2 year old won't eat dinner

MrsThirdBird · July 2014

LO has recently become pickier in his overall eating habits as soon as he turned two, but specifically at dinner.

He only wants cereal for breakfast, no fruit at all.

At lunch he eats a sandwich and yogurt, not really a problem.

Dinner is the problem. He only wants to eat a few select things, ie hotdogs, chicken nuggets, or mac n cheese. He won't try other kinds of meat or vegetables. He won't even put them in his mouth. We've tried making a big deal out of it, we tried ignoring it, we tried not giving him anything, but no luck.

Anyone have any input? It would be greatly appreciated.

RedDDD · July 2014

my feeling is its a phase....I noticed my son the other day said he didn't want to eat dinner. Fine, I didn't fight it because its just not one of those things I feel like battling.....a little while later I watched him (when he thought no one was looking) walk over and start eating. Huh....interesting kid. To me it was a power thing. When I refuse to give him the power he eats. On the other hand if hes not hungry then I don't force it. I guess for me its a pick your battles thing and I choose not to battle. One day we will all sit down like normal people at the dinner table and eat our dinner but Im going to guess it wont happen with a 2 year old and a 9 month old (in my case).

GL!

RedDDD · July 2014

Nicb13 said:

RedDDD said:

my feeling is its a phase....I noticed my son the other day said he didn't want to eat dinner. Fine, I didn't fight it because its just not one of those things I feel like battling.....a little while later I watched him (when he thought no one was looking) walk over and start eating. Huh....interesting kid. To me it was a power thing. When I refuse to give him the power he eats. On the other hand if hes not hungry then I don't force it. I guess for me its a pick your battles thing and I choose not to battle. One day we will all sit down like normal people at the dinner table and eat our dinner but Im going to guess it wont happen with a 2 year old and a 9 month old (in my case). GL!

I do pretty much agree with all this but the "phase" for us has gone on for about 6-8 months and although I act like it doesn't bother me...it does. I stress over this.
I also notice it being a power struggle with DS and if we ignore him, he eventually wanders over and eats a few bites. Also, the timing of a meal is very important. Often DH and I eat dinner shortly after we are home from work, around 5:30 and DS isn't hungry until at least 6:30.

thats tough....all you can do is keep trying. Like other PP said he wont starve. In our case the kids eat early ...like 5:30 and then we eat after. I really dislike this phase where none of us are eating together but it just doesn't work right now when they are so little. Last night I went to bed and realized I didn't eat. When is he getting his last snack or meal at DC? seems maybe his last snack is too late and then he really isn't hungry?? just a thought.

TeacherVicky · July 2014

theresat858 said:

LalaMama81 said:

They get a choice for breakfast and lunch, dinner is what I serve. They can't be picky and only eat hot dogs & mac and cheese unless you make it for them. Don't make them junky "kid" food. Make the same healthy food you eat. They don't eat? NBD. They won't starve.

This.
Very few kids will actually starve themselves. Most kids will just be as picky as you let them be. Don't give him the choice of you making a different meal. Let him be upset. Offer at least one thing you know he has liked in the past, and that's it. If he doesn't eat, he doesn't eat. He'll eat at the next meal. We do sometimes offer yogurt before bed if DD didn't eat well at dinner.

Ditto all of this.

I give DS a choice of 2 things for breakfast, again for lunch and he has no say in dinner. I've always said that we decide what/where/when and he decides how much. I have a sister and a SIL who prepare separate meals for their picky kids and I have alway said that I refuse to be a short order cook. If he skips dinner, it's ok. He always gets a fruit before bed so I know he'll get something in then anyway, but I never do anything different than I would on a typical night when he does eat well.

greyt00 · July 2014

My son (22 months) still won't eat "our food" for dinner. He ate nearly anything we gave him from about 9-11 months. Then he got picky. I have an older child who has many major issues, including feeding. I was so happy that DS2 would eat SOME real food that I just gave him what he wanted, for a long time (read: a year). I still offered him ours but he got other stuff. I know that was a mistake but it was all I could handle doing at the time. In the last month or 2 I got tough and at dinner DS2 gets at most a cheese stick and veggies he likes, but other than that, it's just our food. He won't even try it. The cheese is because DS1 gets it (I feel terrible letting one have it and not the other) and the veggie is so he won't get constipated. Since I cannot send DS1 to eat and live in another house, and his issues are so extreme that he is not even growing appropriately, I don't know how else to handle. Sometimes I think DS2 WOULD starve even though he LOVES to eat. Maybe in a year he will come around. In the meantime, I hope he does OK. And of course we are constantly working on DS1 but in a child who doesn't even grow appropriately, you have to give them what they'll eat, while working on the problem. Due to medical conditions, DS1 is a child who WOULD starve. Honestly, DS2 does very well tolerating DS1 getting different food, except for cheese. It's a favorite. So both get some.

christinasullie37 · July 2014

I was juat about to post the same thing. Only dd ia refusing to eat every meal. It is so hard and I am tired of throwing out food every day. We give her choices, tried making a big deal, teied ignoring it, etc. Pedi is useless with this issue. Dd has had issues since we started solids. I agree with all the ppl. They wont starve.

emberlee3 · July 2014

I like the advice of Ellen Satter and the Feeding Doctor (Google them).

