Pregnant after a Loss

Intro, infant loss and trying again..

Hello Ladies,

It's been a long time since I've been on these boards. I started in 2010, due in October when I found myself on the loss boards. Another loss in 2012 had me convinced that was it. To our surprise, in 2013 I found myself pregnant again and finally was able to enjoy a healthy and exciting pregnancy. Our son, Finn, was born on September 18th perfect and healthy, and we couldn't have been happier. The unimaginable happened just ten days later when we lost Finn unexpectedly, so heartbreakingly ...it's been a nightmare of grief ever since. 
I'm 41, my husband is 45... He's a wonderful father to my 16 year old daughter, but we've longed for a child together. Finn was so special, he gave me so much hope. 

Well, I'm here again, now eight weeks along with all our hopes and dreams wrapped up inside me. I'm scared - not just about pregnancy loss, but of infant loss...all the milestones now seem so small compared to what lies ahead. My finish line isn't in the delivery room - it goes on so much further, a lifetime. All I ask is for my child to outlive me. Is that too much to ask?

I'm due February 5th, but this baby is likely to be born around 37/38 weeks, being my third c-section, so I'll be a January mom :) 

I hope I can find a place to belong, a group to confide in..., I feel very alone in the world of infant loss. Without any disrespect, and as one who's suffered through miscarriage, the loss of a living, healthy infant is a weight like no other. My Bump ladies from the old days have been so supportive (via Facebook) and I'm so grateful to them for letting me cry to them. I hope I can find more of the same connections as I walk the path through this pregnancy and beyond. 
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Re: Intro, infant loss and trying again..

  • Oh wow, I am so sorry for your loss. ((Hugs)) Congratulations on your BFP and welcome.
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  • erinelerinel member
    I also lost my son, born healthy in January, when he was five weeks old, so I understand your heartbreak. Congratulations on this new pregnancy.

    Me 32 (Stage IV Endometriosis, short luteal phase) DH 38

    Married 5/2010

    January 2014- DS born healthy at 35.4 weeks

    February 2014- DS passed away due to complications from adenovirus

    February 2015- Rainbow baby DD born at 36.3 weeks

    My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/42fd32 

     


  • Thanks ladies... 

    @erinel ...I'm so sorry about your son. :( 

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  • I can't even imagine. I am so sorry for your tragic loss. :( 

    I am happy you found us, though, and I hope we can offer support as you begin your journey with this little one. Sending you and baby tons of good thoughts for health and happiness. 

    _______________________________________________________________________
    First-time mom, 35+, parenting after a loss (mmc Oct. 2012 @ 8 wks), ttc for a year after loss

    CafeMom Tickers


    January PAL siggie challenge; Good advice:
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  • I am so very sorry for your loss.  I imagine your fear and anxiety must be overwhelming.

    You have found a great place full of very supportive women who understand your worries!  Congrats on your new pregnancy and I wish you a healthy and happy 9 months!

    Ava's Story
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    BFP#2 10/18/13  Blighted ovum 11/25/13

    BFP #3 1/31/14 EDD 10/18/14 -- It's a GIRL!

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

  • Thank you, everyone, for your thoughtful replies...and the welcome. :) 
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  • I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. I hope you find the support you need here.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
    BFP #1 10/5/13 MMC 11/13/13 D&C 11/15/13
    BFP #2 5/14/14 EDD 1/19/15 Beta 1: 728 Beta 2: 1858 We have a heartbeat! 166 @ 7w3d  Please be our RAINBOW!
    Baby G is a BOY!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • I'm so sorry for your losses.  Congrats on your new pregnancy!

