We have 3 friends in the same city who have offered to host a shower, and they don't all get along. — The Bump
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We have 3 friends in the same city who have offered to host a shower, and they don't all get along.

Hello! We have 3 friends where we live who have separately offered to host the shower for our first child. We thought of asking one (the one with the biggest house) to host a Sip and See after the baby is born instead, but that still leaves the other two, who share many mutual friends but don't really get along with each other. We've been putting off making any plans with either of them, but we are going to have to deal with the issue soon since both of them seem really excited about the prospect. We are so grateful to everyone but can't have two showers with this much overlap. Any advice?? Thanks!

Re: We have 3 friends in the same city who have offered to host a shower, and they don't all get along.

  • Accept one & decline the others. If they ask why (and they shouldn't) then say that the person who is hosting offered first. Doesn't have to be a big deal.

    Also, just to say, just because the person has a large house does not mean that there has to be a large guest list (read: more gifts?).

    I've been up since 4am, but house/venue size isn't really a deal breaker for me on making the decision. May I ask why it is for you? Why not how close you feel to whichever host you choose?


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  • The guest list would be the same wherever the shower is, and the house size is not a consideration. The one with the largest house would not be hurt if we ask her to host a sip-and-see (no presents) after the baby is born, but the other two might be hurt if we accept one offer and not the other. This is not something that can be decided by which one we are closer to, since the relationships are pretty much equal in terms of closeness, so I'm trying to figure out if there is some compromise we're not thinking of.
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  • VORVOR member

    One of two things:

    1- go with whoever offered first.

    2- tell each of them the situation and tell them "it would mean a lot to me if you all could cohost" then if they agree, back out and let them plan it.  

    Aargemoxymoose[Deleted User]
  • As some pp's have mentioned, I would see if they would be willing to co-host the shower. If they really want to do one for you and are as excited as you say, they should be able to put aside their differences to make this wonderful for you!!

    My baby shower is being co-hosted by my Mom, Dads Fiance and SO's mom. I was very concerned at first because none of them actually talk to each other and I know my Dad is weird about my Mom and his Fiance talking. But it is working out great because everyone wants the event to be great for Baby Colton and I(: 

    I would give it a shot!!
  • I went to a shower where the MTB had 4 of her friends host the shower and they didn't get along.  I got to hear all about the drama from the co-host I was closest with and it made the whole event fairly awkward.  I would go ahead and accept the offer from whoever offered first and tell her that the other two also expressed interest, then leave it up to them to figure out if they want to co host or not.  
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  • VOR said:

    One of two things:

    1- go with whoever offered first.

    2- tell each of them the situation and tell them "it would mean a lot to me if you all could cohost" then if they agree, back out and let them plan it.  

    I like these suggestions.  They'll either suck it up and work together because they all love you (and maybe they'll become friends in the process) or they'll each try to outdo the others with gifts for you.

    FTR, I was the MOH for my best friend last year and had to plan the b-party with another close friend of hers who I really, really disliked and she disliked me.  We actually became friends and we took a day trip to New York together last month.  Strange things can happen.

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