M/C after IVF ETC.

2Ferbz · June 2014

I am new to this site, I told myself that once my hubby and I got the BFP I would join one of these sites to track the babies development and other things of the journey. Well we have been married for 11 years this September and TTC for 6 years. We had one M/C in Feb/2005, and then we tried IUI's 2 failed. I had a stillborn way back when from a previous relationship at 32 weeks, which was overly devestating, and recently, first IVF cycle April 2014 and M/C at 8w4d. I am numb, angry, sad and lonely. I have two sister in laws that are about to deliver, and some others who recently got the BFP. I am so out of sorts about this loss, not to mention we had to pay out of pocket so if the FET doesnt work we are out of luck, cant afford to pay for that again! My hubby has been down about this too, and because my feelings of disappointment and numbness I have been able to be strong for him. It sucks overall, and I don't care to deal with any other women who are pregnant, I feel like no one understands the feeling of being incapbale of carrying a baby to term. People have been making the ignortant commnents like it wasnt GOD's time and you have plenty of time, maybe it was not ment to be. Most of them are honestly coming from a good place, but I want them to just shut up. So sorry for unloading but even my closest friends are not reaching out like I want them too, so I need to release this energy. Because of the disappointments I have experienced the next go round, I dont think will be an enjoyable one. Anyone else feel like this or been through any of this?

shandorfml2 · June 2014

I am so sorry for your losses. We understand your feelings. All of us on this board have had a late term loss, still birth or lost an infant. Some have also had miscarriages. Some also have infertility issues and have done IVF or IUI. Have you had testing done? Have they been able to find any reason for your losses? ((hugs)) the TTCAL board is full of really smart ladies that might have some more insight and advice in regards to trying to conceive. Feel free to lean on us here whenever you need to.

Maybe Joleisa · June 2014

I'm sorry for your losses. Be gentle on yourself; it's okay to put your needs first as you grieve.

BoraBoraBaby · June 2014

Ticker warning

My heart aches for you. I know all too well that feeling of desperation, wanting a baby to hold in your arms and protect, to raise as your own. All the hope once you have that BFP, and then the horrible realization that it's over. I know.

And I am all too familiar with well-intentioned friends saying it just wasn't meant to be, God will bless you with a baby when it's the right time. Those words cut like a knife. And I believe you are more ready to have a baby than most, you have a heart full of love and you're absolutely ready.

I am so sorry that you have to be here but just know that we are here for you on the hard days and on the days you have hope. Just be kind to yourself and feel what you feel. Hugs!!!

shandorfml2 · June 2014

@BoraBoraBaby not sure if you are aware you still have a pregnancy ticker in your sig. If you go to the top left corner, the little person icon "preferences" you can go to your siggy and delete it. That should work

kz's_girlygirl · June 2014

Sig warning****

I am so sorry for your losses and the struggles you have faced/ are facing. I can relate to them all.

We struggled to get pregnant since 2009 and finally had success with IVF after numerous failed iui's- but then we lost our son. It was like a cruel joke and everyone thought they had great advice to give- many along the same lines as you have heard. Some even said it was never meant to be since we were playing God by using IVF.

Please know that your feelings are totally valid and perfectly ok! If space from currently pregnant friends/family is what you need, that is OK. You are allowed to take care of yourself first and I hope you are able to.

Try not to put pressure on yourself to be the strong one for your husband (or anyone) - sometimes just sharing your grief can help. We all grieve and process things so differently and just letting him know you support him and want to share with him might be good for both of you as your journey goes on.

I hope you are able to get some answers if you pursue further testing- and most of all, I hope you are able to find some comfort amidst the heartache

2Ferbz · June 2014

Thanks so much, sorry for responding so late! We decided to have the products from surgery sent for testing to find out if there is something going on we have missed. Overall I have had a good deal of testing on myself, my tubes are blocked, and abnormal cycles. With IVF they were monitored to the minute which helped, but still the development just stopped. Hopeful about finding out some results if any from the testing. Thanks for the encouragement!

2Ferbz · June 2014

I am very ready, but I just feel like its such a disappointment. Almost like I should have known better, and I hate feeling like that. I have been trying to be nice to myself and take it one day at the time. Sorry for the late response but the past week, some of the unpleseant side effects have hit me, I guess its medications and my body getting back to its normal state. Thanks again!

2Ferbz · June 2014

Thanks

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