Is daddy on board for TTGP??

minniemee · June 2014

Hi. My BF and I are actively TTGP and he was on board for about the first 2 months or so and then he kinda backed off a little. He has 2 kids from a previous relationship but we don't have any together and I don't have any at all. I would really love a baby of my own to complete our little family. But I'm not sure if he's scared or if there's something else going on! Are any of your hubby's or BF's hesitant abt wanting to conceive?

chaysefaith · June 2014

No. It was a decision we made a year ago. Together.

KatzKiss · June 2014

He'll no. My mom did that and as a result I never had a good relationship with my father.

niki1209 · June 2014

Agreed with PP, decision made together.

mommy2C · June 2014

It took 6 years of marriage for H to be comfortable starting a family and us having our daughter. I was ready after 2 (although in hindsight he was right and we were definitely in a better place financially, career-wise, house-wise by following his time line). It is a recipe for disaster to have a child with someone who isn't fully on board for whatever reason and, honestly, it isn't fair to the potential child either. You really need to have an honest conversation with him and really assess if you're truly in the position to have a baby at this time. No one here can tell you if he is ready.

FitMom3510 · June 2014

We both wanted to wait thankfully then we decided last year we would wait until September of this year to start TTC. I started tracking my BBT and and got PNV and then when I hit my fertile window we thought "what's 3 months." We decided together, if your other half isn't into it I wouldn't force it. You want to bring a child into a welcoming family not one where a parent felt rush to have it.

myatala · June 2014

I was the one who encouraged us to think about having another baby and to work out a timeline when we felt ready to plan. We worked together to figure out a timeline that felt right to us. If either of us wants to take a break for one or more cycles, we'll take that break, because both of us need to be fully committed to TTC to keep going.

wolowizard · June 2014

My husband is on board and wants to start trying, but I want to wait two more months for financial reasons (I can have his car paid off by the time the baby is here but only if I get pregnant after August). We're waiting. Just like if I were the one on board, and he wanted to wait two months for any reason, we would wait.

icaughtfire · June 2014

My husband was the one to convince me we should TTC#2. He's been ready since DD was 18 months or so, he was just waiting for me to come around. If the tables were turned, I'm sure the waiting would suck but I would never push him in to something he wasn't ready for, especially a decision as big as having a child. Sounds like a recipe for relationship disaster.

getnauti · June 2014

H is 100% on board with trying for #2. We are waiting until August to start because that's what he wants to do. Being pregnant is hard enough without a partner who resents you for forcing a baby on him. I would talk to him.

Trampslikeus · June 2014

110% on board. This is a discussion we started having when we were dating, years ago. It should never be a unilateral decision. Everything about becoming parents that can actually be planned and thought out has been. Now we're in the unpredictable part.

Bee1112 · June 2014

This is a decision you both need to be 100% on.

Our original plan was to start TFAS when DS was 18 months. I was ready when he was 10 months. I waited. No way would I have been ok with it if he wasn't 100% on board with it.

I think you need to sit him down and talk to him. Good luck!

jt305 · June 2014

DH was ready before I was. We had talked about kids and when we would start TTC before we were married. If you do this now and your SO isn't ready, he could end up resenting you. Sit down and have an honest conversation about this.

Jags8 · June 2014

DH was ready before I was. With the excitment of DH getting back from deployment last summer, we had agreed on starting TTC last October. But then when he got home, I changed my mind because I wanted "us" time.

Take it from the partner who wanted to wait- do NOT pressure him. It will do nothing to change his mind, and it will only annoy him. All you can do is talk to him and see how he feels, and leave it at that until he is ready.

sandj918 · June 2014

I was ready 2 years before H was. We didn't move forward with TTC until we were both completely ready. It was really hard to wait but it would have been a disaster to push the issue.

Cythe · June 2014

We were both ready when DH deployed for 9 months but I told him there was NO way he was getting me pregnant and then leaving for the whole thing, so we waited.

Strawberry9 · June 2014

Yes he's on board. I wouldn't consider it if he wasn't.

Trampslikeus · June 2014

Bleh. I should have added... this isn't an easy decision, ever, especially from his point of view, having 2 other kids and (hopefully!!!) contributing time and finances to their upbringing, the idea of a 3rd may be overwhelming. He has the right to change his mind. And you have the right to be disappointed, but not to make him feel guilty or pressure him. You don't need a baby to "complete" a family, but to add to your family.

We are doing this a year after we initially agreed we would, because I was doing some work in the Congo, which is not a good place to be if you're pregnant if you have a choice in the matter. Husband was not thrilled when I told him I was going back and that we'd have to wait, but he knew how important it was to me, and we discussed it at length and came to an agreement.

The movies make it look like you decide to have a baby, jump in to each others' arms 9 seconds later, all full of sexy and glee and giggle, and wake up pregnant and swoony and thrilled. Im sure it happens that way with some couples, but thats certainly not the reality for many of us.

jacqueleen1 · June 2014

H is completely on board. I was ready before him but now that he is ready we are TTC. If he wasn't ready I would not be doing it .

GiveMeWine · June 2014

We would not be trying if he wasn't on board. I would definitely hold off until you guys talk about what is going on with him. Good luck!

hollyk224 · June 2014

My H is completely on board now. We wouldn't be TTC if he wasn't. I've been ready for a while now, but it took him much longer to be okay with it. I told him from the beginning that I didn't want to start trying until he was on board and felt comfortable with it. We are in the middle of our third cycle of trying now and he's just as ready as I am

catwine · June 2014

My husband actually brought it up before I did. I'm also in the camp with those people saying you should just ask you BF why he is hesitant now.

jlo629 · June 2014

We have both wanted it for years but we waited until we had the wedding, got the house, and have good-ish jobs (H is just finishing grad school and should get a better promotion after) and then we knew we were both ready. He was ready before I was. Having a child will change everything for both of us so we both need to be 100% on the same page for this.

jlo629 · June 2014

DarcyHermione said:

Yep, he's definitely on board. Otherwise getting him to do his thing in a cup would be really hard to do.

HA I love this!

nikiz628 · June 2014

Somedays I think H is more on board than I am, but we are both completely on board together.

Wine&Cupcakes · June 2014

DH was on board before I was. Together we created a timeline of this summer for beginning to TTC.

He supports my temping & charting, condones by OPK use, we spent thousands getting necessary DNA testing, and he helps me take my weekly blood tests to send into my metabolic clinic and makes my metabolic formula. If we weren't 100% committed we'd be in a pretty shitty place right now. You are either all in, or all out.

Want a personalized experience?

Is daddy on board for TTGP??

Re: Is daddy on board for TTGP??

DX (me): Inborn error of metabolism - protein restriction, metabolic formula & weekly blood tests

DNA Results (7/1): DH is NOT a carrier for my genetic disorder!

7/3: Metabolic clinic gave the green light to TTC - holy crap!

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