UO Thursday

liladelphia215 · June 2014

namcgee said:

SassyMommaC said:

I will totally put my kid on a leash because I've always thought it was awesome. If it weren't considered child abuse, I'd put it in a kennel too. Kids scare me when they start climbing out of their cribs and wandering around. Wish you could just put a top on the crib and solve that problem. But society says that bad LOL
This made me laugh. I agree it's scary when kids start climbing out of their cribs. This is probably a UO too, but I'll say it anyway: We transitioned DD1 to her toddler bed as soon as she started putting her leg over the edge of her crib. We would keep her door closed to keep her in her room (and to help block out some noise in the house). Once she started opening doors, and did so just to stay awake, we put a push button lock door knob on her door. We would only lock it until she fell asleep, then we'd go unlock it so she could get out in the middle of the night if she needed us, or in the morning. We don't use the lock anymore, but we kept it on the door because we knew she'd be sharing a room with DD2. To keep from getting locked in on accident, we use one of those cuff door stops and put it out of her reach. It also helps keep the girls from shutting their fingers in the door.

We put one of the plastic child proofing door knob guard things on the inside knob of #2's door. Not only would he never go to bed when he had the ability to open the door after I laid him down for bed, but more than once I had to completely unscrew and remove the entire door knob mechanism because he and big brother locked themselves inside the room using the turn lock on the knob and could not figure out how to turn it the other way to come out.

Those door knob things were a joke for us. As soon as DD could open the door, she would crush those door knob things and then break them right off the door with her bare hands. No joke.

No point to this reply other than to laugh about fond memories of my toddler lol.

Stargirlb · June 2014

I've considered doing the gender x thing. Only reason I don't is because I'm lazy and it easier to swim with the tide sometimes. Pick your battles and all. I certainly have nothing but respect for people who do choose not to impose a gender identity on their child. Not policing one would be the next best thing.

BookitBoo · June 2014

Ktbug613 said:

BookitBoo said:

Speaking of pacifiers (we call ours a chupa); my UO is that DS is 2 1/2 and still takes his chupa. We also give it to him when he isn't feeling well.

We've tried taking it away and it just hasn't happened. DH is adamant that we're making it a big deal for no reason. It soothes him and makes him comfortable.

Concerning the dental issue- I never took a chupa but I needed braces. DH, who took a chupa for about forever, has always had perfectly straight teeth. Life isn't fair. If DS needs braces when he's older it won't be the end of the world.

Unless I'm missing another reason that the chupa is unhealthy, I don't see any reason to take it away until he's ready.

DS is also very tall for his age and looks to be about a year older. He speaks all the time, and very clearly.

im not sure if the same is true for pacis but a friend of mine just had to have a device installed in the roof of her daughters mouth because she refused to quit thumb sucking. It was not only moving her teeth but she was on the verge of permanent palate(sp? that doesn't look right for some reason) damage

That sounds horrible! Poor baby! How old is she?

DS's teeth are perfectly straight and the doctor hasn't seemed concerned about his chupa use.

(Also, You spelled palate right

aerotigergirl · June 2014

GrahamSchneider said:

*snip*

Those door knob things were a joke for us. As soon as DD could open the door, she would crush those door knob things and then break them right off the door with her bare hands. No joke.

No point to this reply other than to laugh about fond memories of my toddler lol.

Your toddler totally sounds like the Hulk.

rainbows · June 2014

Edited for spelling + clarity:

Hold your hand about your head for 20 minutes, and have someone come and randomly tug on it every few minutes. Painful right? A child harness can keep this from being your toddler's pain.

The lack of strain on their little arms/shoulders, plus the ability to give them a little freedom, without having to worry about getting lost or running in front of cars makes me very pro child harness. Of course, it will probably be my luck to have a child like DH, who figured out how to unlatch the child harness by age 2!

texasmama786 · June 2014

SassyMommaC said:

texasmama786 said:
I'm sure I will offend someone with this but I don't care... This gender x thing is ridiculous. Parents raising their children as gender neutral and keeping their sex a secret until age 5 out of fear of the pressures of gender stereotype is only setting your kid up for confusion and bullying and to me it's selfish of these parents to push their views onto their children. My son loves the color pink and the girls in his class told him it's a girl color, but I encourage my boys to like what they want to like as most moms do. This whole pushing your kid to not conform to male or female and giving them strange stripper sounding names is doing more harm than good.
Is this becoming a "thing" now? I remember reading an article about a family that did thisa few years back, but I haven't met anyone who's done this, or seen more stories about it either.

