Rant & Question

agogo1 · June 2014

Hi ladies...hoping some of you can offer some insight. Apologies in advance for the rant.

On Monday, I had some reasonably heavy bright red bleeding. I freaked out and I was leaving for a work trip that evening, but thankfully my OB's office was able to squeeze me in to make sure that everything was okay. The ultrasound showed everything looking normal, though I was tracking a few days behind where I thought I should be. No heartbeat yet. Makes me a little nervous based on when I got a positive HPT, but generally not a big deal just yet. The US tech was fantastic and made me feel so much better. She assured me that this kind of thing happens all the time and that I should always call if I have reason to be concerned. My usual doctor was not available, though, and the OB I spoke with made me feel like I was being a little ridiculous, but overall was comforting. He did tell me to call back if the bleeding continued, came back, etc.

Last night, the red blood did come back. It was lighter than Monday, but definitely there. It seemed to have cleared up this morning, but I saw a bit more about an hour ago and decided to call my OB's office again. My next appointment isn't until July 10th, and I wanted to see if it was possible to go in some time next week instead. On Monday, the doctor did not do any kind of pelvic exam. Obviously I am incapable of viewing my own cervix to see if the bleeding may be caused by some sort of scrape, or possible infection. It would be nice to have that checked. The nurse I spoke with treated me like a complete idiot and said that the doctor wouldn't see me until July 10th because the baby is too small to see and they wouldn't be able to give me any info. I asked if she got calls like this a lot (in an attempt to comfort myself and see if she was just irritated by pregnant ladies with issues that she deemed unreasonable). Her response was "sometimes." Not helpful on either score.

I'm not trying to be unreasonable or get in early for funsies. While another ultrasound would be nice to demonstrate that things are progressing appropriately, I would wait twice as long if it meant that I could trade in the bleeding/being nervous about it.

I already have an appointment scheduled with a certified nurse midwife (associated with a hospital system/works within a team of OB/GYNs) at a different office in a couple of weeks. My question for those of you who have worked with midwives before--do you find that they are generally more compassionate/comforting/sympathetic when working with FTMs/ladies with concerns? I'm not asking to be treated like a super special princess, but this is my first time in this rodeo and it would be nice to feel a bit more supported by my care providers. Would a CNM be able to do/be likely to do an ultrasound, etc. in this situation to help determine if there is cause for concern?

Thanks...

MaddScientist · June 2014

My CNM practice was a little 'nicer' than the OB practice I was considering during my miscarriage. However, mine does not have the ability to do u/s (we are referred to another building/company in the medical center to the perineonatologist associated with the practice who actually does u/s.) and I don't think this is too uncommon with CNM. So, if your goal is to get another early ultrasound, the CNM might not be able to help you easily.

selly08 · June 2014

Many a times these care providers are so used to stuff like this that they think it's normal. They fail to understand that it's not normal for the person who is experiencing it for the first time. It's quite frustrating. I have been through a similar drama. I know how you feel. Don't stress out. It won't help. Try to kick off your work and relax. That might help. Feel better

Jay_Cee · June 2014

I'm sorry you're going through all that. My OB office is very caring, so I don't necessarily think it's an OB vs CNM thing. I think the nurse you spoke to on the phone was rude.

alicb · June 2014

I don't know about the CNM/OB question. I do know that I had an OB my first time around he was just my gyno for 5 years so I kept him as my OB once I got pregnant. I really regret not shopping around. He and his nurse were not very friendly and when I was having issues later in pregnancy were not very responsive. I am going to a different OB this time around and if I get the slightest whiff of her or her nurse being rude/unresponsive to my concerns I will switch. You have to remember you will be seeing these people for the next 9 months and ALL sorts of things are going to happen. Some you will Dr. Google your way out of other things you will need to call and talk to them. Listen to your gut!

::crawls off soapbox::

agogo1 · June 2014

Thanks so much, ladies! Your feedback has been really helpful. @alicb I will definitely keep your experience in mind. I can't think of many good reasons to tolerate a nurse/office that treats me like I have the brain of a potato. I'm smart! I'm just also bleeding and a somewhat paranoid/high strung person to begin with.

blt12 · June 2014

I started having some spotting this morning. I called my midwife's office and they returned my call right away. My office does have the capability to do ultrasounds early, I already had one at 6 weeks 3 days. I'm just waiting out my spotting to see if it lets up or gets worse - if it's worse my midwife wants me to call back. She was really supportive and but my mind at ease that spotting is a common thing during the first trimester.

expectingtofly · July 2014

when i began spotting with my last miscarriage my dr sent me in right away for a series of blood tests to determine my hcg level pattern and rule out infections etc, it seems to me that they should have at least done that for you to make sure everything was on track... i can understand maybe not giving an ultrasound but they should be following up more closely with other things. I would demand to be seen again or switch, why should you have to tolerate rude unhelpful/unsupportive staff while you're creating a life in your belly?

awitt1104 · July 2014

Why did the video for this week say don't tell anybody??? That really freaks me out..... Does that mean I could miscarry???? This is my first pregnancy!! So happy and so excited, but nervous. Going to the doctor for the first time next week. The doctors said I couldn't ever even have kids bc I had the Depo shot twice and it put me in medical menopause for four years. I will be 26 in a few months and have had my period back for a little over a year now. Jw if anyone could offer any advice.... I'd really appreciate it. Thanks so much, Ally.

wintersong139 · July 2014

@awitt1104 - What week is this for you?
From what I understand, the chance of miscarriage for a healthy woman in her twenties is about 15%. Each week, the chance decreases, but there is still a chance. After about 8 weeks, the chance for women in the twenties drops to about 4% (more or less, depending on different factors like smoking), especially if you have seen the heartbeat on an U/S. Many women wait until week 8 to tell family for this reason.

In spite of a chance of miscarriage, it is not worth living in fear and anxiety during this time. Don't worry about it unless you have a reason to worry about it--for example, if you start bleeding a lot or your cramps become severe enough to cause you to double over. If you ever feel like something is wrong, just call your OB or midwife to talk about it.

FWIW, I am telling my family at 6 weeks because I would tell them anyway if I miscarried, and I need someone to be excited with. :-)

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