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Babywise: good, bad and the ugly...

manna1212manna1212 member
in May 2014 Moms
DH and I are taking anout putting ds on a schedule to see if we can increase sleeping through the night (or at least longer stretches) a bit more. I have been told about babywise from a few people and I have done some reading on it. Has anyone used it, are currently using it, or know someone else who has? Any thoughts or concerns? Anything that works or doesn't? I know each baby is different , just looking for thoughts. Thanks!
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Re: Babywise: good, bad and the ugly...

  • usernewnameusernewname member
    What's the theory of baby wise? Then I can form an opinion :)
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  • manna1212manna1212 member
    The premise as I understand it is baby working off a cycle of eat, awake, sleep and trying to stick to a schedule with some room to move around for growth spurts or when baby needs to eat more.
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  • ladywolf1313ladywolf1313 member
    My brother n law swear by that book and recommeded it to us. We are currently trying it but it is a lot of work.
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  • pistolpackinmommapistolpackinmomma member
    https://m.aapnews.aappublications.org/content/14/4/21.abstract

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  • spacepotatoesspacepotatoes member
    edited June 2014
    The EASY routine is meant for 4+ months. You can do an improvised version with newborns but on their own schedule.
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  • spacepotatoesspacepotatoes member
    A recent discussion with more comments here:

    https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12376663/anyone-reading-babywise#latest
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  • usernewnameusernewname member
    Why does the routine have to follow a certain. Progress ion? Because a book said so?
    I love routine. I know children thrive on it.

    But we're not there yet.

    I like to follow a routine of some sort but it's doesn't follow an exact progression.

    For example. Mornings we wake change and eat. Then maybe I can play with him or he sits in his dad's office. Then he eats. No time limits or constraints. Then he may sleep or play some more. Then eat etc etc. There's a predictable routine and some days we've repeated that twice before noon. Some days once.

    I'm just following him and his cues. I just want him to learn he can rely on us to meet his needs. Then at some point yes nap will happen at X time or after Y event.

    Hope this makes sense. Takes a while to do it one handed while the other holds your boob.
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  • manna1212manna1212 member
    I completely agree that they are too young for a routine, it was more for when LO is old enough..
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  • pistolpackinmommapistolpackinmomma member
    ^ it irks me to no end when people say you need a routine but really they mean you need a schedule. I ran into that a lot in another moms group.

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  • runningyogimamarunningyogimama member
    pistolpackinmomma said:

    ^ it irks me to no end when people say you need a routine but really they mean you need a schedule. I ran into that a lot in another moms group.

    Ditto! Our babies are too young for a schedule, but there's nothing wrong with routine. Feed baby when hungry, let baby sleep when tired. Follow whatever routine you want, but don't not do those two things....

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  • manna1212manna1212 member
    I completely meant to say that they are too young for a set schedule not routine! I didn't realize my typo earlier, sorry!
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  • FlemDanceFlemDance member
    We have a routine that's set by LO. She's pretty consistent with eating every 3 hours, sometimes staying awake and sometimes falling asleep immediately after. She may vary a bit but we just follow her cues and build our routine off of that. Easy peasy. She sleeps in longer stretches during the night but completely on her own - we haven't attempted to schedule that. It's working for us right now so we will continue to use this method!
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  • apinkpelicanapinkpelican member
    I loosely used the EASY schedule as a guideline for a few nights to try to establish some sort of routine (they have one for 4-6 weeks). The main thing I did different was waking her to do the cluster feed in the evening every 2 hours rather than letting her sleep and waking her to feed at 3 hours which is the longest I'll let her go during day/ evening btwn feedings per my LC. LO actually slept the longest those two nights (3.5 and 4.5 hours) that we tried to somewhat follow the schedule. She never makes it 3 hours between feedings during day though as the schedule suggests. Of course I fed her when she was hungry and didn't try to hold her off. I find she usually is awake during day after most feedings so the activity wasn't an issue.
    Then we hit the 6 week growth spurt and all has gone to pot. Our 'routine' looks more like 'Boob, cry, boob, cry, cry, more boob, sleep, poop, repeat'. And that's ok too :)
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  • jsaffer01jsaffer01 member
    I have a routine with LO, I follow what he wants to do. But I do try to hold him off for 4hrs between feedings. Sometimes he can only make it 3 1/2hrs at which point I just give him the bottle then. And if he decides to be awake we play, or if he wants to sleep I'm cool with that too.