Unfortunately it is because my son has a gender x in his class. Also, in Australia people can classify as gender x on all government documents including birth certificates/passports. This is a thing now.

nah82 · June 2014

GrahamSchneider said:

namcgee said:

SassyMommaC said:

I will totally put my kid on a leash because I've always thought it was awesome. If it weren't considered child abuse, I'd put it in a kennel too. Kids scare me when they start climbing out of their cribs and wandering around. Wish you could just put a top on the crib and solve that problem. But society says that bad LOL
This made me laugh. I agree it's scary when kids start climbing out of their cribs. This is probably a UO too, but I'll say it anyway: We transitioned DD1 to her toddler bed as soon as she started putting her leg over the edge of her crib. We would keep her door closed to keep her in her room (and to help block out some noise in the house). Once she started opening doors, and did so just to stay awake, we put a push button lock door knob on her door. We would only lock it until she fell asleep, then we'd go unlock it so she could get out in the middle of the night if she needed us, or in the morning. We don't use the lock anymore, but we kept it on the door because we knew she'd be sharing a room with DD2. To keep from getting locked in on accident, we use one of those cuff door stops and put it out of her reach. It also helps keep the girls from shutting their fingers in the door.

We put one of the plastic child proofing door knob guard things on the inside knob of #2's door. Not only would he never go to bed when he had the ability to open the door after I laid him down for bed, but more than once I had to completely unscrew and remove the entire door knob mechanism because he and big brother locked themselves inside the room using the turn lock on the knob and could not figure out how to turn it the other way to come out.

Those door knob things were a joke for us. As soon as DD could open the door, she would crush those door knob things and then break them right off the door with her bare hands. No joke.

No point to this reply other than to laugh about fond memories of my toddler lol.

Luckily he hasn't been able to remove it yet. His big brother can if he tries hard enough. We used to have one on the outside of the bathroom door to keep him away from the sink and toilet, but alas, the second I would get the toddler away from the sink and close the door, the preschooler would need to use the potty. And leave the door open when he was done. Vicious cycle.

Maebb · June 2014

TXUltraRunner said:
I will totally put my kid on a leash because I've always thought it was awesome. If it weren't considered child abuse, I'd put it in a kennel too. Kids scare me when they start climbing out of their cribs and wandering around. Wish you could just put a top on the crib and solve that problem. But society says that bad LOL

@TXUltraRunner‌, my brother was a monkey, and he was climbing out of his crib before age 2. My parents put his mattress on the floor and then turned the crib upside down essentially like a kennel. I am not advocating this, but my brother saw that our current crib is sleigh bed style, and he said, "Oh, that will never work. It can't even be turned upside down!"

Ktbug613 · June 2014

@bookitboo shes 6

MrsMCBMar2014 · June 2014

I don't understand getting excited about knowing the sex of your baby at 11weeks. It can change! Boy parts and girl parts look the same until later in pregnancy (they say 15-20 weeks).

liladelphia215 · June 2014

aerotigergirl said:

GrahamSchneider said:

*snip*

Those door knob things were a joke for us. As soon as DD could open the door, she would crush those door knob things and then break them right off the door with her bare hands. No joke.

No point to this reply other than to laugh about fond memories of my toddler lol.

Your toddler totally sounds like the Hulk.

Lol. It was pretty cousin. Her cousin who is three years older would like turn those things and look at us and say "I don't know how to open this" DD would walk right up and take the thing right off. We had a good laugh about it.

We have to keep a baby gate that she can't open at the steps leading to the front door in case she gets any bright ideas to leave the house.

BookitBoo · June 2014

Ktbug613 said:
@bookitboo shes 6

Yeah, we plan to be chupa free when DS is older and can understand and/or be comforted by other things. I'm not stressing it right now.

Ktbug613 · June 2014

MrsMCBMar2014 said:

I don't understand getting excited about knowing the sex of your baby at 11weeks. It can change! Boy parts and girl parts look the same until later in pregnancy (they say 15-20 weeks).

Im wondering if your referring to a current thread? If so Im thinking she had special testing for genetic disorders not an ultrasound

aerotigergirl · June 2014

MrsMCBMar2014 said:

I don't understand getting excited about knowing the sex of your baby at 11weeks. It can change! Boy parts and girl parts look the same until later in pregnancy (they say 15-20 weeks).

Well, technically it isn't going to "change." Your kid's DNA is your kid's DNA, even at 11 weeks. I agree that, if you're relying on ultrasound alone, it's difficult (though not impossible) to distinguish between boy/girl at 12 weeks. But if you've gotten early genetic testing (Mat21, etc), the sex result you (can often) get at that point isn't going to suddenly switch later on in pregnancy.