    BFP#1 4/17/2013 EDD 12/25/2013, MC 5/17/2013 8 weeks 3 days D&C 5/18/2013

    BFP#2 1/20/2014 EDD 9/28/2014, Baby Evie born on 9/23/2014 at 8:50pm.  6 lbs 15 oz!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

  • I am so sorry for your losses. Welcome and Congrats on this pregnancy!
    Me- 27 w/PCOS     DH - 28
    TTC since December 2012 
    BFP 6/29/2013 - EDD 3/16/14 - MMC 9/5/2013
    Diagnosed with PCOS and taking metformin 750 mg  twice a day
    April 2014 -  - 1st ICI Cycle - BFP 5/15/14 EDD: 1/20/15
    A/S 8-22-14 - Its a BOY!!
    12/15 Checkup & heard his beautiful heartbeat
    ALL WELCOME -
    imageimage

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  • I am so very sorry for your losses. What you wrote made me tear up. Congrats on your pregnancy. I hope you have an uneventful, but joyous, 9 months and beyond. Welcome.

    Married August 2003

    BFP: January 8, 2012
    Due: September 5, 2012
    DS: August 14, 2012

    BFP: November 5, 2013
    Due: July 11, 2014
    MMC Detected d&c: December 29, 2013 12w5d

    BFP: June 10, 2014
    Due: February 16, 2015


    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful, Finn.  Congratulations on this pregnancy. I wish you as much peace as possible for your pregnancy and beyond.
    Me: 36 yo, TTC #1 since Feb. 2012
    BFP #1, 3/12, EDD 11/9/12, MMC 3/27/12, D&C 4/10/12

    BFP #2: 11/16/12, EDD 7/25/13, MMC 12/5/12, D&C 12/6/12, Complete molar pregnancy confirmed 2/9/13, benched for 6 months until  August 2013

    IUI #1, 8/16/13 Femara + Menopur, 3 mature follicles, BFN
    IUI #2 (back-to-back, 9/12/13 and 9/13/13) Femara + Menopur, four mature follicles, BFFN
    IUI #3, 10/8/13 Femara + Menopur, six mature follicles, BFN

    BFP #3, 12/9/2013, while on treatment break, EDD: 8/22/2014  Please stick and grow, LO!

    Additional Dx: hypothyroidism, TgAb positive & anti-TPO positive, POR/DOR (2/2013), and suspected endometriosis

    ******All AL always welcome******
    image

  • I am so sorry for the loss of your Finn, as well as your other losses. Congrats on your new pregnancy. I send many T&Ps for a H&H 9 months and for many years to come!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie - (B9PH)

     

    Lilypie - (0YVF)
     TTC since 11/2009; Lap/HSG/Hysteroscopy: 5/2011 (endometriosis - removed; endocervical polyp - removed; high pressure in bilateral tubes - cleared)

    BFP #1: 8/4/11; DS1 born sleeping on 11/16/11 at 19w1d

    BFP # 2: 5/7/12, EDD 1/10/13, DS2 born 1/4/13

    BFP # 3: 11/8/13, EDD 7/17/14, mmc 10wks

    BFP # 4: 5/16/14, EDD 1/15/15, praying for our 2nd rainbow baby 

  • I'm sorry for your losses. Congrats on your new pregnancy.
    Multiple TTCAL 1image
    image
     TTC #1 since March 2011 
    BFP #1: EDD 4/16/13~~blighted ovum w/ 2 gestational sacs~~Loss on 9/18/12
    BFP #2: EDD 9/3/13~~Slow HB at 1st U/S~~MMC -Loss on 2/13/13
    9/13, 10/13, 1/14: letrozole + trigger + TI = All BFNs
    3/14: IUI#1 letrozole/Bravelle/Menopur + trigger = BFN
    BFP #3: EDD 1/27/15 Please be our rainbow! ...Team Green


  • voplovoplo member
    I am very sorry for your losses. I hope you have a great pregnancy and a awesome stay here. Congrats and welcome to the board. 



    Mummy to 2 wonderful children
    Noah (2011) & Lily (2014)
  • rox825rox825 member
    I'm so sorry for your losses. Welcome to the board!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    TTC since Sept 2011, Unexplained IF
    Oct 12 - Jan 14: 3 clomid/TI cycles, 2 hysteroscopies, 2 IUIs, 1 BFP (MMC @ 12w), 2 more IUIs
    Feb 14: Gonal-f + IUI #5 = BFP! (EDD 11/4/14)
    Baby boy arrived 11/13/14!

