Funny kid lines

fancynewbeesly · June 2014

I love hearing everyone's funny kid stories---they crack me up!

What is your child saying/doing lately that is hysterical?

Reese apparently (she just turned 3 for those on mobile) told my MIL this week when they were together: "I have a theory!" We never found out what was her theory, but she HAS a theory.

She told DH this evening: "this is how I operate"

Weirdo.

martha919 · June 2014

My daughter says "lime ball" when she sees a lime. She also said "nigh-nigh kitty" to the tiger at the zoo today because he laid down.

NeneCakies · June 2014

DH taught our almost 2 yo to say a sarcastic-complete-with-extended-arms, "COME ON!" It's Olsen twin catch phrase cute.

wesleycrusher · June 2014

Posted on my BMB, but will share here. At 21 months DD has 15 words, she still doesn't say mama. But today she said a new word: "really?!?!?"

no idea where she picked that up from....MOTY right here.

Whenigrowup · June 2014

DD thinks "booty" (as in Pirate Booty) is funny. She adds booty to random words, and sometimes they're funny. DH didn't appreciate her yelling, "Bye, Daddy Booty!" at school a few weeks ago. She also has found a new interest in her piggy bank, and calls it her "Money Pig".

fintin · June 2014

Haha my nephew is 4 and a total hoot! He told my sister "I command you!" The other day and when asked how long he was going to hold his sisters hand he got dead serious and said "for-e-ver!!!" Haha he watches alot of sandlot haha.

NotSharknado · June 2014

My daughter demanded she have a penis instead of a vagina. I WANT A PENIS!!!!!!!

TheRunningGinger · June 2014

While potty training we would always tell my daughter 'mommy and daddy are so proud of you!' anytime she would use the potty. One day she was in the bathroom with me while I went, and she said 'mommy! Memaw and papaw are gonna be so proud of you!'

Soxgirl07 · June 2014

DS1 tries to tell me my options frequently. I feel like I had a bunch of these the other day and now I'm blanking. Maybe I'll be back later!

littlestjerry · June 2014

My FIL really enjoys drinking. He's also retired and has been coming over on Tuesdays (the one day of the week DS doesn't go to school and DH keeps him) to help DH with some stuff in our backyard. This obviously involves FIL drinking beer because every event/visit/hour of the day involves him drinking beer.

Anyway, the other day DS and I had this exchange:

DS: "I want my water!"

Me: "Your water is right here."

DS: "No, I want Papaw's water."

Me: "Papaw's water??"

DS: "Yes, Papaw's water is beer!"

I realize this is both hilarious and slightly concerning. But mostly hilarious. And a very astute observation for a 2.5 year old.

bumpuser260585 · June 2014

When I picked DS up from school the other day was "reading" a book. I asked if he was ready to go home and he asked if i was sorry for interrupting him.

bcbuzzafsu · June 2014

I dropped my keys this morning and blurted out a "dammit". DS, who is barely verbal, SHOUTED "dammit" over and over even with me trying to distract him. MOTY

JGY · June 2014

Kid has limited words (like maybe 10 total), but has somehow mastered "Bubble."

Also, he has 2 Moms, but regularly refers to both of us as Dada. Awesome.

studyinpink · June 2014

E just started saying that k is her baby.

MyMorningCoffee · June 2014

My girls are obsessed with super heroes right now, and they especially love Batman. My husband taught them the "na na na na na na batman" song, and now they always say it, as in "Mom, I want to wear my na na na na na batman shirt."

bumpuser1691848 · June 2014

A few months ago DD asked me the prince's name in Cinderella. Of course I drew a blank, so she said "I'll just ask him when I grow up and become Cinderella and dance with him at the ball."

jellybean529 · June 2014

I put the Culture Club video Do You Really Want To Hurt Me on Youtube the other day. About ten seconds in, DD claps her hands over her ears and screams "OH GOD, NO. NOOOOOOOOO. NOOOOOOOOOO." and starts crying hysterically.

lildevil968 · June 2014

DS yelled "i'm really mad at you mommy" at me yesterday. He was upset about something, I still don't know what though.

kmm2150 · June 2014

Ok I have a few. DD has picked up this gesture of leaning in, holding up her finger and saying I'll be right back, ok?

We have a little sidewalk in our backyard and it gets flooded if we get a big rain, she has dubbed this effect 'muddle puddles.'

jellybean529 · June 2014

DD just waggled her finger at my boob and said "I'm just telling your boobs to be quiet."

It's the six year old's version of "Calm your tits."

RingOfFire11 · June 2014

When asking DD if she wants pepperoni pizza..

DD: "No pepper, just roni"

studyinpink · June 2014

E started saying k is her baby. When I attempted to correct her, she got really ticked off and said no, my baby-squinty eyes and all.

She also runs around saying super power!!

Also, ooh shiny! When anything is pretty.

katlizabeth · June 2014

Dd moved from a toddler bed to a tall double bed a few weeks ago. She was up late one night, so I went in her room to see what she was up to. She was standing on her bed, looking out the window, behind the blinds. Before I could ask anything, she turned around and said (in a guilty tone), "I just waving to cars mama." I told her it was bedtime and she asked, tearing up, if she could just wave at one more car.

flyingsaucer · June 2014

This week DS (6) said to me "Do you know what TMI means? It means too much information." I can thank the quality education from his kindergarten for that

When something is "uncool" (like going to bed early, etc", DD (3) declares it 'Lame' but can't say the 'L' sound yet so with plenty of attitude yells "WAME".

flyingsaucer · June 2014

Another one: DD (3) saw me getting dressed..l I was wearing thong underwear... And said (all concerned) "Mommy, the butt on your underwear is broken!!"

Wulfgar · June 2014

Today at the pool while carrying DS:

DS: Take me over there
Me: what is the magic word?
DS: Abracadabra
Me: what is the other magic word?
DS: Abracadabra
Me: how about please?
DS: please

Disneygeek77 · June 2014

DS is obsessed with tunnels. Everything is a tunnel. Drains, paper towel rolls, toilet paper rolls, straws, tubes. everything.

Well we are also trying to potty train him and one day he told me that pee comes out of his penis tunnel and poop comes out of his bottom tunnel.

Oh and yesterday we were out McD's when DS loudly announced that he has a penis, DD has a vagina, I have a vagina and Daddy has a big penis.

MrsNash37212 · June 2014

I have two from today and they are both at DH's expense.

DH went out probably harder than he has in our entire marriage for his good friend's 40th birthday party last night. He thinks he got home around 4:30. Needless to say, he was in rough shape this morning when DS got up at 7am. This prompted DS to ask me, "Mama, is Dada a squeaky toy? He sounds like Sophie."

And my personal favorite:

DS loves looking at my belly and asking about the little baby inside. Tonight, we were doing family cuddle time on the floor before bed. He lifted up my shirt and said "Baby's growing? Your belly's getting bigger." I agreed and then he turned and lifted up DH's shirt and said "Dada's belly is the biggest!" I was howling I laughed so hard. It was fantastic.

Unknown · June 2014

This content has been removed.

Soxgirl07 · June 2014

I was explaining how babies grow in their mommy's bellies (bff is pregnant). He takes 1 look at her big 8 month pregnant belly, giggles, and says oh that cannot work!

Then we talked about how he and his younger brother were both in my belly at different times. He started talking about how they were crawling and playing in there together. Not exactly kid.

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