when will the tears stop?

LondonsMummy314 · July 2014

I keep catching myself crying over everything. When i was still pregnant, cleaning my daughters sippy cups made me gag. The smell of the milk was terrible. But i just cleaned and nothing. Just another reminder that my little one is no longer growing inside of me. Im crying more often than not. I'm sorry for the constant posts but i have no one else to talk to and this forum makes me feel a little better.

angelsnight · July 2014

Ticker warning

Don't apologize for posting a lot, that's what we're here for. I cried everyday, maybe some days we'e just getting choked up, but still cried nonetheless for at least the first six months. I know it is hard to feel so much pain and sadness, but there is nothing wrong with still crying a lot. It doesn't mean you aren't moving forward, because in many ways we don't, we just eventually adapt to our new normal.

My daughter has been gone for over a year now and just the other day I got all choked up about it and went to the cemetery twice last weekend when I hadn't been at all in at least a month. Eventually the constant tears will stop, but we'll never get over it and we'll always have bad days. You love your angel and you always will, I'd be a little more concerned if you weren't upset and crying. In fact, MH was very stoic and poker faced through out our whole ordeal in the hospital. He put up a strong front for me, and my doctor even told my inlaws that she always worries about the ones that don't show much emotion because she knows their hurting inside and that can often do more damage down the road when they finally let themselves feel it.

Big ((hugs)) to you.

lexusolsen · July 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. It has been three months since we lost Ben. I don't cry every day but I think about him all the time. Things like you mentioned, reminders that he's gone and also what we would be doing if he were here.

LondonsMummy314 · July 2014

I'm sorry for your losses. I'm trying to suck it up because no one around me understands. They keep saying everything happens for a reason, i can always have more and everything will be ok. Although that may be true, i want to mourn the loss of my baby. I had so many plans for him/her

BoraBoraBaby · July 2014

Talk to us all the time. It's going to get better, and the more you can talk about it, the more the pain will ease in time.

Crying is such a healthy release. Don't beat yourself up for crying, but instead recognize how deeply you are allowing yourself to mourn. It's honestly the healthiest thing you can do.

Can you tell the people who are giving you this advice that you really need to hear something different? What do you need to hear? Everyone around you loves you and wants to see you happy. It's impossible to know what to say really unless you've been there. I know those comments can feel so harsh. But their intentions are nothing but to help because they love you.

Big hugs. You will get through this. Your baby will never be forgotten. But you will love life again.

kflynn81 · July 2014

Crying soothes the soul I think, so let it out when you feel the need. Even over six months out from our loss I still get teary eyed pretty much every night driving home from work. Sometimes its just so overwhelming you have to get it out somehow.

mmsweeney1 · July 2014

** ticker **

At the beginning, I cried just about every day too. I just couldn't think about my poor little son without losing it. After a while, I could go a few days without crying. Now I find myself getting teary more often as I approach his 1st birthday. I think these feelings of sadness will always be there for us, but sometimes we will handle them better than others.

I'm sorry people are saying "you can have more" and "everything happens for a reason." Those things can be so hurtful, but I truly don't think anyone knows what to say.

Hugs to you!

msunshine123 · July 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. Mine is still recent almost 4 weeks since we said goodbye to our little boy. You lost your baby and it's ok to be sad and to cry. ((hugs))

AshersMom11 · July 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. We are about 2 months out and it has probably been only in the last week or so that I haven't cried every single day. I am starting to have days here and there when I don't cry but I still think about it all the time.

It's hard at first when it seems like everything is a trigger, but I have started to notice some little things (like certain commercials) don't set me off like they used to. Don't be hard on yourself and it you need to cry that's OK.

"Everything happens for a reason" or "God has a plan" really bother me too. I usually just tell them, "That doesn't help" and they usually stop.

hsabyan · July 2014

You're in good company here, even if others in real life don't understand.

Don't ever be sorry for crying or mourning the loss of your baby. I'm not. I am a week short of two months from when we said goodbye to Georgia and although I don't cry nearly as much as I did those first few weeks, I still breakdown. I need those moments and tears... because in those moments that I find the most sadness, I am also completely wrapped up in my memories of her- which I love. I've found myself almost living as two people. One half of me puts her out of my mind so I can function, go to work, go grocery shopping, carry on relationships with friends. The other half is a complete mourning mess of tears and sadness. For now, that's what works for me.

However you grieve is completely acceptable. There is no wrong way. ((hugs))

Xath · July 2014

**ticker**

I don't think it ever stops. I'm 18 months out, and I still have my moments. The grief ebbs and flows; sometimes I'll go weeks without crying, sometimes I'll cry multiple times per day. The grief doesn't go away, but it gets easier to control. But there will always be triggers; things that catch you unawares. It's part of our new life now, and there's nothing wrong with it.

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when will the tears stop?

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