    As for his nighttime sleeping he made his own routine for that. After his last evening bottle anywhere from 8-10, he'll sleep for exactly 5hrs wakes up and feeds. Then he goes back to sleep and does a 3hr stretch. Then we get up for the day.

    Again right now I'm following his cues, which he is making his own routines.
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  • pistolpackinmommapistolpackinmomma member
    jsaffer01 said:

    I have a routine with LO, I follow what he wants to do. But I do try to hold him off for 4hrs between feedings. Sometimes he can only make it 3 1/2hrs at which point I just give him the bottle then. And if he decides to be awake we play, or if he wants to sleep I'm cool with that too.

    As for his nighttime sleeping he made his own routine for that. After his last evening bottle anywhere from 8-10, he'll sleep for exactly 5hrs wakes up and feeds. Then he goes back to sleep and does a 3hr stretch. Then we get up for the day.

    Again right now I'm following his cues, which he is making his own routines.

    By trying "to hold him off for 4 hours between feedings" you are not following his cues. I read one story of a woman who tried to get her daughter on a schedule like that and she had a lot of troubles with her daughter.

    https://banned-from-baby-showers.blogspot.com/2012/04/confessions-of-former-babywise-advocate.html?m=1

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  • runningyogimamarunningyogimama member
    pistolpackinmomma said:

    jsaffer01 said:

    I have a routine with LO, I follow what he wants to do. But I do try to hold him off for 4hrs between feedings. Sometimes he can only make it 3 1/2hrs at which point I just give him the bottle then. And if he decides to be awake we play, or if he wants to sleep I'm cool with that too.

    As for his nighttime sleeping he made his own routine for that. After his last evening bottle anywhere from 8-10, he'll sleep for exactly 5hrs wakes up and feeds. Then he goes back to sleep and does a 3hr stretch. Then we get up for the day.

    Again right now I'm following his cues, which he is making his own routines.

    By trying "to hold him off for 4 hours between feedings" you are not following his cues. I read one story of a woman who tried to get her daughter on a schedule like that and she had a lot of troubles with her daughter.

    https://banned-from-baby-showers.blogspot.com/2012/04/confessions-of-former-babywise-advocate.html?m=1

    THIS! Why are you trying to hold baby off for 4 hours? That's not feeding when hungry/following cues. DD1 never made it more than 2 hours between feedings (other than at night) until she was almost 1. I would have been a terrible parent if I had made her sit there and starve between feedings.

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  • pandadairpandadair member
    florassecret said:
    JmeJme said:
    I have a routine with LO, I follow what he wants to do. But I do try to hold him off for 4hrs between feedings. Sometimes he can only make it 3 1/2hrs at which point I just give him the bottle then. And if he decides to be awake we play, or if he wants to sleep I'm cool with that too. As for his nighttime sleeping he made his own routine for that. After his last evening bottle anywhere from 8-10, he'll sleep for exactly 5hrs wakes up and feeds. Then he goes back to sleep and does a 3hr stretch. Then we get up for the day. Again right now I'm following his cues, which he is making his own routines.
    By trying "to hold him off for 4 hours between feedings" you are not following his cues. I read one story of a woman who tried to get her daughter on a schedule like that and she had a lot of troubles with her daughter. https://banned-from-baby-showers.blogspot.com/2012/04/confessions-of-former-babywise-advocate.html?m=1
    THIS! Why are you trying to hold baby off for 4 hours? That's not feeding when hungry/following cues. DD1 never made it more than 2 hours between feedings (other than at night) until she was almost 1. I would have been a terrible parent if I had made her sit there and starve between feedings.
    Uhhh ... so poor baby is starving for 2-2.5 hours? BF babies NEED to eat every 2 hours (or 1.5 depending), their body has digested the milk and they need more food.

    DS can eat whenever he likes, if thats every half hour sure. Its nice when its a longer stretch but he gives me 2-4 hours at night, so I can't really complain. If I can fit in play/activity time (in addition to talking to him and interacting with him) thats an added daily bonus. But eating, sleeping and diapering is of most importance at the moment.