I serve family friendly meals with 4-5 different foods at each meal (fewer at breakfast). It doesn't take much effort to add bread and fruit to whatever you're serving. I usually serve food family-style and let the children serve themselves. We cook together, shop together, and have a small garden.

It is a journey. There is no quick fix. I served pulled chicken to DS almost weekly for 2 years, and he finally ate it last week. I served apple slices daily for 2 months before he tried one. Hang in there!

mamaHippo23 · July 2014

If he eats well at breakfast and lunch, then make those meals as healthy and varied as possible. Have fun with those by trying lots of different recipes/ combinations and you can probably pack most of his needed nutrition into those meals, and then dinner can be more of a wild card where he might only eat a few bites of spaghetti or whatever you're having. For example- at lunchtime add extra veggies to his sandwich and extra fruit in his yogurt (maybe blend it in if he's super picky). Experiment with different kinds of sandwiches and if he eats Greek yogurt that's plenty of protein and calcium. I don't see it as sneaking it in, because if you start always making his food with lots of nutritious things then he'll still get used to it and actually like it more because he'll associate it with his favorite foods. You're not trying to hide anything or deceive him, because what you're adding is good for him so there's no reason to feel bad about it.

I'm not opposed to the occasional "eat this or don't eat at all" approach and I'd rather take his plate away if he refuses the food, than let mealtimes become a big battle.

lizok22 · July 2014

Great thread, same issue at my house. My dinner times were all screws up since I worked late and rarely cooked anything. Now I am home and trying to rein in his bad habits which I helped create.

janinekrause · July 2014

DD 1 was a great eater so I never really understood this. She is 5 now and although wont eat some foods, is better than most.

Then came DD2 who was picky from birth. She just wasnt into food the same way,and would forgo many meals when we started solids. We have worked worked worked on it, a variety of ways (including many of the above). Unfortunately there is no magic answer and every kid is different. But fast forward at 2 1/2- while she isn't a great, varied eater, she is leaps and bounds from where she was. DH and I put tons of energy into it, because at least 50% of my friends kids wont eat anything but certain "kids" foods and it drives me crazy. We had a BBQ last weekend and served hamburgers, BBQ chicken, pasta salad, salad, and veggies and 2 of the kids almost ate nothing because those arent foods they eat. It blew my mind because they are pretty basic foods- not like I served asparagus and salmon :

Ya Never Know · July 2014

DD has become pickier with food at dinnertime lately too, and she's generally a really good eater. What I've found to work with getting her to eat her fruits and veggies is to mix them in to things.

She doesn't always want to eat her fruit, but if I blend them in to a smoothie, she'll gulp them down.

Recently she hasn't had much interest in veggies either, so I make a spaghetti sauce and blend the veggies in with a food processor (which actually makes a really freakin' awesome sauce!).

I find I have to get a lot craftier with the meals we do at dinner now, it's almost an art form..
:P

Tink112011 · July 2014

DS is pretty picky. I don't recall the last time he ate a vegetable (other than the obligatory taste).

I'm very opposed to drama at mealtime, so whether he eats or not is a non-issue. There are many days that I'm not hungry for dinner and would skip it altogether if I didn't have to feed my family. I also have my food preferences and have to be pretty hungry to resort to a food that I don't really care for.

I keep my own habits and tendencies in mind when feeding DS. Dinner is what it is. He can eat it or not. His dinner plate stays out past dinner, and if he says he is hungry I direct him back to his dinner plate.

I do always serve fruit with dinner, which I know he will eat.

sunnyday016 · July 2014

LalaMama81 said:

They get a choice for breakfast and lunch, dinner is what I serve. They can't be picky and only eat hot dogs & mac and cheese unless you make it for them. Don't make them junky "kid" food. Make the same healthy food you eat. They don't eat? NBD. They won't starve.

I agree.

Also, it's a rare toddler who will eat well at all 3 meals every day. DD is 5 and usually will eat a good amount at 2 of her meals, and will eat very little at the 3rd (doesn't usually eat much at dinner). DS will eat a decent amount of food at all meals, but not a ton of variety. I just remind myself that it is my job to put healthy food on their plate, it is their job to eat what they want from the options I have given them on their plate.

Amandak2012 · July 2014

I am thrilled to hear there are stubborn toddlers like mine! I am at my wits end! I have tried everything from hiding it in foods to just putting it on her plate to no snack if she doesn't eat. She doesn't care and just goes on and plays but she gets so cranky as the evening goes on! My problem is if it isn't chicken nuggets, Mac and cheese, bread or pizza (not homemade) she doesn't try anything! I mean refuses to even pick her fork up but to play in her food. We are fairly decent healthy eaters (I'm not saying we are perfect, but we do try!) and we are always encouraging her to just try it! I've gone as far as bribing with junk food to get her to just try it...jokes on me because she still refused. But here's the kicker! She will eat all kinds of baby food from carrots to squash to green beans and fruits of all kinds but the minute I put the "big kid" version on her plate she won't even lift her silverware! Now she will eat applesauce and anything of that consistency. I do try and make sure she eats at least 2 good meals so I know she isn't going to starve but still it's so hard to watch her walk away from dinner with nothing when I know she is hungry!

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