Facebook announcement?

FloridaSun82 · June 2014

I am 29 weeks today and have yet to put anything on Facebook. My thought has been, if I haven't seen you in 9 months, you don't need to know this is happening. However, we do want to post when the baby is born which kinda makes me feel like I should give some people a heads up (I think we have family members that don't even know), and I really have no desire to make individual phone calls or e-mails to people that I'm not close with but kinda obliged to let know that I'm having a baby. My other issue with the facebook posts is that I've gotten depressed seeing all the pregnancy announcements when we were struggling and I don't want to do that to anyone else. So, I wanted to address IF in my facebook announcement, but don't completely know how to do that. Any thoughts?

SKLH · June 2014

I don't have any advice b/c I honestly feel the EXACT same way as you. I am not as far along as you but I have zero desire to tell people on fb as most of htem I haven't spoken to in 5+ years. If they don't know all htat I've been through and that I'm finally pregnant, I don't care if they know now lol I konw there are a select few (especially family) who you feel obligated to tell. Maybe I'd make a status that's only viewable to those family members so they are not blind sighted when you announce the birth. I think fb has a way of limiting who can see certain statuses. Otherwise, I have every intention of just saying I had a baby born when I do. I don't care if people are totally shocked. Good luck to you!

xc1148 · June 2014

I have zero desire to "announce" on FB, but I will be posting a baby pic. Don't stress about giving people a heads up...if they were close to you/your family they would know you're pregnant. Good luck with everything!

marnief · June 2014

Our FB announcement was something like, "We are thrilled to be expecting our miracle daughter (in early September) after 7 months of infertility treatments. We recognize that our journey has been shorter than most, and we are grateful. Those still on the journey are in our thoughts and prayers. And we are happy to share details with anyone who wants to know more."

Mrs.McIrish · June 2014

I'm in a similar boat but not as far along as you. But DH wants to say something. At this point, I plan to wait until our anatomy which isn't scheduled until almost 21 weeks. If I agree to post something, I want to make a reference to our struggles just because I don't want someone else struggling to get upset at our announcement. Not sure if DH will agree to that exposure. I am always amazed at how some IFers are just as bad as fertiles with over-posting about pregnancy once they are pregnant and I never want to be that way. Drives me up a wall. How can they forget how much it hurt to see those posts all the freaking time?

xtina78 · June 2014

We haven't put anything on FB. I pretty much evacuated FB during our IF struggles. However my mom and sister and much of extended family are ALWAYS on FB and are pressuring me to put baby pics on there. DH and I are working on an alternative way to get them the pictures they want - i.e. maybe some sort of private FB group or using a different site or something. For me FB is too braggy, image-crafty, and public.

FloridaSun82 · June 2014

marnief said:

Our FB announcement was something like, "We are thrilled to be expecting our miracle daughter (in early September) after 7 months of infertility treatments. We recognize that our journey has been shorter than most, and we are grateful. Those still on the journey are in our thoughts and prayers. And we are happy to share details with anyone who wants to know more."

I kind of love that!

orange1414 · June 2014

We announced on Facebook last week, but mostly because we were very public about our adoption journey on Facebook and I felt bad about letting all those people who supported our adoption journey think we were still waiting. It also helped me feel like this pregnancy was real. I did have some language like "after five years and much medical intervention" so that people would know that this wasn't a case of "just relax" or "just adopt" and you'll get pregnant. We had so, so many people rooting for us over the years, both with treatments and adoption, that it felt important to share some good news with them for once.

pmpknbride · June 2014

DH and I "came out" on FB for NIAW. I overwhelmed with so much love and support from our friends and family. There were a lot of friends that I hadn't kept in touch with much PM with stories of their own IF struggle. Overall It was such a positive experience and I do plan on sharing the happy news with everyone. Besides the announcement though I do not plan to share too much about my pregnancy and I'll also limit pictures of the actual kiddo when they come along. As another poster mentioned you can set up lists to pick and choose who you want to see your posts, only about 50 people out of over 300 something friends on Facebook actually see everything I post - I'm very selective of my audience.

