Dog rant/Am I being unreasonable?

biokitty42 · June 2014

I met another mom at the library a few months ago, and we have chatted off and on, and finally arranged a play date for our daughters, who are about a month apart. I took DD over to her place, and she had a dog and a few cats. She said the dog was really friendly and sweet, and that's how it acted. It isn't a huge dog, about the size of a corgi, I think, but not a corgi.

Today we were talking at the library, and she says, "Oh yeah, see that scar on DD's face? Our dog attacked her a few months ago while my mom was watching her." Apparently they took her to the ER, but she didn't need stitches. She has two small facial scars, so the dog went for her face. I was really taken aback and kind of wondering why the hell she didn't tell me that in the first place.

I feel like I kind of have some trust issues with her now, and I'm annoyed. Don't you think that's something that should be disclosed to someone before they bring their toddler to your house? Mostly just venting. I have almost no mommy friends in the area, and it gets lonely.

LTMama · June 2014

Oh my god. She didn't crate the dog or keep it in another room while the kids were playing? I'd be pissed!! If she didn't want to disclose that her dog bit her kid, at the very least she should make sure the dog came nowhere near your child while in her house. Not cool.

TheNutt · June 2014

She should make sure the kids were not around the dog at minimum. From here on, it would be play date at my house.

Sunnyalj · June 2014

Whenever we have play dates I put our large dogs outside or upstairs in their crates. They are wonderful with my DD and other kids but everyone's comfort level with animals and children is different. So I always put them away when we have company.

amom2four · June 2014

My moms poodle mix is an absolute jerk and has gone after my 2yo twice. He's locked up when people come over and we tell parents that he's not nice with people. He's old and cranky and possessive over people. Our dog on the other hand is old and does wonderful with our daughter but we put him in another room around unknown kids just to be safe, again an old dog. She should have put the dog elsewhere , I would be so irritated with that.

ConversationFear · June 2014

As a dog owner - yes it was her responsibility to at least warn you in advance that her dog has been known to act out. Additionally she should have gated or crated the dog up while the play date was going on. You're not overreacting.

Rmj1022 · June 2014

My dogs are sweet and friendly for the most part but they are also unpredictable just like any other dog, I would always have them seperated from my kid and anyone else's kid that came over. I would never want to risk being responsible for my dog causing harm to anyone. It could be something as quick as a child using the dog for leverage to stand up, or pulling on their tail and you can't be sure of their reaction. I know my tiny blind dog gets stepped on from time to time and his initial reaction is to scream and then try to bite the air towards whoever he assumes is hurting him. He's not a dangerous or mean dog, he's just responding to his surroundings in an instinctual way. Ill be keeping both dogs seperated from the baby for quite some time.

LTMama · June 2014

I disagree that it matters whether the dog was provoked or not. She has no idea how the OP's daughter would act around a dog, either, so the fact that her dog attacked a child at all means that the dog needed to be kept away from the kids for the visit, period. I don't think she necessarily had to disclose that the dog attacked her kid (that might be a place where provocation mattered - if the dog was provoked, maybe the owner wouldn't want it to be labeled as dangerous), but she should have kept it in another room. I mean honestly how hard is that?

This stuff gets me worked up. She put your kid in a kind of danger, OP, that's not cool.

AccioPizza · June 2014

LTMama said:
I disagree that it matters whether the dog was provoked or not. She has no idea how the OP's daughter would act around a dog, either, so the fact that her dog attacked a child at all means that the dog needed to be kept away from the kids for the visit, period. I don't think she necessarily had to disclose that the dog attacked her kid (that might be a place where provocation mattered - if the dog was provoked, maybe the owner wouldn't want it to be labeled as dangerous), but she should have kept it in another room. I mean honestly how hard is that?

This stuff gets me worked up. She put your kid in a kind of danger, OP, that's not cool.

100 percent agree with this. I can't stand the 'provocation' argument.

punnybunny · June 2014

I leave my dog out when people come over. Even when they have kids. I usually spend most of my energy keeping an eye on my dog just because I know his cues and can tell when he's had enough of the visitors and needs to be put away. With that said, if I were having a play date at my house I wouldn't want to use that much of my attention on the dog and I would put him somewhere else. Simply because I'd rather focus on the kids and not worry about the dog causing problems (he likes to be mischievous). And he's the only one I've been responsible for until now so, although annoying, I could handle that. Having a baby and a dog with visitors? The baby takes precedence.

I'd be upset that she either didn't tell you about the bite and let you decide your level of comfort having your child around the dog, or that she didn't just put the dog away for the play date.

Bella2425 · June 2014

I always put my dogs up when we have other children at the house. Even when they insist it's ok to let them out. I have BIG dogs and am just not willing to risk it.

GlitterMuffin914 · June 2014

Um. What?

I hope they are seeking proper training for the dog! Regardless, as a responsible dog AND human parent, she should have kept the dog separate from your kid. Introducing new kids to dogs is something that should always be done carefully, and in the presence of the other child's parent. You never know how a dog will react to a new person, especially a small one with a lot of energy, no matter how friendly the dog might be normally. I'm a FTM so I don't have kids right now, but I do have a dog that is typically friendly, but I always introduce him to new kids carefully as he gets overwhelmed by them really easily. If babysitting I typically separate them with a gate or keep him in our room for a while.

As one who typically avoids conflict, I would keep this in mind but probably not say anything about it until my child is invited over again. In the mean time, maybe you can maintain the friendship by arranging play dates at parks, museums, etc.

biokitty42 · June 2014

Okay, I'm glad it isn't just me. I get that it's their dog, and she lives with it and is used to it and is obviously comfortable with the situation, but I really think I should either have been told up front so I could make an informed decision for my kid's safety, or she should have put the dog up if she didn't want to discuss its history.

Irisheyes1247 · June 2014

Yea I don' really care if the kid was jumping on it and pulling its' tail and that's why it went after her, I want to know that coming into your house and letting your dog be around my kid. I try to stress to the kids that animals are unpredictable and we have to treat them with respect, but they play like kids. Who is to say their play wouldn't have stressed the dog out? Esp since it went for the face. I would just have liked to know that.

T&HLove · June 2014

I would definitely be mad that she didn't say that in the first place. I don't care what kind of provocation the dog had... What if your dd provoked the dog in some way while playing? You would have known to keep dd away, or warn her when she gets too close.

hizah05 · June 2014

At the very least the dog should be separated from the kids during a play date. I have an 8 pound, 10 year old dog that barely moves and wouldn't hurt a fly. I lock her up when people come over just so I don't have to worry about it. Plus I wouldn't want to make another person feel uncomfortable or feel the way you do. Like other people said, you never know how a dog will react. Regardless of the nature of any dog they are still a wild animal that has been domesticated. And they can't talk to tell you what they are thinking.

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