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Post pregnancy body, no baby

BoraBoraBabyBoraBoraBaby member
in Late Term and Child Loss
Really struggling with this right now. I feel like some people look at me and think I must be pregnant. Or will they ask if I've just had a baby? Dreading this discussion if it occurs. Even though the conversation hadn't happened in reality, it's happened so many times in my head. I hate this. I can't bring Madeleine back but I just want to have a baby, I'm a mother and no baby to show for it. Just this body.
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Re: Post pregnancy body, no baby

  • lexusolsenlexusolsen member
    It sucks. All if these unexpected complications. It took two weeks of engorged breasts for my milk to go away after we lost ds. With dd I had to supplement with formula from the beginning. I had lost thirty pounds (and was still overweight but much healthier and in better shape) when I got pregnant with ds. Now I'm up fifteen pounds, am totally out if shape, look awful in my clothes and don't even have a baby with me to show for it.

    No advice, but I get it.
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  • AshersMom11AshersMom11 member
    I totally understand. It sucks to still have to go through all the negative aspects of pregnancy with nothing to show for it.

    Asher born February 5, 2011.

    Baby #2 born sleeping at 20 weeks. May 6, 2014.

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  • msunshine123msunshine123 member
    I know what you mean. I feel the same way - my body looks like I had a baby, but I don't have any baby to show for it. The only comment I had so far was when my husband and I were out walking a few days after my son's delivery and a guy said to us,"Next year is going to be different for you two." I just said,"Yeah." He then said to us," Congratulations!" So I just said,"Thanks." My husband was speechless. But I just told my husband afterwards I hope next year is different. I hope we are in a better place and not in as much pain over the loss of our Declan.
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  • TeamWinForeverTeamWinForever member
    I totally get it. I am also up about 15 pounds and I feel horrible about it. For awhile after her birth and death, I didn't really care how I looked. That plus exercise restrictions post c-section led to weight gain. Now that I actually care again, I am having such a hard time loosing the weight.
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  • hsabyanhsabyan member
    I am in the same boat. I was in a wedding last weekend and all I could think was how pregnant I looked in my bridesmaid dress... I just kept feeling like people were looking at me and wondering whether I was pregnant or had just had a baby. 

    I hate it. 
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  • GymSpaz26GymSpaz26 member

    My son was born at 41 weeks 2 days (and passed away at 4 days old). So I was pregnant for almost 42 weeks and gained almost 40 pounds. Of course I had a huge baby belly afterward! I tried so, so hard to not look pregnant when I was out in public. I was also so very afraid of being asked if I were pregnant. It is so hard! Hugs! It will get better. I also learned what kind of clothes worked to kind of hide the belly and not make me look so pregnant, just overweight.

    <a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lagf.lilypie.com/lCl5m7.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers" /></a>
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  • erinelerinel member
    I was asked several times if I was pregnant after Q passed away. It was terrible, but I just said that I had just had a baby, and in two of the cases I added that he passed away. I totally get how you feel, hugs.

    Me 32 (Stage IV Endometriosis, short luteal phase) DH 38

    Married 5/2010

    January 2014- DS born healthy at 35.4 weeks

    February 2014- DS passed away due to complications from adenovirus

    February 2015- Rainbow baby DD born at 36.3 weeks

    My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/42fd32 

     


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  • mmsweeney1mmsweeney1 member
    ** siggy **



    I just wanted to say I totally agree with you. All through pregnancy you hear that the sacrifice of your body will be "so worth it" in the end. Well, for us it's just a sad reminder! Hang in there!

    first son stillborn 7/20/13 at 39 weeks due to Acute Fatty Liver of Pregnancy
    It's a girl! Baby Anna was born August 3, 2014!

     
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  • sunflwrasunflwra member
    Totally understand :(  I was up 5lbs after my first loss and never lost it before my next pregnancy and therefore now I'm up 10lbs after my second loss.  I showed even more because of it and now I have to return to work on Monday still looking somewhat pregnant.  Already had one restaurant server ask when I was expecting my baby. All I said was that I just had one- thankfully he left it at that.  So many reminders- ugh :(

    BFP #1- 4/2011; DD Brynn born 12/2011

    BFP #2- 7/13; EDD- 4/2/14; Lost DS at 20 weeks (11/16/13) due to cord accident

    BFP #3- 3/14; EDD- 11/28/14; Lost DD at 15 weeks (6/7/14)- cause unknown

    To my angels- I held you every second of your lives and I'll love you every second of mine.

     

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  • Jellybean71514Jellybean71514 member
    I have a bit less than 10lbs to go and still not fitting into half my summer clothes - trying those skinny day shorts on creates a meltdown at least once a week- the reminder 'why' is the worst ESP when people told you during pregnancy the sacrifice to your body would be worth it - just hate thinking about why I'm not in shape right now-
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