Asking family members to get flu shot and TDAP?

KMW08 · June 2014

@ProcessofBecoming‌ I would look into the flumist with your SD. Flumist is the live virus (why pg women aren't supposed to get this), so although not common it's entirely possible she will get the flu from it. I would look into the facts of how soon she would possibly get symptoms and how contagious she could possibly be, esp if she gets the mist close to your lo's birth.

If I had any young kids around where this is a possibility I would look into this.

ETA: I still think getting the flumist is better than no flu vaccine.

absolutelymaybe · June 2014

*Hijack thread moment - sorry*

Sooo...I have been thinking about this thread and while I'm not telling people they need to get vaccinated to be around our babies (our family doesn't really live around us nor will they be staying with us for any extended period of time or watching them right after they're born), my idea was that we'd be keeping them mostly at home during those first few months.

Last night DH spoke to his mom and she mentioned the holidays and how it's not a big deal to travel with a newborn -- they took DH, who was born on Nov. 13, to visit family for Thanksgiving the year he was born. It's looking like our babies will be be born sometime between Nov. 1 - Nov. 14ish (they won't let me go past 38 weeks). I'm like, "So....providing our babies are out of the hospital and don't see any NICU time, they expect us to travel Thanksgiving (the day before the baby's technical due date)?"

I was thinking this from a purely stress standpoint of having to travel with two newborns, but now I'm starting to think about bringing the babies around all those people and their germs (and I don't know who has flu shots or whatever and I know they'd totally side-eye me as a paranoid parent if I started asking).

Is that unreasonable of me to want to keep the babies home in this situation? Even if the relatives did have flu shots...all those germs and pre-term babies?

jlove253 · June 2014

If i remember right, My ob with dd told me that when pregnant women get the flu shot te immunity is passed to baby too. Anyone else hear this?

missnacholover · June 2014

absolutelymaybe said:

*Hijack thread moment - sorry*
Sooo...I have been thinking about this thread and while I'm not telling people they need to get vaccinated to be around our babies (our family doesn't really live around us nor will they be staying with us for any extended period of time or watching them right after they're born), my idea was that we'd be keeping them mostly at home during those first few months.

Last night DH spoke to his mom and she mentioned the holidays and how it's not a big deal to travel with a newborn -- they took DH, who was born on Nov. 13, to visit family for Thanksgiving the year he was born. It's looking like our babies will be be born sometime between Nov. 1 - Nov. 14ish (they won't let me go past 38 weeks). I'm like, "So....providing our babies are out of the hospital and don't see any NICU time, they expect us to travel Thanksgiving (the day before the baby's technical due date)?"

I was thinking this from a purely stress standpoint of having to travel with two newborns, but now I'm starting to think about bringing the babies around all those people and their germs (and I don't know who has flu shots or whatever and I know they'd totally side-eye me as a paranoid parent if I started asking).

Is that unreasonable of me to want to keep the babies home in this situation? Even if the relatives did have flu shots...all those germs and pre-term babies?

If I was in your position, I'd be skipping it.

runningmama14 · June 2014

missnacholover said:

absolutelymaybe said:

*Hijack thread moment - sorry*
Sooo...I have been thinking about this thread and while I'm not telling people they need to get vaccinated to be around our babies (our family doesn't really live around us nor will they be staying with us for any extended period of time or watching them right after they're born), my idea was that we'd be keeping them mostly at home during those first few months.

Last night DH spoke to his mom and she mentioned the holidays and how it's not a big deal to travel with a newborn -- they took DH, who was born on Nov. 13, to visit family for Thanksgiving the year he was born. It's looking like our babies will be be born sometime between Nov. 1 - Nov. 14ish (they won't let me go past 38 weeks). I'm like, "So....providing our babies are out of the hospital and don't see any NICU time, they expect us to travel Thanksgiving (the day before the baby's technical due date)?"

I was thinking this from a purely stress standpoint of having to travel with two newborns, but now I'm starting to think about bringing the babies around all those people and their germs (and I don't know who has flu shots or whatever and I know they'd totally side-eye me as a paranoid parent if I started asking).

