Work and pregnancy

KateMulgrew · June 2014

My first trimester hasn't been very smooth. There was some heavy spotting for a number of weeks and the mood swings have been crazy. Last week my boss told me that due to these things they can't really be supportive of me with this pregnancy. Has anyone else had problems like this? How did you handle it?

robsbabygirl08 · June 2014

Seriously?!?! That's is ridiculous. Nobody at work knows I'm pregnant and for that reason above. I don't want people treating me differently because of it.

KateMulgrew · June 2014

I'm supposed to stand all day but with the spotting my OB said it's not smart to do so since it makes the spotting considerably worse. I don't think they will fire me out right but it does seem like they are trying to push me out other ways. I've only missed due to a terrible flu which anyone would have missed for since we see children all day and for an ER visit.

ShuShubee · June 2014

I am sorry your boss is being difficult. I would talk to your HR department, because him saying that to you is not okay.

The only instance where he may be justified is if when you say "mood swings," you mean you are going ape s***t on everyone in your office. That would not be okay either. Otherwise, he is just being an ass.

KateMulgrew · June 2014

No it's mostly that I'm not super positive all the time. When my hormones act up I smile a bit less and don't respond with a super happy "yes" and instead usually an "ok" when she snips at me.

luckylady18 · June 2014

What state do you live in? You need to research the pregnancy laws in your state - there are laws that protect pregnant women at work. Some cities even have their own laws. I'm in HR and I'm an attorney -your boss cannot say stuff like this to you and they cannot force you out.

Write down everything that is being said to you - with a date, time and who said it. Go to HR, do your research. Let me know if you have more questions.

ShuShubee · June 2014

Yea - that's not okay. I still say talk to HR, if you have an HR department. Make sure it is documented.

I guess I automatically assumed that boss being an ass = male. My bad. I guess I just think women tend to be more understanding about these types of things (which I fully realize is not how the world works).

KateMulgrew · June 2014

Her response was that it looks unprofessional and if I can't do my job then maybe I should start looking elsewhere. I'm thinking it might be a good idea....but who is going to hire a woman who plans on being a stay at home mom after giving birth.

wcmama1001 · June 2014

lauren.shap said:

What state do you live in? You need to research the pregnancy laws in your state - there are laws that protect pregnant women at work. Some cities even have their own laws. I'm in HR and I'm an attorney -your boss cannot say stuff like this to you and they cannot force you out.

Write down everything that is being said to you - with a date, time and who said it. Go to HR, do your research. Let me know if you have more questions.

Agreed. I'm also in HR and would give the same advice. This is totally unacceptable.

luckylady18 · June 2014

I really think you need to go to her armed with information about what protections you have. Pregnancy is a disability under the Americans with Disabilities Act. You are probably entitled to a reasonable accommodation, which can include them giving you a stool to sit on (if you have to stand for your job), or more frequent bathroom breaks, etc. She's breaking the law speaking to you like this.

I'm all worked up now...I'm so angry at this woman!

[Deleted User] · June 2014

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KateMulgrew · June 2014

She owns the business so there isn't an HR person. Maybe I should look into a different job.

musicgal05 · June 2014

No, don't look elsewhere yet. You'll be showing by the time you interview, and even though companies aren't supposed to, they judge anyway. It'll be ridiculously hard to get a new job at this point. Stick with your current employer for as long as possible, fight the boss with HR if things get out of control, and if you need to find a new job after LO is born, then so be it. I'd just hate for your financial situation to possibly suffer for a boss who doesn't understand basic human decency.

Bigboneded · June 2014

Ohhh, that makes me so mad. I have a horrible female boss. My experience has been that men (fathers) have been way moresupportive than this psycho I currently work under :-(. Definitely document. Do not quit. See if you can get a consult with an attorney. If you will stay at home anyway, then you shouldnt have to dfind a new job. You should be able to finish this one. That said, she can make your life miserable in the meantime. And you dont need that. The passive aggressive me would take notes in front of her when she speaks, and when she asks what I am doing ... "Just documenting for accuracy :-)"

This sucks that you have to deal with her and early comlication/scares. I am sorry you are dealing with this. (((Hugs))) and a kick in the shin for her unsupportive butt!

kmcorter · June 2014

Wow. Just wow. I am one of those people that would normally say, just roll with it. Try not to cause a fuss. But your boss is WRONG and this doesn't seem like one of those situations that should just be shrugged off. I would absolutely contact a lawyer, especially if she is trying to make you miserable and push you out. I am sorry you're going through this and have all the extra unnecessary added stress. Hang in there.

dragontears507 · June 2014

That's ridiculous! My job is very physically demanding, but my work has been more than accomodating, as they should be! Unfortunately, my restrictions mean that I can't take on as much of the load there, but not one person has made me feel guilty about it, and no one should do that to you! I feel guilty because I'm not doing exactly the job that I was originally hired to do now, but it doesn't matter. I'm protecting my babies. They can't expect you to put yourself or your baby at risk because of their business.

I would research, as PPs said, your local laws and make sure you address the situation with her directly and let her know what your rights are and that you will not tolerate mistreatment. Looking for a new job at this point seems like it would be ineffective.

WillCMyInk · June 2014

One question to ask, how big is your company? If it is a really small company they may not have to follow ADA, that's one thing people don't always think about when giving advice. If your company is big enough then I agree with a lot of the advice already provided.

To add to what the other HR ladies have said, I would sit down and talk to her and ask her what she thinks needs to be improved or changed. Like they said, write down everything she says (take notes in front of her or ask her if you can record the conversation). Take some information about the laws to her and DO NOT let her get away with this.

longcat07 · June 2014

if she won't let you record conversations, follow up with email. basically, just send her an email saying that you were following up that these items were discussed and what was decided, so there's an undisputed written record.

M3L333 · June 2014

I would stick it out. She cannot do that (and she knows that). There are laws against this. If you are not planning to return after I wouldn't worry too much about what thy think. Stick it out and get your may leave pay! If she fires you....then sue her!

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