Aurora1181 · June 2014

We did announce the pregnancy on facebook- but I know how you feel. We said something like, "it has not been an easy or short journey, but with the help of some amazing doctors, nurses, and modern medicine, we are so grateful to finally be expecting twins..." I was actually really surprised at the number of private messages I got from other women who were dealing with infertility that I didn't know about.. Acknowledging the struggle opened that door for conversation. Since that announcement we've only posted one other thing about the pregnancy- the sexes/names.

FloridaSun82 · June 2014

Thanks for all of your input. We're doing maternity pictures next week, so I figure I'll announce it with a picture, but am definitely stealing some wording from you guys!

sandollar1010 · June 2014

We have been struggling with this too. DH really feels like after everything we've been through we deserve to have a happy announcement. I just know how hard it was to see those pop up on my news feed. I don't want to go into too many details because I don't want to be a debbie-downer, but I was thinking along the lines of "After a long and difficult journey, DH and I couldn't be happier to share our news..." I'm glad this was posted because I am still looking for other ideas.

formerwigirl · June 2014

I am like most of the PP. We did an announcement on facebook but I made sure after the announcement to address what we went through to get here. I was very open about our journey the whole time and I explained that we were some of the lucky ones to only have gone through treatment for 5 months. I've also explained that I wouldn't post many pictures because I know how it felt to see that stuff when I was dealing with IF. I got a bit of Oh come on your pregnant now enjoy it. I've since posted one or two pictures of my bump but only because I got a lot of requests for them. I am still trying to be sensitive to others because I remember how bad I felt seeing those posts.

Lady2010 · June 2014

I'm honestly not sure yet if we are going to announce on FB. We are going to tell our parents this weekend, then siblings in 2 weeks. After we hit the 13 week mark and get our test results back we will start to tell others - but am going to request it be kept off social media as I would hate for one of our friends or family members to find out that way.

Eventually I think there will be some mention on FB - but likely not until I am 5 or 6 mos along, and even then, it wouldn't be an announcement. (I have several younger cousins who live their lives and communicate on FB - so getting them to understand not to put anything on there is going to be hard; same with some relatives overseas where culturally they wouldn't get it).

I too have had a hard time with friends / family members announcing / posting monthly bump pics, etc, as it hasn't been an easy road for us.

In addition, I don't like a ton of personal info out there - I am ok with a photo or something every now and again of us or something but just not big on sharing such personal news - esp since as I went through my list of 'friends' many are more like acquaintances.

Similar to pp - those who are important to us will hear directly from us or our parents (I am sure they will want to call their siblings themselves - and with a large extended family they will be making some calls I am sure)

TXUltraRunner · June 2014

DH encouraged me to come out on Facebook recently. I was very much opposed to it but I think it was because I was having a hard time letting myself be happy or excited after everything we've been through. For some reason i've felt like I don't have a right to be as excited as everyone else simply because of our struggle. DH thought that by telling more people and seeing their excitement it would help me heal. He was right. I simply posted "DH and I are very fortunate to have been successful after one round of IVF. We are expecting around the new year." it was simple, it acknowleged our struggle and it was to the point. The response was overwhelming. I never realized we had so many people rooting for us (we'd been pretty open about our situation).

MrsC430 · June 2014

We also struggled w/ announcing on FB. We ended up going for it, and I'm glad we did!

