1 day post D&C....

pinkglitterfly · June 2014

So I went in for my 9 week apt June 18th and found out we had last our baby. From the measurements the baby had stop growing a week before and there was no heartbeat. I have been heart broken. I had a D&C yesterday and beside my vagina feeling violated I really feel nothing. Don't get me wrong I will
always love my angel I never had but I'm already counting down the days till we can try again. Is this normal or will the more time that passed make this sink in a little more? How long did it take for AF to come back post mc/ D&C?

Btw in have been reading a lot of posts and I can already tell this is a fun group and that there are some potty mouth queens just like me.

Ladymouse · June 2014

Internet stranger hugs. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

redheadscu1 · June 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. There is no right way to feel after a miscarriage. In a way looking forward to trying again can be comforting. It doesn't mean you loved or wanted the baby you lost any less. Just take whatever time you need physically and emotionally and be good to yourself. (((Hug)))

icaughtfire · June 2014

I am so sorry! I've had 2 D&C's from my last mc (I had some complications) and I'm about a month out from the 2nd one. To be honest, I felt worse as time went on. It sunk it a little more & it's a shitty feeling. You may find your emotions to be all over the place over the next few weeks/months/however long, and that's okay. Having a support system is a big help, and don't be afraid to grieve in whichever way you see fit. My 2nd D&C was 5/29 with no period yet. It's okay to just want to try again, I know I sure do! Good luck!

raelynn71109 · June 2014

I am so sorry for your loss. I recently had a missed miscarriage as well. I had a D&C on 5/13 but then they found I had retained tissue and debris. I took Cytotec to try to resolve the issue but that didn't work so I had a second D&C on 6/20. So no AF for me yet. From what I've heard the "norm" is 4-6 weeks after D&C. But from what I've seen on this board and on TTCAL, it could take longer for some.

For me, emotionally, I've had my ups and downs. Some days I feel good and feel like I am really starting to move on, but then other days I really struggle. Don't worry about what you think you "should" be feeling. There is no right or wrong. Just take care of yourself! ((Hugs))

Bee1112 · June 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I really have no advice or experience to give. We all grieve in our own way. Big hugs! Stick around these ladies are pretty fun!

FJM85 · June 2014

So sorry for your loss. Hugs.

chaysefaith · June 2014

I'm very sorry for your loss. I did not have a D&C so I'm not sure on how long it takes for your period to return.

On the grief front, what you're feeling is completely normal. I lost my son on January 28, when I had my follow up appointment with my ob/gyn 2 weeks later my only question was "when can we try again?" For me it was about the comfort of being pregnant again. Nothing will ever bring my son back, but at least I could be pregnant again. Don't push yourself too hard, or tell yourself it's been long enough and you need to get it together. Yesterday was 5 months since I lost him and I still break down crying for no reason, I still hurt when I see pregnant women. My point is your grief is nobody else's but YOUR OWN. Don't let anyone else tell you how you should grieve. Hugs to you, I hope you take care of yourself.

SpartanChick88 · June 2014

I'm so sorry you are going through this. As others already said, there is no right or wrong way to feel... it's your grief to handle your way. You will likely go through a different emotion every day and eventually it will not hurt so much. You never forget but you won't want to curl into a ball and cry all the time. As far as wanting to get back on the horse, I think that's normal too. Nothing will bring back your angel and your life has to go on. When you are physically and emotionally ready you will do just that but, in the meantime, be kind to yourself.

holliberry28 · June 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree there is no wrong or right way to grieve. You need to do what's best for you and take care of yourself. If that means looking ahead toward the future, then that's what you do.

Welcome and Good Luck, hope you stick around.

rlyttle · June 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss! I felt good after my first MC, but the second one hit me pretty hard. Maybe not at first, but I started getting pissed/sad seeing pregnant people and overthinking things. That was when I knew I needed to take a few more months off TTC and just relax. Then once we TTC again I felt like I was in a much better place. GL!

tlc35 · June 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. I felt kinda like you did for the first few days and then the sadness really hit me a few days later. Don't be surprised if something small triggers you and you get really upset but like PP said everybody processes differently.
For me my period came back 23 days after my D&C but for most people it seems to be longer than that.
Welcome to the board.

ImJessesGirl · June 2014

I'm going through it right now too. I will be administered the misoprostal tomorrow and I'll be in the same boat as you. I am full of questions and just have no idea where to go from here. Most of the time I feel hopeful, but then I get sad too.

KatzKiss · June 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. I recently went through the same thing. When we didn't see the heart beat I was devastated and in tears. During the D&C itself, I was like you. I didn't really feel anything. After that, the sadness came in waves for a while. I got my period at 50 dp which ways a few days ago and I've been much happier since. It's okay to look forward to trying again. That was one of the first questions I asked my OB. He told me that " what did I do wrong" and "when can we start trying again" were the first two questions he always gets. Don't feel guilty about that at all. Any feelings you have about you're loss are completely legitimate. I wish you the best in your healing process.

okayestmom12 · June 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a missed m/c and subsequent D&C in early 2011. We waited to TTC again because we needed to for our own mental well being. But wanting to get right back to it is absolutely normal. For me, my SIL was pregnant at the same time and due a week after I was set to be due - it was brutal. Coping with that sucked a big one for a few months but we healed and moved forward. Hugs!

pinkglitterfly · June 2014

Thanks everyone for the kind words and encouragement. This whole thing just sucks and to top it off today my hubs and I got into it. I know that it is because we are both stressed about this. I react by crying and then he gets freaked out. I know he loves me and is hurting but I wish he would open his mouth and tell me instead of blurting out a random comment that has noting to do with the situation. I guess I'm just ranting now. It's been a very bad emotional day and I think that it sucks even more because hubs is leaving for a week in the morning. Fml I may need all your help to keep sane while he is gone. Naked men and dirty jokes are acceptable!

PrimRoseMama · June 2014

I'm so sorry for your loss. When I had the same procedure it was two months before my betas were zero & I got my period. Wishing you the best moving forward.

FitMom3510 · June 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. Everyone greives differetntly and I think how you feel is totally normal. Welcome to the board and I hope you don't have to wait too long!