  • I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. Wishing you a H&H 9 months and a life time of love with your rainbow baby.
    photo e9455f4d-9751-469e-a19f-460104cd2e5c.jpg photo jan15.jpg
    BFP #1 5/20/10 Natural MC at 5w4d 5/28/10
    BFP #2 11/3/10; BO at u/s 10w6d 12/16/10; Natural MC 1/7/11; D&C 4/21/11
    BFP #3 10/27/11 Please stick, LO!! 2/6/12 It's a Girl! Alexis Grace born 6/29/12
    BFP#4 4/27/14 Stick, stick, stick!! 8/11/14 It's a Boy! Evan Wesley born 1/8/15
    "Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow, that is patience."  Let it Be (blog)My BFP Charts
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    This time I'm not leaving without you.
  • Welcome and good luck <3
    BFP #1: It's a GIRL! DD born October, 2012
    BFP #2: m/c at 7w, February, 2014
    BFP #3: It's a BOY! Please be our rainbow! Due February, 2015

    *everyone always welcome*
     image
    image    image   image
  • I am so sorry for the loss of your son. ((Hugs)). Congrats on this pregnancy!
    BFP #2 3/19/14      EDD: 11/28/14
     Femara + Gonal F + Ovidrel  3/6/14  IUI #3 (plus 2x acupuncture)


    Team Pink!!

    BabyFruit Ticker


    BFP #1 7/22/13   EDD 3/29/14   MMC 8/13/13
      Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

     
    image      image
    ALL ARE WELCOME
  • Thank you so much for all the messages. This was so nice to wake up to. This is a great community..really is. Thank you.
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  • I'm so very sorry for your loss of Finn, sorry doesn't seem like enough. That is just so heartbreaking.

    Welcome to the board again. As you move along in your pregnancy, I hope you find support and joy here.
  • I am so sorry for your losses. Congratulations on this pregnancy! I hope you are able to find some small joys along the way through the fear. (((Hugs)))






     


     Image and video hosting by TinyPic 

     

    Anniversary

    TTC Since 04/01/13 

    BFP #1 04/28/13 Its twins! EDD 01/08/2014 MMC confirmed 06/27/13 D&C 07/17/13

    BFP#2 05/19/14 EDD 01/30/2015 Please be our rainbow!

    My Ovulation Chart

    *~*~* All AL Welcome*~*~*


  • I'm so sorry for your losses but I'm glad you have joined us here and hope you have a home here for the next several months. *hugs*
  • So very sorry for the loss of your son.  I wish you a H&H nine months and beyond.


    BFP #1 11/02/13, EDD 07/04/14, BO diagnosed 12/12/13 at 9w5d
    BFP #2 6/12/14, DD born 2/21/15

  • I am new here as well.  I'm so sorry for everything you have gone through.  Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy.
  • jap618jap618 member
    I'm so incredibly sorry for your losses ((((hugs)))) Welcome and congratulations on this pregnancy!
    Married the love of my life June 18, 2011 -- Me (28) DH (29)
    TTC #1 since June 2012
    BFP #1 6.29.12 EDD 3.12.13 MMC discovered 8.11.12 9w5d D&C 8.15.12
    BFP #2 11.2.12 EDD 7.14.13 MMC 6w5d discovered 8w6d 2 failed rounds miso D&C 12.27.12
    BFP #3 8.5.13 EDD 4.18.14 MMC 7w4d discovered 9.25.13 at 10w6d -Trisomy 13- 1 round miso & emergency D&C 10.2.13
    RPL Testing. DX Asherman's November 2013. Low AMH (0.44) January 2014. 
    Operative Hysteroscopy January 2014 to remove scar tissue.
    BFP#4 6.18.14 EDD 3.3.15 Team Pink
    --AL always welcome--
        image  
  • That is so scary... I know with micarraige, we hope to feel "safer" once we get past that loss milestone. (((Hugs))) for you having to endure these losses. I hope this can be your place to confide and find comfort. I wish you an uneventful time and a rainbow baby to raise so big. Thoughts and prayers, and all the support I can offer. ((((HUGS))))
    Pregnancy Ticker
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