MrsMCBMar2014 · June 2014

Ktbug613 said:

MrsMCBMar2014 said:

I don't understand getting excited about knowing the sex of your baby at 11weeks. It can change! Boy parts and girl parts look the same until later in pregnancy (they say 15-20 weeks).

Im wondering if your referring to a current thread? If so Im thinking she had special testing for genetic disorders not an ultrasound

No, had nothing to do with a current thread. It has to do with the 3 girls that I know that are pregnant and they all said that they knew the sex at around 11 weeks (or so). They all had US's done and have already started buying specific clothes, etc. I'll be SMH when they find out at 20 weeks that it's the opposite (or same). I just don't get it. Then again, DH and I won't be finding out until the birth of our baby (originally we were going to find out, but now we aren't.)

Stargirlb · June 2014

Sex, like gender, is also not binary. Not all boys will have a detectable Y chromosome, they can be XX. Females can also be XY. Crazy right?
https://www.isna.org/faq/y_chromosome

Ktbug613 · June 2014

Stargirlb said:

Sex, like gender, is also not binary. Not all boys will have a detectable Y chromosome, they can be XX. Females can also be XY. Crazy right? https://www.isna.org/faq/y_chromosome

please correct me if Im reading wrong but that article sounds a whole lot like sex vs gender. They talk in terms of hormones and masculine "tendencies". Have more of certain hormones than your chromosomes say you should or having tendencies that don't match your chromosome make up doesn't change your chromosomes nor your sex. Perhaps Im not fully understanding though?

Edit: I went back and read the AIS clicky. Very interesting stuff btw. However by their definition a male (XY) is still genetically a male, just that his body doesn't respond to the male hormone causing things to not drop, leaving the "appearance" of female organs. I emphasize the word appearance, it looks like female genataila but its not. Its just un-descended male genetalia. There also is no cervix, ovaries or uterus.

aerotigergirl · June 2014

Stargirlb said:

Sex, like gender, is also not binary. Not all boys will have a detectable Y chromosome, they can be XX. Females can also be XY. Crazy right? https://www.isna.org/faq/y_chromosome

My point still stands. Whatever genes your baby has are what he/she has. As far as I know, and I'm no geneticist, non-invasive prenatal testing such as Mat21 (etc) can see if your baby is carrying XX, XY, X, XXY, XXX or XYY. If it turns out to be XX or XY, those results are likely to be delivered in terms of "Congratulations, your baby is a girl (or boy)!"

Samiantha101 · June 2014

UO: I think it's obnoxious when somebody posts about their baby's gender and then the post is followed with a ton of replies stating how it needs to be referenced as the sex. Maybe if it were just a single person who corrected the op, rather than the entire board, it wouldnt bother me so much.

Stargirlb · June 2014

I think of gender as being a social construct or identity (ie cis man/woman, trans, gender queer etc) which overlap in various ways with our sex; our biological realities. The point is that even those biological realities are not black and white. Not all 'male sexed' individuals have the Y chromosone, not all 'female sexed' individuals have two Xs. That used to be the most binary definition of "sex" and but we are now becoming more aware of the existence of intersex people. Since many people don't even know if they have XX or XY chromosomes, technically you could be 'intersex' and not know it

of course, that May or may not effect your gender identity, and that's why we should not assume anything about someone just because of what we perceive in our very crude way to be their "biology."

https://www.isna.org/faq/what_is_intersex

Maebb · June 2014

@Samiantha101‌, I think it's obnoxious when people continue to say "gender" even though many people have pointed out the distinction.

Stargirlb · June 2014

Many people find it extremely offensive and presumptuous that parents would announce a "gender" for their child.

Stargirlb · June 2014

It's like announcing your infant's heterosexuality.

Beauxbaton · June 2014

I have a real UO for once. I think at this stage there isn't a difference between sex and gender. I mean, I know technically there. But our babies don't identify with a gender yet. So when people say gender referring to sex it just doesn't bother me. If the us tech says my baby has a penis I'll dress him like a boy, simply because that's what I chose. If later he decides differently then we will reassess everything then.

[Deleted User] · June 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Mrs_Bennett · June 2014

We're going on vacation in a few weeks, and we will most definitely be taking our leash/child harness/puppy backpack with a super long tail for DS2. He is a runner, and he doesn't like to hold hands for much longer than 30 second intervals. We are going to Lake Erie, where we will spend a lot of time out on a pier. He's a quick little booger who has no fear of water at all, and I have no doubt that he would try to jump in. Will I watch my kids? Yes. Do I trust 100% that I'll be able to grab him every single time before he makes a beeline into the water? Nope.
I am curious as to what better solution those who are against hold leashes suggest? He does not like to be confined, so the stroller is out. Like I said, he'll hold hands or ride on DH's shoulders briefly. But, he wants to be free, and the leash gives him that little bit of freedom without drowning.