Is that unreasonable of me to want to keep the babies home in this situation? Even if the relatives did have flu shots...all those germs and pre-term babies?

If I was in your position, I'd be skipping it.

Ditto!

ProcessofBecoming · June 2014

KMW08 said:

@ProcessofBecoming‌ I would look into the flumist with your SD. Flumist is the live virus (why pg women aren't supposed to get this), so although not common it's entirely possible she will get the flu from it. I would look into the facts of how soon she would possibly get symptoms and how contagious she could possibly be, esp if she gets the mist close to your lo's birth. If I had any young kids around where this is a possibility I would look into this. ETA: I still think getting the flumist is better than no flu vaccine.

The difficulty I run into here is with her mother (my husband's ex)--she does all the doctor visits and whatnot for SD (she's custodial). She reacted really poorly when she learned I was pregnant the first time around; I'm expecting a nuclear meltdown with this baby (she now outright ignores me and her son). I am going to ask my husband to talk with her about the actual flu shot versus mist, but I also know he tries to avoid confrontation with the ex. Hopefully I can get him to intercede. Fun times. I do not have any contact with ex-wife, or I would do it myself.

phdprocrastinator · June 2014

No way in hell are we travelling for Thanksgiving or Christmas!

That's awesome that it worked out for DH's parents, but I would be too overwhelmed. You're going to be running on fumes at that point.

Can you just tell them that you're going to "play it by ear"? That way you're not saying no, but you're also not committing to coming?

absolutelymaybe · June 2014

@missnacholover‌ @runningmama14‌ @phdprocrastinator‌ thanks for your response! I'm totally on the same page then. I don't have a problem figuring a way out of traveling for the holidays. Babies' health is top priority.

Edit: damn you autocorrect

Ineedmorecoffee · June 2014

None of us ever get the flu shot. I'll have to bring this up to my doctor at my next appointment and see what she thinks.

wallygirl · June 2014

@AeandJb‌ If you're afraid someone still didn't use soap keep antibacterial gel handy and have them apply it before handling the baby. I totally would!

lizzielu82 · June 2014

Now this makes me paranoid - I really wanted to go to a Christmas family dinner… :-SS

dr_pr · June 2014

We are definitely staying home both Thanksgiving and Christmas! There's no way I'm traveling with a newborn and a 2.5 year old, irregardless of germs! @absolutelymaybe, I couldn't even imagine trying to travel with 2 newborns, particularly when you could be just getting out of the NICU. Did your in-laws have to travel with twins? If not, tell them to back off.

On the vaccines, I'm telling anyone who is staying overnight that they need to get vaccinated (my parents and MIL). Everyone else will be trusted to use common sense about not coming over if they're sick. All of our friends have kids and are used to this.

Lilwatz · June 2014

We are flying to see family for Christmas (barring a medical issue of course). I know a good number of people who traveled with a 1-3 month old successfully. It's one of the only chances for my daughter to meet her cousins as this is the "last family Christmas". We might so go see my grandparents since they are too old to travel.

Yeah, I know it will be hard and tiring. But family, yeah it's worth it.

dr_pr · June 2014

KUinCBUS said:
More on holiday travel (maybe we should start a thread)...

Travel of some sort is not impossible with infants. They are quite portable. We took a long road trip with DD when she was nearly 2 months old and flew with her when she was nearly 6 months. BUT the difference between 2 weeks old and 2 months old is HUGE (as is the difference between singletons and twins though I can't speak to that personally).

Also, for me, my PP physical recovery was difficult and I really pushed myself too hard in the beginning to accommodate the interests of others (which actually landed me back in the hospital).

Screw the winter holidays, my family is doing Christmas in July next year! Heh.

I agree that travel at Christmas would be different than at Thanksgiving. We flew with DD when she was 3 months old, and it was our easiest flight with her ever. She either looked around, ate, or slept (6 hours total travel time). Now is not as easy! Our beef with travel at Christmas is the 2.5 year old, not the 2 month old! Particularly since we'd have to buy 3 full tickets at holiday prices.

mockingjay1 · June 2014

Anyone spending much length of time at all with our baby will get their flu and TDAP vaccines. I'm sorry but babies die of influenza and pertussis, and if you think getting a couple shots isn't worth my son's health, you will not be seeing him much (if at all). I've already told my parents they will need to get it, and we will tell DH's parents as well.

