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I'm Back...:-( (living child mentioned)

cmhawkins1709cmhawkins1709 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
It's not that I don't love you ladies, but oh how I hate to be back here. I had a loss back in February that was a chemical pregnancy. We found out we were expecting again June sixth. Betas rose appropriately, I was on Progesterone for support, we saw the heartbeat Monday...I felt so different about this time. Unfortunately, right after the ultrasound Monday I began bleeding. After another ultrasound Tuesday that still showed a heartbeat (but slower) and irregularities of the gestational sac, I resigned myself to accept the worst. Sure enough, an exam Thursday concluded my cervix was open, and an ultrasound Friday confirmed the miscarriage was complete. I am devastated. I feel defeated, worthless and hopeless. I know all these feelings are normal, but it's just so much harder this time, especially after seeing that encouraging little thump thump on the screen. I just want to scream. Cry. Pull my hair out. Right now I'm laying in bed, physically and emotionally exhausted. I feel guilty because I can't even bear to look at DD without sobbing, and her big sister shirt is now in a crumpled wad in the top of my closet as I never know if she'll be able to wear it. I had to give the ultrasound pictures of our kidney bean to mom for safekeeping. I know one day I'll want them, but right now I feel like ripping them apart. I am so angry. This is our third miscarriage of our marriage, and our second this year. I don't know if I can so this again...we have an appointment with our RE on July 14th to start some Bloodwork to look for answers. Does anyone have any insight as to what I should ask to be done? I never imagined this would happen to us a third time.
ME: 24 with PCOS and a HX of Endo (rem. 04/12) 
DH: 24 with Low Motility 
TTC since 11/09
M/C 01/11 at >2w, chemical pregnancy
50mg Clomid 02/12, -OPK
100mg Clomid 03/12, -OPK
Surgery to remove endo. and check tubes 04/04/12
10d Provera & 150mg Clomid 05/12, 1st positive OPK!
BFP 06/12
DD born 01/30/13!!! 
TTC #2 since 09/13
Last Normal Cycle 12/16/13
Neg OPKs in 01/14
Neg Prog. in 01/14
10d Provera started 01/21/14
SURPRISE BFP 02/06/14
ER Visit 02/15/14, u/s showed empty uterus, BHCG = 111 
M/C 02/16/14, chemical pregnancy...M/C was confirmed 2/18/14, BHCG = 28
 05/12/2014 Started 50 mg Clomid
05/16/2014 Ended 50 mg Clomid
05/28/2014 Negative "Day 21" progesterone bloodwork
06/06/2014 BFP!!!
06/09/2014, beta HCG 75
06/12/2014 beta HCG 242!
06/20/2014 beta HCG 2823!
06/26/2014 m/c at 6w1d
07/21/2014 diagnosed with APS (Lupus Anticoagulant), Factor V, and MTHFR mutation in addition to PCOS and HX of Endometriosis
10/27/2014 repeat Lupus Anticoagulant tested negative

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Re: I'm Back...:-( (living child mentioned)

  • Yaz14Yaz14 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss  :( I don't know anything about testing but I just wanted to share my condolences. 

    image
    image

    Me(24) DH(26)/Married since March 2013
    BFP#1 February 18th 2014/EDD October 27th/MMC discovered at 10w/D&C April 7th 
    BFP#2 July 24th 2014/EDD April 4th 2015/Please be our RAINBOW!
    Report Reply
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  • ImJessesGirlImJessesGirl member
    I am so so very sorry. I know it sounds redundant and I am getting tired of hearing it myself... but what else can one say to us, right?? I hope they find some answers for you.
    image
    Me: 33 DH: 31
    DD: 10 (born August 2004)
    Married 03/01/14
    TTC#2
    BFP: 05/17/2014 EDD: 1/25/15 MMC: 06/30/2014
    BFP: 01/31/15 MMC: 02/25/15 





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  • cmhawkins1709cmhawkins1709 member
    Thanks girls. <3 
    ME: 24 with PCOS and a HX of Endo (rem. 04/12) 
    DH: 24 with Low Motility 
    TTC since 11/09
    M/C 01/11 at >2w, chemical pregnancy
    50mg Clomid 02/12, -OPK
    100mg Clomid 03/12, -OPK
    Surgery to remove endo. and check tubes 04/04/12
    10d Provera & 150mg Clomid 05/12, 1st positive OPK!
    BFP 06/12
    DD born 01/30/13!!! 
    TTC #2 since 09/13
    Last Normal Cycle 12/16/13
    Neg OPKs in 01/14
    Neg Prog. in 01/14
    10d Provera started 01/21/14
    SURPRISE BFP 02/06/14
    ER Visit 02/15/14, u/s showed empty uterus, BHCG = 111 
    M/C 02/16/14, chemical pregnancy...M/C was confirmed 2/18/14, BHCG = 28
     05/12/2014 Started 50 mg Clomid
    05/16/2014 Ended 50 mg Clomid
    05/28/2014 Negative "Day 21" progesterone bloodwork
    06/06/2014 BFP!!!
    06/09/2014, beta HCG 75
    06/12/2014 beta HCG 242!
    06/20/2014 beta HCG 2823!
    06/26/2014 m/c at 6w1d
    07/21/2014 diagnosed with APS (Lupus Anticoagulant), Factor V, and MTHFR mutation in addition to PCOS and HX of Endometriosis
    10/27/2014 repeat Lupus Anticoagulant tested negative

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  • mpiemontmpiemont member
    I'm so so sorry you are finding yourself here again. I hope you can find some strength & support. Sending big hugs your way.
    image
    DS1 born 4/17/11
    DS2 born 2/22/13
    MMC 5/16/14@8w2d
    DD due 5/9/15 Please be our     RAINBOW

    imageimage
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  • tlc35tlc35 member
    I'm sorry for your loss.  I believe there is section on the TTCAL blog about repeat pregnancy loss testing.
    Me: 37                                               
    DH: 45
    BFP #1 3/19/14  EDD 11/29/14 MMC D&C 4/24/14
    BFP #2  12/4/14 Beta #1 218 at 12dpo Beta #2 1055 at 16dpo
    Saw heartbeat 12/29.  Please be a rainbow.
    imagerainbows
              
    All welcome                                   
                              
    Report Reply
  • arschm02arschm02 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. This is our second this year too and I can totally relate. My heart hurts for you. I'm waiting to hear tomorrow what our next step is, as I really really really don't want to make it 3 in a row.
    "As soon as I saw you I knew an adventure was going to happen." ~Winnie the Pooh
    Report Reply
  • stephy1221stephy1221 member
    I am so sorry for your losses.
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers        Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers

    Oct Angel*BFP 1/25/14 * EDD 10/6/14 * US#1 2/26/14 *US#2 3/3/14 no heartbeat*d&c 3/12/14*

    BFP 1/17/15 * EDD 9/30/15

    image







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