Maebb · June 2014

@Britt1406, it's "border," not "boarder." Sorry to be snarky.

I have a friend whose husband has been sent back to his home country due to the fact that he was here illegally previously. He was sent back 8 months ago, the case will not be reviewed for another 6 months, and they have an 18 month old. I have lived in a foreign country, and the children were living in awful conditions. I'm willing to pay more taxes to make sure children are fed, clothed, and healthy. Perhaps this is a UO with some Americans. It is impossible for me to have an objective opinion on this topic.

Where did you get your statistic that thousands more kids every day come to the U.S. illegally?

TXUltraRunner · June 2014

rainbows said:

My thought on child harnasses. Hold your hand about your head for 20 minutes, and have someone come and randomly tug on it every few minutes. Painful right?

I actually find this description to be more accurate for hand holding than putting a harness on a kid.

thumper7912 · June 2014

GrahamSchneider said:

thumper7912 said:

GrahamSchneider said:

thumper7912 said:

I guess my UO is if something isn't harming your child and helps sooth them (paci,BF) then why take it away. As long as it isn't harming you or your child. I once heard something that always stuck with me, "if everyone is happy, why change something because of society?" This was in direct relations to what you are doing with your LO. Like co sleeping, crib sleeping, paci, bottles, BFing. etc.

Hate to break it to you - I won't get into co sleeping, crib sleeping, and BFing, because I have my own reasons for stopping those, and don't care what others do, but prolonged use of Pacis and Bottles can lead to dental issues depending on how long you let it go on.

But what is the line that you shouldn't or can't go past before dental issues? 1?2? You see many more issues with thumb suckers (pacifier user will resort to this if they really need the comfort and they don't have their pacifier). I feel as long as your kid isn't going to preschool with a pacifier, then you're ok.

And just because I am legitimately interested, what is wrong with crib sleeping? BFing? I do know the argument against co-sleeping.

edit; I'm running off to brunch with MIL but will be back Promise!

Extended BFing, Crib Sleeping, and Co Sleeping are just my personal preferences, which is why I don't argue for or against them - nothing wrong with them. Whatever works for Mom and child works for me, that's cool. We put DD in a twin bed at 18 months because DC was switching her to a nap mat and I wanted to be consistent with them and she did great and never got up. So that's what worked for us, but that may not work for everyone - so I don't argue those points.

I believe the recommendation is to try to ditch the paci by two. Really prolonged use can also lead to speech problems. Sometimes I walk into a store and see kids that have to be five with a paci. For us, we discontinued daytime use of the paci by the time DD was one and nap and night time pacis before she hit 2.5. You don't really know how or when, or if, your child may be affected, but I don't know.. why risk it?

And I completely agree with you on that! What works for one family won't work for another family. That was kind of my point on "if it's not harming, why change it?". FWIW DD never took a pacifier but is still BFing (we are working on that because mommies boobies are hurting $:\$ "> ) I'll still say I don't see anything wrong with a 2 year old using a paci for comfort.

[Deleted User] · June 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

nmrd · June 2014

Britt1406 said:

dimples12 said:

Britt1406 said:

I think they should send the children crossing the boarder back to their home country (unless they have parents here legally, which I don't know why they wouldn't already be with them). 50,000+ already and not stopping, estimating at 140k. If they want to come here, why should they be granted rights above the people who are trying to go through the legal process??

I agree. I don't mind if someone comes to the US and takes the proper steps to become a citizen (I have no idea what those steps are), but people who are in this country illegally should NOT be given care or public aid above those who ARE citizens.
For those not approving of those circumventing the system, do you know how hard the system is? It took 2 of my friends 2 years and 4 years respectively going through the system to get their significant others into the country. The one was married and was brought to US by army after helping in Iraq and then being threatened. He had to leave his wife behind and then couldn't get approval for four years! Sure this is anecdotal but it's not just submitting a form. I'm going to keep reading before I make redundant points.

So this makes it okay for over 50K kids (and thousands more every day, potentially over 140K) to come illegally? My UO was strictly about the thousands of kids coming over the boarder right now. They should be sent back and because the legal process takes a long time will not change my opinion on that. Some people are legit trying to go through the legal process and letting all of these children stay is a slap in the face to everyone who is following the proper procedures.

Who are these children that are just hopping over the border of their own accord?