Nfranco973 · June 2014

My kids both get one and I usually do as well. DH doesn't. I do have to say that the flu shot does not prevent exposure to flu. If exposed, It does make symptoms less severe because of partial immunity you have built as the shot itself is at least about 60% effective against prevention. My son has asthma and he definitely doesn't go without it as the doc always recommends he get one.
Good hand washing for those selected few that handle baby during that time is a must.

pennyandandy · June 2014

jlove253 said:

If i remember right, My ob with dd told me that when pregnant women get the flu shot te immunity is passed to baby too. Anyone else hear this?

Yes, this is true. www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/pregnancy-week-by-week/expert-answers/influenza/faq-20058522

PandaCon · June 2014

I traveled (1.25 hr and 40 min car ride, not major travel) when DS was 17 and 20 days old for 2 family Christmas. I didn't have a problem. That being said I will probably stay home for Thanksgiving we'll have to see how I'm feeling/when I deliver.

jillybean7582 · June 2014

KUinCBUS said:
DH and I got TDAP when we had DD, 2 years ago. I think they suggest boosters for adults at 10 year intervals so we shouldn't need to re-vax this time around.

DH's parents have it already and my parents aren't really around so no worries there. DD had an in-home caregiver for several months (caregiver came to our house several days a week), she had TDAP also. We will look for a current TDAP vax if/when interviewing future caregiviers as well. That's about the extent of it. We are less vigilant about the flu vaccine.

You might want to double check with your doctor to see if they will reccommend you get the booster. I thought we would be good too since DS is't even 2 yet but when she was going over the items that would be upcoming at my next few apts. she included the dtap. I said I had just had it leas than 2 yrs ago and she said they still recommended for moms because it provides added immunity for the baby. Of course every doctor is different so who knows what you doctor does just a thought.

As far as family. We did ask grandparent and our sibli gs to get the dtap with DS. It really wasn't a big issue. We said we would like them to get it and they all went it and did it without and fuss. We didn't demand and they didn't argue about it. I honestly don't see why a grandparent or other adult that is around the baby frequently would make a big deal about trying to keep baby protected.

missnacholover · June 2014

DH is on board - he already got his TDAP at his appointment this week.

As far as traveling - we've already expressed that we won't be traveling for Christmas when we have children. People are welcome to come here but I want Christmas morning just us. I'm not sure how it will go this year. My parents usually come to visit around Christmastime so I am sure they will be down at some point. Not sure about DH's parents, although they've already said they want to come and make us Thanksgiving dinner.

I'm definitely going to get one of those big Purell pumps to keep handy for people to sanitize before holding the baby.

mockingjay1 · June 2014

excitedpreggo12 said:

So do all of you guys that commented have the father's on board with the vaccine for the family and himself?

Yep - DH is on board (he actually just had a TDAP a couple summers ago and already gets the flu shot every year).

lizgrace03 · June 2014

We will fly home for Christmas to Michigan barring any medical issues. My brother and SIL flew to our wedding when my nephew was only a little over a month, and he was great!

hopeangel2023 · June 2014

Emnob28 said:
I hadn't really thought about it, but I might just mention the TDAP thing to my siblings. In CO they require grandparents who visit in the hospital to get a booster so I'm not worried about them. But I know I didn't realize I needed a TDAP booster again until I went in for a routine doctors visit and she asked. As it turns out, I hadn't had one since I went to college many moons ago. Probably just good for everyone to know as a reminder anyway.

I didn't know that about CO, they never said anything to any of the grandparents with ds last February... I will have to look into it, I really like the idea.

jlove253 · June 2014

pennyandandy said:

jlove253 said:

If i remember right, My ob with dd told me that when pregnant women get the flu shot te immunity is passed to baby too. Anyone else hear this?

Yes, this is true. www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/pregnancy-week-by-week/expert-answers/influenza/faq-20058522

_____________
Ok good. I was going to post that it's another reason to get the shot, but then for some reason I doubted it. Which is silly because its not like my dr would lie to me... Anyways...

