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I THOUGHT I was one and done...
So this has been on my mind so much lately, I'd like to hear if you have any wisdom/advice/thoughts to share.
After a difficult delivery and some mental issues I dealt with after having my daughter 19 months ago, for which I am still on meds for, combined with DH's and my ages (40; 35), cost of daycare, two teachers' salaries, and living in a two bedroom apt, I had decided I was one and done. I'm happy with my little girl, so why mess with it? But lately I've been wondering if it's a mistake I will regret later on. I'm starting to envision myself a mother of two. DH is NOT on board, but is willing to "think about it'. He doesn't want to have to work til he's 105 and thinks he won't be able to handle the stress of two kids. Due to daycare costs, I wouldn't be able to start TTC until I'm 36 1/2..."Advanced maternal age". I wouldn't want to do it unless H was wanting it 100%, but I'm not even sure. I guess I just needed to vent and hear if you have had similar experiences.
After a difficult delivery and some mental issues I dealt with after having my daughter 19 months ago, for which I am still on meds for, combined with DH's and my ages (40; 35), cost of daycare, two teachers' salaries, and living in a two bedroom apt, I had decided I was one and done. I'm happy with my little girl, so why mess with it? But lately I've been wondering if it's a mistake I will regret later on. I'm starting to envision myself a mother of two. DH is NOT on board, but is willing to "think about it'. He doesn't want to have to work til he's 105 and thinks he won't be able to handle the stress of two kids. Due to daycare costs, I wouldn't be able to start TTC until I'm 36 1/2..."Advanced maternal age". I wouldn't want to do it unless H was wanting it 100%, but I'm not even sure. I guess I just needed to vent and hear if you have had similar experiences.
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Re: I THOUGHT I was one and done...
<---- Advanced maternal age, ha!
I am 40 and my LO is 7 months old. We started trying when I was 36 but experienced loss and infertility issues. Anyway, we always envisioned at least two so we're going to start trying again soon. Age, schmage. I say go for it. Yes there are risks, but many 35+ or 40+ women have uneventful pregnancies and healthy babies. And being young is not a guarantee that everything will go smoothly anyway.
More kids is always a strain on your time and money, it is for everyone but you find a way if it's important to you to have more.
Do what's in your heart.
BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
January PAL Siggy Challenge: Good Advice
That said, except for the difficult delivery part we're pretty similar. I had PPD/PPA after my son was born. While we can afford two in daycare we'd prefer not to and we don't want to be "old" parents. AMA isn't really a big deal to me, but we have just decided that our personalities, lifestyle, and goals are not compatible with more than one child. My husband is getting a consult for a vasectomy in August. It doesn't mean I don't still have "What ifs" but I know this is what's best for our family.