll onto each side and grunt/crab till she gets comfortable and then she's out like a light. It almost reminds me of how I fall asleep lol

It amazing how controversial sleep methods are, but you have to do what works best for you and your baby. My husband and I are terrified of co-sleeping, we had a pack n play all set up in the room but she seemed to like the crib and we could watch her on the video monitor. I read Baby Wise, the Ferber books and so many blogs about sleep training as well.

roo1oo · June 2014

I've been an advocate of fuss-it-out. Most of the time I put LO to bed drowsy but awake. At night, he falls to sleep on his own without any fussing. For naps there's often a few minutes of fussing unless he really doesn't want to take a nap, then he screams. If he screams, I go get him and we try again a bit later. I've found if I hang around and help him fall asleep, he gets upset because he wants me to hold him to fall asleep, so if I just leave, he rolls around, finds a comfy spot and falls asleep.

I have been putting LO to bed at night drowsy but awake since very young, probably 6 weeks old or so. I also established a consistent bedtime routine at that age. I think that's been a huge help. LO knows when he gets a bath and/or gets zipped into his sleep sack that its time for bed. He gets one last bottle, kisses from mommy and daddy and then put into the crib.

I along with DCP started doing a routine for naps as well. That has helped him go down drowsy but awake for naps, but that didn't happen until recently. Before that he would cry unless he was bottle fed to sleep.

Also, once I stopped obsessing over how much sleep LO was getting and started enjoying the awake time and the process of getting LO to go to sleep, I was much more relaxed as a mom. I highly suggest that everyone not worry about the numbers, and just worry about establishing routines that let LO know its time for bed or a nap. Baby will nap as much as she needs to.

meglettx · June 2014

I think a huge deal is that there's a difference between fussing and crying. I started around 6 weeks with my LO because he stopped sleeping anytime anywhere and began being fussy at nap time. I would let him fuss as long as he wanted but if he CRIED I would only give him 5 minutes at first before I would go in, pat him, tell him I loved him and that it was time for night night. I would say we did this maybe 2-3 weeks? And it began getting easier quickly. I would work up the time to about 10 minutes because as they get older you can tell the difference in their cries when something is wrong and when they just got overtired or something. Right around then he began sleeping 10-12 hours a night and I thought man I have it made!! Then about 3 1/2 months we went through some sort of sleep regression or something and he began waking twice a night, he was difficult about taking naps again etc. Now at 5 months he is SUPER at falling asleep, is working his nights back up again (we are getting more like 8-10 with a dream feed about 2-3 hours into that) and he is taking better naps again. Not always, last night he was up at 5 again but I think he was extra tired and that seems to affect his sleep. The better he sleeps, the more he sleeps!

Unknown · June 2014

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Unknown · June 2014

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flcl · June 2014

lbs2012 said:

aditigirl said:

I think a huge deal is that there's a difference between fussing and crying. I started around 6 weeks with my LO because he stopped sleeping anytime anywhere and began being fussy at nap time. I would let him fuss as long as he wanted but if he CRIED I would only give him 5 minutes at first before I would go in, pat him, tell him I loved him and that it was time for night night. I would say we did this maybe 2-3 weeks? And it began getting easier quickly. I would work up the time to about 10 minutes because as they get older you can tell the difference in their cries when something is wrong and when they just got overtired or something. Right around then he began sleeping 10-12 hours a night and I thought man I have it made!! Then about 3 1/2 months we went through some sort of sleep regression or something and he began waking twice a night, he was difficult about taking naps again etc. Now at 5 months he is SUPER at falling asleep, is working his nights back up again (we are getting more like 8-10 with a dream feed about 2-3 hours into that) and he is taking better naps again. Not always, last night he was up at 5 again but I think he was extra tired and that seems to affect his sleep. The better he sleeps, the more he sleeps!
It's so depressing to me that you'd let your 6 week old INFANT CIO for any amount of time.

And your babies never cried for 5 minutes or less for ANY reason? Even in your arms? I find your pointed remarks to be very interesting.

Baby sleep is such a sensitive subject. While I don't know much on the topic of sleep training through my own personal experiences as my LO is still too young, I believe there's a big difference between my baby crying in my arms as I'm trying to soothe him vs leaving him to CIO alone.

ETA: spelling >.<

luvmygirlss · July 2014

I agree, every other forum has one:)

johncrise · July 2014

I think we are in the minority here. Our little guy is already sleep trained based off our needs AND his desires. He has slept 10+ hours through the night since 2 months and he very rarely ever wakes during that time, unless he is going through a noticeable growth spurt.

My guy is a very happy & easy going baby until he gets tired. He fusses a little so I know it is time to put him down (which works both for naps and for bed time). I am okay with letting him put himself to sleep, which to clarify, means: Fussing lightly until he falls asleep. If he begins to "cry" a will come into the room, re-tuck him into his blanket so he feels comforted, and put his wubba nub (pacifier) back into his mouth. I do not have to stay in the room with him. (I do have a sound machine and projector which I know also help to pacify).

Because of my repetition it always works. He almost never cries because I respond quickly, but I never pick him up or take him out of the crib. I am always there to comfort if he truly needs me, but I try to give him some distance as well. This is our method that I have continued because of trial and error. I have never have personally read baby books but obviously I am happy with our routine.

I believe there is a gray area between CIO and coddling - I choose to be in the middle. I don't judge anyone on their sleeping routines/parenting because I believe every baby is different and everyone is individuals. I think there should be less judgment from other parents and more support & love. Being a mother, or a father, is a tough job that deserves some real kudos!

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