I never got the flu shot until I was pregnant with dd and that was the reason I said yes. Then dd got a liver infection that was really dangerous when she was 2 months old that inpacted her growth and development, so I kept getting it for her sake.

With a lot of teachers in our family lots of them already get the flu shot. I'll be encouraging everyone to get the pertussis booster, I not for the sake of the baby, for their own good. With dd we bought a huge hand sanitizer pump and no one could come in the house without a pump of it. And if by the off chance someone came in with their hands full we had another smaller one in the bathroom and directed them their right away. That made me feel secure enough.

wallygirl · June 2014

@excitedpreggo12‌ Yes DH is on board. He got his TDaP last time with no prob and gets his flu vaccine every year. He was the one that spoke with his mom regarding her vaccines last time. His mom and I are both nurses so he is used to the "avoid germ" overkill

@jillybean7582‌ You are correct. Studies show it is beneficial to get the TDaP with each pregnancy. I will be getting a booster this time even though DD will just turn 2 before the baby is born.

Jbosarge85 · June 2014

jillybean7582 said:

DH and I got TDAP when we had DD, 2 years ago. I think they suggest boosters for adults at 10 year intervals so we shouldn't need to re-vax this time around. DH's parents have it already and my parents aren't really around so no worries there. DD had an in-home caregiver for several months (caregiver came to our house several days a week), she had TDAP also. We will look for a current TDAP vax if/when interviewing future caregiviers as well. That's about the extent of it. We are less vigilant about the flu vaccine.
You might want to double check with your doctor to see if they will reccommend you get the booster. I thought we would be good too since DS is't even 2 yet but when she was going over the items that would be upcoming at my next few apts. she included the dtap. I said I had just had it leas than 2 yrs ago and she said they still recommended for moms because it provides added immunity for the baby. Of course every doctor is different so who knows what you doctor does just a thought. As far as family. We did ask grandparent and our sibli gs to get the dtap with DS. It really wasn't a big issue. We said we would like them to get it and they all went it and did it without and fuss. We didn't demand and they didn't argue about it. I honestly don't see why a grandparent or other adult that is around the baby frequently would make a big deal about trying to keep baby protected.

Lurking from July 14 it's actually recommended that you get them with each pregnancy to protect the baby since they don't get first series of shots till 2 months. Or you can get it at the hospital after baby is born and they get it through the breast milk (if yu breast feed). I had DD jan 13 DS is due in 4 weeks and I'll be getting it again soon.

Nfranco973 · June 2014

@ excitedpreggo12.. Yes, DH is on board. He doesn't like the look of needles but oh well lol

staugustinewedding · June 2014

Hubby and I will get the TDAP booster and just ask people to please wash their hands before touching baby or don't come over at all if you are sick.

justjinny · July 2014

It never even crossed my mind to demand such a thing from family! With DS we were very strict about using hand sanitizer to the point of being blunt and pushy with visitors. No clean hands = no cuddle time. I get it though if family will be a primary caregiver.

FWIW, we were required to get the TDAP before adopting, but not the flu shot...

We traveled for the holidays last year when DS was 1-2 mo. old, but only have a 2 hour drive and didn't go to and really big get togethers. My Mom got miffed that we wouldn't make an extra 4 hour round trip in one day to see my Grandma and extended family for Christmas dinner. She's over it now. My opinion is to do what you feel you can handle and don't sweat it if others get upset, they aren't the ones adjusting to the new family situation.

turtles7 · July 2014

excitedpreggo12 said:
So do all of you guys that commented have the father's on board with the vaccine for the family and himself?

Yup. DH and I got our tdap last year when we decided to start trying. I was expecting some pushback or comments about how crazy I am but no hesitation from him. He told me "make the appointment and I'll be there." We already told our parents but will probably need to tell them again to show how serious we are.

