Waiting...

CaraH · July 2014

I feel like I'm in limbo, just waiting to actually start this pregnancy. Never mind that I have developed symptoms and it's the first thing I think about in the morning. Or that I regularly recite 'today I'm pregnant.' I still feel like I'm not REALLY pregnant. I think a big part of it is that our loss milestone is still three weeks away, and until I hear that heartbeat it looms as the 'real' pregnancy test. But, the other is that we've agreed not to tell anyone until after that ultrasound. In the past, we've at least told those intimate to our life at six weeks or so. But, my husband is feeling superstitious and asked that we not share the news at all this time. I'm actually not sure we are going to share at all until 12 weeks. We have a 4 year old who has already had to understand one loss, and I don't want to do that again if I can avoid it. But, keeping the secret from a kid living in the house means we barely talk about it ourselves. And yet, I'm obsessing about it, mashing my boobs, relieved to be sick. I've decided it's the tww on steroids. Really good bulking steroids with scary side effects. 15 days to the ultrasound.

lorifromwi · July 2014

Hang in there! I'm right there with you on the waiting...it's so tough. Fx

footprint · July 2014

Big ((hugs)).

Samuelismomma · July 2014

Hugs...been there:( how far along are you? When my ob office realized I had loss(es) they got me in sooner. Maybe you could ask? It does help the stress some what. Of course I start getting nervous couple days before next appt. pgal brain sucks!

Mom2anAngel2 · July 2014

((HUGS)). 1st tri is so difficult when you have nothing to go on besides how you are feeling. Hang in there. You can always vent here!

[Deleted User] · July 2014

((Hugs)) to you. All the waiting (and just first tri in general) is so hard. I remember obsessing over my symptoms like you described. Hang in there! We're here if you need us for anything.

sugarpeas · July 2014

((Hugs)) to you. I agree, time seems to go so slowly the first few weeks, especially before the first ultrasound. I am in the same boat, pg after 3 losses. A friend of mind gave me this advice "just take really good care of yourself now. If you keep the pregnancy, then it will make you and the baby healthier. If you lose the little one, then at least you treated yourself really well for a while."

more ((hugs)) and good luck to you.

peggels24 · July 2014

((hugs)) to you

CaraH · July 2014

@samuleismomma - I'm still with the RE. Even though this baby was conceived on a natural cycle, he continues to see me until at least the first ultrasound due to our history. Our loss was also with him, and they are incredibly sympathetic. He is doing the ultrasound at 7 1/2 weeks, which is a week earlier than last time. I am jealous of those who get earlier ultrasounds, but he wants to wait until we have a good chance of seeing the heartbeat. (Though, I'd love an ultrasound to tell me things are developing!) I'm only 5w2d. This is the downside of an early BFP. I've already been holding my breath for over two weeks!

@sugarpeas - That's good advice. My husband is incredibly protective right now. I brushed him off the last two pregnancies, but now he says "look, it can't hurt to make sure your body can put all its energy in to growing the baby." And I'm with him this time, if only to make sure I don't have any what ifs in the event of another loss.

haleyusf · July 2014

((hugs))

chicagojackie · July 2014

Thinking of you! Hang in there.

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