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May 2014 Moms
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Coming to terms with a Tubal

dragossoul84dragossoul84 member
in May 2014 Moms
So I wasnt supposed to be able to have children and I suffered many miscarriages I was blessed with my first son in 12 and most recently we had our second son. Both pregnancies were very hard on my body and at some points dangerous for me. My inlaws and Dr really pushed for a tubal and it made sense at the time it still does on paper but, now that all the panic from my son being a preemie and seeing specialist has gone I'm starting to regret it. I hate the newborn stage and I dont think I can physically manage another healthy pregnancy but it feels like such a loss to me. I keep thinking I'm only 30 and why did people let me make this decision when I was so afraid. It makes so much sense to have had it done, I dont know why I'm second guessing myself but I am and its really making my depression on the border of being manageable. My Dr has over the last four weeks quadrupled my dose and I'm still not 100% Did anyone else get a tubal this time around? Are you struggling with it?   
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Re: Coming to terms with a Tubal

  • usernewnameusernewname member
    I haven't but I can only imagine the sense of finality that comes with it and how that can be sad and full of what ifs. I send you hugs.
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  • krlovellkrlovell member
    Bless your heart!!! I can only imagine how you feel. My mother thought I was insane for not getting a tubal but like you said I wasn't ready for the finality of it as I'm 27. And even as I cuddle my LO knowing almost 100% sure she's our last, it breaks my heart at how fast she's growing and she's already 8 weeks. So take one day at a time enjoy each baby moment or see it as a blessing that you'll never have to do _____ again! Hugs to you as your feelings and emotions are valid. And all things with parenting is hard. You're doing a great job with your LO's and know that you have a whole group of women that support you and are here if you need to talk.
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  • dragossoul84dragossoul84 member
    I don't know what is making me so anxious we paid for an adoption in NY we were removed from the wait list and just haven't gone back on yet. We are totally open to that idea. Like I said i dont know why i am so emotional about this

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  • dogsombrerodogsombrero member
    It's totally normal to have feelings of loss over any major life event even if you know it's the best decision. You acknowledge that you have been blessed and that the pregnancies and m/cs have been very hard in your body. You made a good decision for your two boys who need a healthy mom.

    As PPs have since you are open to adoption your family doesn't have to be capped at its current size. I don't think it matters how you become a mom just that you have lots if love to give, which it sounds like you have plenty :) The door to being a mom again isn't closed to you and if it feels that way remember there is always a window open.
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  • QOTRQOTR member
    I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I think those are valid emotions you're working through. I hope it gets easier with time.
    Me-41, Hubby-40.
    1st BFP-8/17/12!  Missed Miscarriage discovered @ 8 week US.  D&C.
    2nd BFP-2/13/13!  Blighted Ovum discovered @ 8 week US. Natural miscarriage.
    3rd BFP-5/22/13!  By early June, progesterone plummeting.  Another loss.
    August 2013 - started Donor Egg process, but surprise BFP with my own eggs.
    Dear Son born 5/28/14
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  • KBowen715KBowen715 member
    dragossoul84 said:

    I don't know what is making me so anxious we paid for an adoption in NY we were removed from the wait list and just haven't gone back on yet. We are totally open to that idea. Like I said i dont know why i am so emotional about this

    I think it is COMPLETELY justifiable.
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  • pistolpackinmommapistolpackinmomma member
    The finality is why I refused the tubal. DH us wanted a vasectomy but I'm just not ready for it yet. If we have another it will mean a third c/s and I don't have any desire to have yet another c/s but I had always wanted a larger family. I think had DS2 been a girl that it might have been easier to accept but I doubt it. DH isn't open to adoption so I know we are done. I just don't want to admit it yet.

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  • dragossoul84dragossoul84 member
    Thanks guys it helps to know I am not crazy for how I feel DH tries to help I just don't think he fully understands what I am feeling.
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