MrsTuna08 · July 2014

@absolutelymaybe it is my IL's year for Christmas and we usually go to a tropical place with them. They wanted to just take the baby along with us this year. This made me highly anxious. I wasn't so concerned about how baby would fly, but all the icky people in the airport during the holidays, plus the crazy of a brand new baby (depending on when I deliver, baby would only be 3-5 weeks old), plus who knows what state my recovery will be, etc - as a FTM, I just don't know how things are going to go. And I really don't want to do all that crazy stuck inside a rented beach house a plane ride away from my home. We asked my OB. She said as long as baby isn't preemie and is at least 2 weeks old, travel should be fine, but if you're this anxious about this already just don't go. Soooo, moral of my story, blame it on your OB. My IL's let it drop immediately after we said, "My OB recommended that we stay closer to home this year."

Andplusalso, I am only having one baby. Trying to juggle two newborns far away from home? Nope, just no.

Maelara · July 2014

Luckily, I live in canada and thanksgiving is in October. So no worries there. With Christmas, however, we will be resuming like normal. When I had a csection with DD she was born the Tuesday, I was let out of the hospital on the Friday and we went to family dinner the Sunday. It's really not a big deal with ONE newborn. I wouldn't attempt anything with two newborns until you know how you guys will handle it.

abbyful · July 2014

I'm really struggling with when I will get my flu shot. I will ask my doctor if I can wait until after baby is born.

Logically I know it's safe and recommended for pregnant women, but I miscarried after getting it last year and PGAL brain sucks and it makes me paranoid.

I'll be breastfeeding, so baby will get some immunity that way at least.

jaminjeff · July 2014

My DS1 was due 11/8/11 and was born three days after that. We had told our families in the summer that we would not be coming to anyone's house for Thanksgiving. DH's family was upset but understood, my family was more than accepting. My dad made a turkey and dropped it off for us (I made some sides to go with it) and we just stayed home as a little family of three (DSS was at his mom's that year) and it was perfect.

We did go to family for Christmas. We carried a bottle of Purel with us and my DS still, at less than 7 weeks old caught a nasty cold.

This baby will definitely not be traveling for Thanksgiving (I'm due the day after Thanksgiving - ticker is wrong) and I'll most likely have him/her a few days before during a scheduled c/s. Christmas is up in the air. If we do go out and about to family, I'll be doing a lot of baby wearing and telling people not to kiss my 4 week old baby.

JenMark2011 · July 2014

I'll be asking any close family that'll be visiting/taking care of the baby to get them both. I am a nurse and I see first hand some of this and pertussis (whooping cough) is just down right scary! I won't be taking any chances!

JenMark2011 · July 2014

That's peak season for respiratory illnesses. Personally I would hold off flying until spring. I wouldn't want to chance it with a newborn. We live far from our family to but we make a point to visit twice a year. This is our excuse to get family to finally visit us instead! (This supposed to be for AbsolutelyMaybe not sure how to attach it to her original reply.)

jlamb1206 · July 2014

Well I'm super clever and was 3 pages into this thread b4 realizing I was not in Dec14 group where I belong but recently had this discussion w the ILs so here's my two cents.

MIL runs a daycare and our city is having a measles AND mumps outbreak so we approached them about getting both whooping cough and MMR boosters for 2 reasons 1) their level of exposure to other germy kids is higher than avg 2) they live very nearby and will be around the baby on a daily basis, esp if I have a difficult recovery. BIL is in college and will be living at home all Dec and will see the baby often so we asked him to get whooping cough booster; he had a million other boosters when leaving for college and is as safe as a human possibly can be as a result. We will ask for flu and whooping cough of my parents if they end up coming up for 3 weeks in Dec and Jan like they have been discussing. ILs were VERY receptive and luckly their daycare requires all kids be vax'd. They will be getting whooping cough but they are older and actually had measles, mumps and rubella as kids AND then got vax'd later in life for scouting activities with DH so Dr said they have better immunity than the avg person that only got vax'd and don't need a booster. They always get flu shots on their own so we didn't bring it up. All other visitors will just be asked to wash hands and use common sense if they are sick.

As for holiday travel I will host Thanksgiving bc we want to have people over to our new house but realistically will probably sit on my ever widening backside with bun still safely in the oven (hopefully!) and lean heavily on DH, FIL and mom for much of the prep. By Christmas I will have a 1-2 week old and don't plan on traveling or hosting anyone other than our parents.

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