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Oh, sweet, BD's mom *is* in town...

20thirteen20thirteen member
in Single Parents
Clearly, that was sarcasm. Unfortunately, one of BD's mom's best friend's father died (RIP), so she and her husband flew in today to be here for the funeral. I extended my condolences, and then she asked if she could come over Friday. I said fine and told her that I'm working until 5 so I wouldn't be home until 5:30 at the earliest. And that was a problem because BD's bro is their ride to the wake which is way way far away so she asked to swing by tomorrow. Fun.

BF and I had a convo earlier today about her, I just got a picture book in the mail and after the week I had, the contents kinda of irritated me. The pics of my parents have parts of their faces or heads cut off (while BD's parents are unscathed), some pics that have me included are either the worst pics ever or have parts of my head/face cut off. Any other day I don't think that would offend me, but she did not include *any* pics with DD and BF. not a single one. She has one, and I have several accessible on my Facebook. BF said he didn't care, that he doesn't want her having any pics of him but that just gets under my skin because she will sometimes tell me about how her son is a great father and how he'd do *anything* for DD. Odd. Because he hasn't tried to see her since March, hasn't contacted me since April, aside from asking permission to buy a bond. So, currently, I'm takin care of a toddler who has a double ear infection after having pink eye. Who, by the way, fights/struggles/screams/cries every time I come near her with medicine. I've tried mixing it with food/milk, I've tried giving it to her straight, we went to the doc to get a different medicine and she still won't take it. Where is BD and his great fatherlyness? How is he helping this situation? What is he doing for DD right at this moment? That is a question we can't answer, but we can only guess he's drunk at a bar. Class act, BD, I'm glad he's here for her. ~_~

Anyway, since BD's bro is her ride, I'm probably going to have to see his butthurt self tomorrow too. Makes me wonder if it'll be a family affair with BD trying to weasel his way into the visit. You know, because I'm keeping him from seeing her and all.

And I just want to say, thank god BF is as understanding and supportive as he is... He's always been able to be around when they come over and it is such a relief that, when it's all over, he's there. He's a wonderful dad and such a great person to put up with all of this.

Ugh, I'm already panicking about tomorrow...
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Re: Oh, sweet, BD's mom *is* in town...

  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    Deep breaths and hugs. Btw im dieing at bds mom thinking hes totes yhe best dad ever. Hahahahahahahaha yup he is thats why he buys her diapers, and wipes, and food, and clothimg, and pays all her bills... oh wait he dorsnt do that...

    Well at leaat he sees her whenever possible and gives her hugs and kisses... oh darn he doesnt do that either.

    Hope this meet up isnt to aweful. And for the record thats really effed up about thw picture book
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    I want to fast forward to Friday.  I don't want to deal with her.

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    I haven't heard yet if BD is going to be with them.  Someone usually tells me, unless he just shows up unannounced because, you know, that's great too. 

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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    The rest of that post is in gifs because I can't even think of anything to say that describes my anger, frustration, and overall anxiety-ridden pain of having to deal with this family. I'm going to move and not tell anybody.
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  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    Hugs @Roxalot‌
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    And dont forget to do this
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    And dont forget this about bds mom
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    @lurchbaby  The only upside to them visiting is that it keeps us out of court.  She is the kind of person that would petition for grandparent rights and jump through all the hoops to get it.  In my state, since BD and I were never married and he's not on the birth certificate as the father, they have no rights unless (until) they prove to the courts that BD is the father.  But if they do that, then I'll petition for Child Support (with ALL the back support that he will owe, which could land him in jail sooner than later), which may cause him to then petition for visitation.  That in itself would be a HUGE battle because there is NO WAY I'm trusting him to be alone with her.  So, to keep the boat from rocking and dragging DD through a huge court battle over her that could take forever and possibly fuck her up for life, it's better to just fester for a day and let it be over with.

    Maybe I could find someone with xanax and call it a day... 
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    Where would one go to meet?  I really don't go out and I hate malls, and I try to stay away from restaurants.  If I had to, I would meet up at a mall.  It's noisy, crowded, and I wouldn't have to deal with her too much, right? Because...
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  • jellybean529jellybean529 member
    Can you meet at a park? Or have your dad be there with DD and you and BF not in the house but not far away? She sounds like such a peach. :-P 

    Sorry @roxalot. XOXO
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    The closer we get to the time she's going to show up, the more anxiety I'm feeling.  Not just because she wants to come over but also because DD just isn't well.  I am on the verge of taking her to the ER so they can hook her up to IVs to get her rehydrated.  She is refusing bottles, has been refusing food, and this ear infection is not getting any better because she's refusing that too. I have too much on my plate to even begin to deal with BD's mother.

    Daycare called me at like 11:30 that she was just not taking anything, and so I had to call the doctor and they gave me advice to relay to daycare and then I'm hoping she drinks pedialyte so that that could help her but if not... it's ER time. She's wetting her diapers, but they're a little less wet each time.  And it is scaring the shit out of me.

    Anyone have any advice for that?  How do you get a toddler to drink and stay hydrated when it's pretty much impossible??
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  • jellybean529jellybean529 member
    Have you tried Pedialyte popsicles? Other than that, yeah, I would consider taking her to the ER if her urine output is down.

    ...you could totally use DD's illness to get out of BD's mom visiting...
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    I did mention it to her that we might be taking a trip to the ER because she said she wouldn't be able to make it by until 7:30 or later. Which is when Harley would be in bed.
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    That is, if we didn't go to the ER
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  • MinnesotaMomma91MinnesotaMomma91 member
    Hope harley doesnt have to go to the er!
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  • freeatlast2014freeatlast2014 member
    I would go to an ENT for the ear. Maybe a little steroid will help her clear that infection. It will take down the swelling for sure.
    As for dehydration, maybe just syringe the pedialyte. Do not give Gatorade, they are too little to handle the electrolytes. That's what my pedi said.
    Oh and give Tylenol or Advil for the pain like clock work.
    Good luck!!
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member
    Ok, well, we survived the visit because BD's mom was pretty resigned over the death of her BFF's dad.  So, it was not at all as overwhelming as I was starting to believe it would be.  She took about a million pictures and then left.  BD's brother pretended to be nonchalant about the whole party thing (especially after BF started showing them pictures of the party, LOL).  They were in and out in about 45 minutes.

    DD is still not drinking as much, read online that a (clean) wet rag to suck on could help to keep her hydrated, so I passed that along to daycare which they said they'd do.  Gave them pedialyte if she wouldn't take the milk/formula that I brought and said to notify me if she stops wetting diapers.

    BF noticed this morning that she has a bump on her leg.  I'm not sure if that is something I need to be more worried about or not... its on her right leg just under the knee in the front, it feels a bit squishy (not hard) but clearly hurts her if you push on it.  I can't tell if its something maybe that she got from playing (like, tripping on a toy or something) or if its something that would be serious. I have been so frazzled over the hydration thing that I haven't been as concerned about her leg that I think I would be any other day.  Should I be more concerned about that bump? Now I'm panicking again... 
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  • freeatlast2014freeatlast2014 member
    I wouldn't stress about the bump unless it causes her pain (and not just when you poke it). Next time you are at pedi, show them. Or if it gets really red or swollen, take her in. DS1 had a cyst for quite a while that eventually just went away after I cancelled 2 surgeries to have it removed. We were this close cause it got infected a few times. Now it's gone.
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