    Depends on the baby, no? (Re: *having* to eat every 2 hours). I don't go more than 3 hours during the day without waking if he's sleeping, but the only time he ever makes any hunger cues that close together is during growth spurts. Not all babies eat every two hours or less.
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  • spacepotatoesspacepotatoes member
    What @pandadair said. During the day, we usually go 2-3 hrs. I will wake at 3 hrs also. But sometimes, LO wants to cluster feed and then it's 1 to 1.5 hrs. If she's showing signs of hunger (as opposed to just wanting to comfort suck), I'm not going to deny her because it's not the "right" time yet. I'd prefer not to be confined to the chair/couch but it's not really about me.
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  • usernewnameusernewname member
    I guess I read it as "I wait 4 hours regardless even if hunger cues are present". 

    If a babe is sleeping of course let them sleep. And if they aren't hungry don't feed them until they are.
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  • pandadairpandadair member
    florassecret said:
    I guess I read it as "I wait 4 hours regardless even if hunger cues are present". 

    If a babe is sleeping of course let them sleep. And if they aren't hungry don't feed them until they are.

    Gotcha. It just read to me like "it's not normal for baby to go more than 2 hrs". It's actually been a source of stress for me that mine never really ate more than 8x per day (maybe 12 during a growth spurt) and, especially at the beginning, I always felt like I was doing something wrong. But he's averaged about a half pound per week gain, so clearly his body is doing what it needs to, I guess.
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  • jsaffer01jsaffer01 member
    His hunger cues don't start until 3.5-4hrs. So I'm not depriving him of his feedings. He is formula fed so he stays fuller longer.
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  • chillypenguinchillypenguin member
    edited June 2014
    Our pedi hates Babywise and told us to steer clear of it. I agree with above, we have definite routines but no sort of schedule yet. DD1 settled into her own sort of schedule when she was a little bit older than this.
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  • usernewnameusernewname member
    jsaffer01 said:

    His hunger cues don't start until 3.5-4hrs. So I'm not depriving him of his feedings. He is formula fed so he stays fuller longer.

    Gotcha. My bad.
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  • jsaffer01jsaffer01 member
    @florassecret‌ I would never deprive my baby of food if he was hungry. But his routine is every 3.5-4hrs. Except he will do a 6hr stretch at bedtime until his middle of the night feeding. And I don't wake him up to feed him. I figure if he is hungry he will wake up and let me know. Also to let you know he eats about 4-5oz sometimes 6oz if he's really hungry. So I know if he ate 5oz he can hold off for 4hrs. Unless it's growth spurt time and then he cluster feeds sometimes so I know he can't hold off.
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  • usernewnameusernewname member
    I hoped I read it wrong. And I got it now :)

    Some people get so stuck on a routine they forget the details and big picture. Sadly I know someone like that.
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  • pistolpackinmommapistolpackinmomma member
    jsaffer01 said:
    @florassecret‌ I would never deprive my baby of food if he was hungry. But his routine is every 3.5-4hrs. Except he will do a 6hr stretch at bedtime until his middle of the night feeding. And I don't wake him up to feed him. I figure if he is hungry he will wake up and let me know. Also to let you know he eats about 4-5oz sometimes 6oz if he's really hungry. So I know if he ate 5oz he can hold off for 4hrs. Unless it's growth spurt time and then he cluster feeds sometimes so I know he can't hold off.

    That is very different from your original statement.

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  • jsaffer01jsaffer01 member
    My orginal post was written at 4:30am I had no idea I worded it wrong. My bad. But my LO set his own routine of feeding every 3.5-4hrs and I follow suit. If he is going through a growth spurt I'll accommodate to him. However I think what I was trying to say in the orginal post is I don't set a schedule for him, and I don't plan on setting a schedule until he starts going to school and then needs a schedule. Up until that point it'll just be routines that we all adjust to, and if they change, let it be.

    Again I am sorry for the wording as I was tired from being up, and I didn't realize I worded it that way. But that is not what I do. I don't make my child hold off. I feed him when he shows me the feeding cues.
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