After my NT scan, I posted - "After a long journey and many prayers, DH and I are overjoyed to share that we're expecting twins in November! We're beyond thankful for the love, support, and hope that has been given to us along the way."

penad5 · June 2014

I will be announcing on Facebook - however my facebook friends list is run like a tight ship so I don't have many people on there who wouldn't eventually find out anyway - and most people even if they don't know the extent to which we went to finally get here - do know we have been trying for years

However since you never know what people are struggling with I think i'll keep it short and sweet a single announcement saying i'm expecting and another when baby is born. I most certainly won't be doing belly pics or using any facebook ap to show the progress - mind you i wouldn't do that even if i didn't have to go through all this to finally get here

jaztastic · June 2014

A fellow IF friend sent this to me and it made my heart melt. It sums up and pretty much says everything without saying much. I dont know if youve seen this or something similar, but im considering announcing something like it myself.

sparkles2040 · June 2014

We struggled with telling people too but I ended up posting: "After 3 years of heartache, countless treatments, numerous medicines, and a round of IVF, we are thrilled to announce Baby Fuller will be joining our family January 2015. We appreciate all the prayers and kind words. We cant express how grateful we truly are."

darby17 · June 2014

We waited until 20 weeks before we made an announcement on Facebook. I posted a photo of some baby booties that I bought on our vacation to Ireland. I had been posting pics of our trip and so when we got home I posted the photo of the booties and said something like "my favorite souvenir from our trip, for our new arrival due this November" I didn't post anything about our 4 year long struggle. My close friends and family do know about that. I have been married 8 years, always wanted kids, turning 40 this fall, so anyone who knows us at all can see this is our miracle baby. I wanted to keep my announcement positive and not overly personal. It was really fun to see the overwhelming response from everyone. We got so many comments and personal messages. So if you do decide to post, I think you will be amazed at the love and well wishes that come your way.

Momarazzi007 · June 2014

So I am in a delicate situation about the same thing and am so grateful for this thread! I do want to gently acknowledge our struggle and I would prefer to wait- but my husband is desperate to tell everyone now. I am grateful I was able to get him to wait until mid July (under guise of waiting to surprise his Dad for his birthday- or else it would already be out there now and at least this way we get our 6&1/2 week u/s before that and a little piece of mind). But once we tell them- his mom has a mouth on her that has no shut mode. It is like she takes pride in knowing and sharing everyone's business and I want to be the one to tell my family, not them finding out about through her grand public post on FB about how SHE is expecting (seriously, this lady made her own baby registry w dd and set up nursery in her house instead of helping us). So I have to have my announcement ready to post the second they figure it out from gift to hit post on Facebook on my mobile phone. I don't think it is right I am in that position, but it is what it is and again- I am truly grateful for this thread- I am taking a few of these ideas and going to merge them and suck it up and own it!!!

dp21 · June 2014

~Don't hate me~

This may be our one and only baby so hubby and I are going all out, we hired a photographer and are going to do a traditional pregnancy announcement, maternity photos, and newborn photos with the same photographer. We purchased a couple of cute props and will probably post on FB after anatomy scan. We don't plan to address our infertility on FB.

However, all our close friends/family/and all of my co-workers/graduate school friends know of our struggle and know we are pregnant. We have around 20 followers of friends/colleagues that follow our locked infertility/pregnancy blog on a daily basis and stay updated that way. So we have been pretty open, just not with 600 people on FB....have collected quite the variety, have been on FB now for a decade LOL. When I first joined, I could scroll through all 30 members of my University.

For me, pregnancy announcements and things never bothered me...I figured maybe it's because of my job as a nurse (it really does toughen you up). I currently work with preemies and infants, so I am around babies/new moms constantly. I love taking care of the babies, I feel like they give me good luck and figure it's good practice!

FloridaSun82 · June 2014

Momarazzi007 - That is CRAZY!!! I guess I won't complain too much about my mother, who loves referring to the baby as hers and is legitimately mad at me for not being more excited and confident about this.

dp21 - definitely don't hate you! A little jealous that I'm not more secure with it.

We hired a maternity photographer as well, but those pics will be for us. However, after they're taken, we're going to post one and say...

After much medical intervention, and a lot of prayers and tears, DH and I are excited to be expecting a son in early September. We are so hopeful that our infertility journey will have a happy ending and our thoughts go out to those still on the journey. A huge thank you to those who have been there every step of the way, including the wonderful doctors and nurses at -- and then I'll tag our clinic.

Momarazzi007 · June 2014

@FloridaSun82‌ that is beautiful!!!!

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