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Breastfeeding
Sam0905
member
How do you know when to stop? Or to keep trying?
Sam0905
member
This is long, but I'd really appreciate anyone's advice!
I've been struggling with BFing since LO was born. He was born early and was SGA so his mouth was smaller than usual and he had a hard time latching in the hospital. We started pumping and bottle feeding BM right away and he gained weight well. Luckily, I have a good supply and I've always been thankful for that. We saw a LC about a week after discharge from the hospital and discovered he had a lip tie, a tongue tie, and some jaw assymetry (you wouldn't even notice this just looking at him, but one side of his opened mouth is a bit narrower than the other). We started seeing a speech therapist who prescribed exercises to hopefully improve his latch and suck strength. We were finally able to get him to latch and transfer milk with a nipple shield, but were basically EPing with 1-3 nursing attempts a day. It was too much to attempt to BF, then have to give him a bottle of supplemented BM, then pump - these feedings took over an hour. We had his lip and tongue tie released a week and a half ago. He will be 8 weeks old tomorrow and we finally got him to successfully BF without the nipple shield on Monday, but he had to nurse 5 sides and it took 45 minutes. Since then, every time I've tried to nurse him he gets super fussy and ends up screaming. If we are lucky, he'll nurse through the let down on one side before completely melting down. Then he refuses to latch again so I have to supplement with pumped BM and I have to pump again. This whole process is so frustrating but I desperately want to nurse him. He will end up getting pumped BM and I'll have to pump at work when I go back, but I'd love to just be able to nurse him when I am home. I am considering EPing but I just don't know if I'm ready to stop trying. It's just hard bc we've done so much over the last 8 weeks- all the exercises, countless appts, the lip/tongue procedure, etc- and I know he can do it! But most of the time, he just refuses.
For those that EP, how did you come to your decision? Any way to make it less heart wrenching? And for those who EBF but had troubles, how dd you make it through? I don't know how much longer I can do this.
I've been struggling with BFing since LO was born. He was born early and was SGA so his mouth was smaller than usual and he had a hard time latching in the hospital. We started pumping and bottle feeding BM right away and he gained weight well. Luckily, I have a good supply and I've always been thankful for that. We saw a LC about a week after discharge from the hospital and discovered he had a lip tie, a tongue tie, and some jaw assymetry (you wouldn't even notice this just looking at him, but one side of his opened mouth is a bit narrower than the other). We started seeing a speech therapist who prescribed exercises to hopefully improve his latch and suck strength. We were finally able to get him to latch and transfer milk with a nipple shield, but were basically EPing with 1-3 nursing attempts a day. It was too much to attempt to BF, then have to give him a bottle of supplemented BM, then pump - these feedings took over an hour. We had his lip and tongue tie released a week and a half ago. He will be 8 weeks old tomorrow and we finally got him to successfully BF without the nipple shield on Monday, but he had to nurse 5 sides and it took 45 minutes. Since then, every time I've tried to nurse him he gets super fussy and ends up screaming. If we are lucky, he'll nurse through the let down on one side before completely melting down. Then he refuses to latch again so I have to supplement with pumped BM and I have to pump again. This whole process is so frustrating but I desperately want to nurse him. He will end up getting pumped BM and I'll have to pump at work when I go back, but I'd love to just be able to nurse him when I am home. I am considering EPing but I just don't know if I'm ready to stop trying. It's just hard bc we've done so much over the last 8 weeks- all the exercises, countless appts, the lip/tongue procedure, etc- and I know he can do it! But most of the time, he just refuses.
For those that EP, how did you come to your decision? Any way to make it less heart wrenching? And for those who EBF but had troubles, how dd you make it through? I don't know how much longer I can do this.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How do you know when to stop? Or to keep trying?
In the meantime, a few ideas:
- can you start to hand express a little before you latch him on, so that he doesn't have to work so hard for a letdown? He's used to instant gratification from the bottle, so maybe easing him in a little will help.
- while i'm a big fan on feeding on demand, in this case, modify that slightly - Try latching him on when he's not super-hungry (if you expect him to want to eat in 15-30 mins, latch him on early so he can chill a bit, and letdown will happen when he's hungry). See if you can preempt his demand so he isn't too hungry to concentrate on nursing.
- Similarly, don't try to remove the shield when he's super hungry. Catch him before then and see if that helps.
- I fell like I keep recommending this like a crazy person, but take a "nursing vacation," (haha) where you hang out in bed all day, topless, and do skin to skin with LO. Let him latch on whenever an for however long he wants (assuming his latch isn't painful). Just let it be a day or two of practice.
Finally, remember that a 45-minute
nursing session isn't all that unusual! Particularly if he's going through a growth spurt, and not yet an efficient nurser, expect at least a few marathon sessions. DD would stay latched literally from 5-8pm some nights. This passes.
In any event, I know how hard the beginning can be, but don't quit on a bad day. Think about how much progress you've made! The fact that he latched without the shield is a really big deal, and he'll do it again, I'm sure of it. Good luck, mama!
After your 45-min session, was he still hungry? Maybe also ask if you can use your best judgment re: whether he needs a supplement after a good nursing session - if you can drop a couple bottles a day, that also just makes the task so much easier. (I'd ask the LC first, though).
Hugs
@LadyBlue07 - thanks for the suggestion but I don't think wearing him would work. He still needs a lot of help getting latched and the major issue is hat he's just so fussy! Both while trying to latch and when he comes off.