Maebb · June 2014

Ok, @Britt1405, I just didn't know since you misspelled it twice.

What about your statistic of "thousands" of kids illegally crossing the border into the U.S. every day? Did you proofread that?

liladelphia215 · June 2014

thumper7912 said:

GrahamSchneider said:

thumper7912 said:

GrahamSchneider said:

thumper7912 said:

I guess my UO is if something isn't harming your child and helps sooth them (paci,BF) then why take it away. As long as it isn't harming you or your child. I once heard something that always stuck with me, "if everyone is happy, why change something because of society?" This was in direct relations to what you are doing with your LO. Like co sleeping, crib sleeping, paci, bottles, BFing. etc.

Hate to break it to you - I won't get into co sleeping, crib sleeping, and BFing, because I have my own reasons for stopping those, and don't care what others do, but prolonged use of Pacis and Bottles can lead to dental issues depending on how long you let it go on.

But what is the line that you shouldn't or can't go past before dental issues? 1?2? You see many more issues with thumb suckers (pacifier user will resort to this if they really need the comfort and they don't have their pacifier). I feel as long as your kid isn't going to preschool with a pacifier, then you're ok.

And just because I am legitimately interested, what is wrong with crib sleeping? BFing? I do know the argument against co-sleeping.

edit; I'm running off to brunch with MIL but will be back Promise!

Extended BFing, Crib Sleeping, and Co Sleeping are just my personal preferences, which is why I don't argue for or against them - nothing wrong with them. Whatever works for Mom and child works for me, that's cool. We put DD in a twin bed at 18 months because DC was switching her to a nap mat and I wanted to be consistent with them and she did great and never got up. So that's what worked for us, but that may not work for everyone - so I don't argue those points.

I believe the recommendation is to try to ditch the paci by two. Really prolonged use can also lead to speech problems. Sometimes I walk into a store and see kids that have to be five with a paci. For us, we discontinued daytime use of the paci by the time DD was one and nap and night time pacis before she hit 2.5. You don't really know how or when, or if, your child may be affected, but I don't know.. why risk it?

And I completely agree with you on that! What works for one family won't work for another family. That was kind of my point on "if it's not harming, why change it?". FWIW DD never took a pacifier but is still BFing (we are working on that because mommies boobies are hurting $:\$ "> ) I'll still say I don't see anything wrong with a 2 year old using a paci for comfort.

Yeah, I was more referring to those who are past three or so, maybe even 3.5, even though they recommend two. I don't really think twice about two year olds. Some kids are still teething at two so I understand that (I was lucky, DD had all her teeth, even her two year old molars by 19 months).

But on most issues, the real important ones anyway, I'm totally what works for you

[Deleted User] · June 2014

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[Deleted User] · June 2014

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YaMrWhite · June 2014

Britt1406 said:

nmrd said:

Britt1406 said:

dimples12 said:

Snip

Who are these children that are just hopping over the border of their own accord?

Just responded to another, but if you google Boarder Crisis you can see lots of articles. From what the news is saying they are coming up from all different countries, being told if they come now they can stay. Some families are paying smugglers to get the to the boarder.

@nmrd you might want to google Border Crisis, not Boarder Crisis. You'll have better luck

[Deleted User] · June 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Beauxbaton · June 2014

dimples12 said:

CuppyCakes721 said:
I have a real UO for once. I think at this stage there isn't a difference between sex and gender. I mean, I know technically there. But our babies don't identify with a gender yet. So when people say gender referring to sex it just doesn't bother me. If the us tech says my baby has a penis I'll dress him like a boy, simply because that's what I chose. If later he decides differently then we will reassess everything then.
I hear you. But I think the stereotypes are communicated by society very, very early. Dr. William Pollack has some pretty amazing books on gender and emotional expression. He does a nice job with research showing how male infants are emotionally more expressive than female infants. However, by 6, the trend is reversed permanently through conditioning that starts in infancy. Just food for thought.

-----------------
I have a son and he is definitely emotionally expressive. I'm a firm believer in following your kids cues, and that's what I do. I don't really know how you condition an infant yo be less emotionally expressive. But maybe that's because I don't worry about it?

Stargirlb · June 2014

We are all guilty of gender bias. It's socialization.

nursemarie925 · June 2014

MrsMCBMar2014 said:
I don't understand getting excited about knowing the sex of your baby at 11weeks. It can change! Boy parts and girl parts look the same until later in pregnancy (they say 15-20 weeks).

Can't help but wonder if this was directed at my AW thread. I didn't find out the sex based on an ultrasound. I had genetic testing done based on my age. This testing also allowed us to find out the sex with a >99% accuracy.

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